Bahamas G20 Landing Brouhaha

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United States Oval Office seat warmer Hussein Bahamas after arriving in Hangzhou, China for the G20 conference disembarked from his plane using the belly staircase rather than a roll up staircase. De-planing Air Force One by the more common roll up staircase indicates confidence in the security of the de-planing situation and indicates a positive relationship between parties to the landing and de-planing.

By contrast a belly staircase de-planing indicates tension between parties and a lack of confidence defined by feelings of insecurity. The official verified Twitter account of the United States Defense Intelligence Agency made light of the tension by tweeting "Classy as always China" and linking a New York Times piece about the tense situation featuring a full frontal picture of Hussein Bahamas engaged in belly de-planing. The tweet making light of Hussein Bahamas' engagement in a supremely submissive act has already been deleted. Peace in our time.

California Plans Anti-Cattle Legislation

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California lawmakers are targeting cows in their latest front on "Global Warming". Democratic Senator Ricardo Lara, author of the legislation, blames bovine flatulence and manure for producing copious amounts of methane emissions and seeks to send current levels to 40 percent below their 2013 levels by the year 2030. Senate Republicans mostly opposed the measure, which passed near the end of the legislative session Wednesday in Sacramento, claiming it will harm local dairy businesses and cause increased milk prices.

Musk Rocket Goes Boom Destroying Zuckerberg Satellite

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Yesterday a rocket from Elon Musk's (WOT:nonperson) startup SpaceX exploded on its launchpad. Onboard the rocket was an Israeli made satellite intended to bring Mark Zuckerberg's (WOT:nonperson) Facebook to more Africans, a desperate move to counter Facebook's falling usage figures. Elon Musk ventures have been struggling with safety lately. Sorry for your loss.

Once Darling Theranos Takes A Beating On Zika Test

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The blood testing startup Theranos, once favored by the well connected in Washington, has hit a costly new roadblock. Elizabeth Holmes' (WOT:nonperson) startup went through the expensive process of developing a blood test for the Zika virus which they can't market because they botched up the paperwork documenting their testing again while further breaking patient safety rules. Theranos appears to be giving up on recouping the development costs for their test and they withdrawn their application to the FDA. It is still possible for Theranos to reapply after conducting further testing that complies with patient safety rules. Tim Draper (WOT:nonperson) was not solicited for comment and is assumed to still be bullish on Theranos. Sorry for your loss.

Update On Some Forking Losers

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The latest attempt to organize a fork of the Bitcoin blockchain organized on the subreddit /r/btcfork is still underwhelming. The closest thing to an actual name attached to the project is that of noted hamplanet "community organizer" Marshall Long (WOT:nonperson) of GAW Miners and ClassicCoin infamy. The apparent mechanism for triggering their fork is now by setting a "flag day" as trigger mechanisms that require actual indicators of support are too much for them. This fork is setting itself up to be exactly Paycoin 2.0 with the addition of more economic failure modes inherent in being a Bitcoin hard fork. Can you smell what your loss is cooking?

US Third Party Candidate's Ad Buy Spotted In The Wild

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Evidence of a radio ad buy on behalf of United States Libertarian party presidential candidate Gary Johnson was observed in the wild. This morning while the Qntra editor in chief was driving his motor carriage to buy cigarettes he heard a Gary Johnson presidential advertisement on KMOX during their broadcast of the Rush Limbaugh show.

Ad buys by candidates outside of the two major socialist political parties in the United States are an extreme rarity with rare exceptions like the 1992 candidacy of Ross Perot that spoiled the election for George Herbert Walker Bush and ushered in the Clinton I presidency.

The move suggests that in addition to having the money to buy ads, Gary Johnson's campaign is making a serious push to raise their already impressive poll numbers across the 15% threshold necessary to be included in the televised debates. Johnson's chances of winning the November election are slim, but given the major party candidates' historically and consistently low likability, approval, and job readiness polling numbers, there is a solid1 chance Johnson makes the televised debates and draws enough votes to spoil the election for one or both of the major party candidates. Peace in our time.

  1. ~35% Enough to happen, but not enough to refer to as likely  ↩

Nothing Self Actualizes: Zapchain

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$350,000 more in VC monies was flushed down the toilet Monday, as Social network Zapchain announced it was shutting down it's services August 21. Startup accelerator Boost VC launched the server less than a year ago and joins failed spam tipping service ChangeTip on the list of Bitcoin services no one really wants or needs. Zapchain company officials had not commented to press on the announcement, though Coindesk expressed hope was being placed on social ponzi experiment Steem to fill the gap. (archived) Sorry for your loss.

Mircea Popescu Announces Fanfic Contest With 1 Bitcoin Prize

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Following his commentary on pre-eminent American socialist Elliot Rodger and the substantial discussion that followed, Mircea Popescu has announced a prize of one whole integer Bitcoin for the best fanfic. The upswell in fanfic has been inspired of the unconsummated romance between Elliot and his childhood friend James, two kissless virgins who should have kissed each other. Eligibility for the prize is contingent on having a GPG key registered with deebot and a blog upon which to publish your fanfic. The deadline is Halloween. Peace in our time.