Ether Huffing, "RobinHood", And Suicide Hotlines – A Shitcoin Roundup

Ether huffers continue to persist in their delusion they can build a "DAO", nearly four years after it was revealed the platform is irreparably broken. The developers behind "MakerDAO" are still scrambling to minimize the SFYL after "network congestion" caused prices updates to lag and so permitted enterprising individuals to swipe over $4 million USD in ETH from users participating in the scheme (archived). Continue reading

Former Florida Mayor Caught With Overdosed "Male Companion" And "Methamphetamine Appearing Substance"

Andrew Gillum, former Mayor of Tallahassee and DNC backed Florida gubernatorial candidate last election cycle, was found by police while allegedly too inebriated to communicate after the cops were called in response to the drug overdose of a male companion of Gillum (archived). Continue reading

fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Report Sharp Gains For USD Despite US Market Weakening

As strong downward movement hits US markets, fiat/Bitcoin interfaces have reported substantial gains for the USD versus Bitcoin. The USD has risen to less than 5000 USD for one Bitcoin if they are to believed. Notably, this movement follows Mircea Popescu's determination that a Most Serene Republic can not actually be constructed.

Inconvenience Today: Italy Shuts Down "non-essential" Businesses, Pandemic Declared, CME Closes Trading Floor, And More SFYL

The novel coronavirus panic is inciting ever higher levels of inconvenience:

  • Italy has declared a quarantine for the entire country and ordered all businesses with the exception of pharmacies, food markets, and selected "essential" factories shuttered until at least March 25th (archived).
  • The "World Health Organization" declared the spread of the novel coronavirus a pandemic.
  • The Chicago Mercantile Exchange will be closing its trading floor after the close of business Friday (archived).
  • The NCAA "March Madness" basketball games will be closed to fans (archived).
  • US stocks continue suffering: DJIA down 5.86%, S&P 500 down 4.89%, and NASDAQ down 4.7% (archived)
  • A "containment zone" has been set up surrounding New Rochelle, New York's seventh largest "city" after racking up 178 confirmed cases and at least 1000 in quarantine following synagogue exposure to the local patient zero (archived)

As TMSR OS Project Gains Momentum It Begins Leaving Legacy Project Devs Behind

With the young TMSR OS project beginning to take shape, quite a few "developer teams" and "communities" are finding themselves depreciated. From MUSL's legacy developers disqualifying themselves over hieroglyph fixations to the rEFInd developer's silent satisfaction leaving him out, an increasing amount of code is finding itself liberated from herd driven debasement. Continue reading

Circuit Breakers And Blood – Fiat Markets Open With Losses

The losses that started with Asian markets opening continued as European and North American markets opened leading to "circuit breaker" trading halts as stock indexes fell faster than fiat market operators could deign to tolerate (archived). Italian markets have been hit particularly hard as the novel coronavirus has managed to thrive there leading to the quarantine of 15 regions.  In the past 20 years, only the reopening of the NYSE in the aftermath of 9/11 and October 23rd, 2008 rival the S&P 500 ETF's opening losses today. Sorry for your loss.

University Of Tennessee Knoxville Professor To Prison For Simultaneous Affiliations

Last month USG.DoJ began the process of transferring former University of Tennessee Knoxville  Engineering professor An Ming Hu (WoT:nonperson) to the Bureau of Prisons, potentially cutting his welfare benefits substantially over Hu's similtaneous affiliations with NASA and Beijing University of Technology (archived, archived). Continue reading