Buttfunex's Fiat Banking Partners Move Towards Becoming Ex's

Bitfinex self reported that their fiat-side banking partners in the Republic of China1 are going to soon stop doing banking work for them on the bank's initiative. This is in line with the other China's attitude towards their fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interfaces. Sorry for your loss, butt fun while it lasted.


  1. also known as Taiwan, Island China, or Little China  

Easter Manhunt In US

Americans are kept awake as an alleged serial killer eludes law enforcement for more than half a day on what is commonly referred to by hypocrites as the anniversary of their lord's resurrection. Many notice the disconnect between NSA's supposed ability to spy on everybody, and the ongoing inability of the agency to catch a man who broadcast one of his murders live on a popular circle jerk web platform via his cellular telephone. Despite this brief foray into sanity, they fail to recognize that such tools exist for the sole purpose of maintaining a pretense of U.S. Government importance, and that aimless mass shooters pose no threat to it. Amidst vain prayers for the alleged victim are expressions of outrage over the published video of his death, mooed by barely literate cows who have long been oblivious to the fact that these kinds of senseless killings take place on a daily basis throughout the world. It hasn't yet sunk in for those too lazy to read the log that the United States is the new Brazil; soon to be the new Argentina.

Civil Unrest Continues in Berkeley – Antifa Terrorists Deploy Chemical Weapons

Today in Berkeley, California patriotic Americans were again accosted by establishment leftists. The establishment leftists were clad in black and wearing markings suggesting allegiance to the hate filled socialist antifa movement. The patriotic Americans were attending a planned rally in support of the version of Donald Trump that was elected president when the establishment leftists invaded their space and initiated violence. The establishment leftists deployed chemical weapons including CN and oleoresin capsicum. Six hospitalizations are alleged to have resulted to the civil unrest including one stabbing.

French Financial Regulatorast Fines Payment Service Provider Over Bitcoin Business

On March 30th, the "Commission des sanctions" of the "Autorité de Contrôle Prudentiel et de Résolution" fined the Lemon Way Payments Services Provider for over 80,000 € on various charges, among which insufficient KYC and AML performance in relation with a French Bitcoin/fiat interface.

This amount represents almost half the last published profits of the French PSP, led at the time by Mr Sébastien Burlet (WoT: nonperson).

These breach instances include mainly: failure to collect KYC paperwork for 34 customers, failure to report 9 customers to legal enforcement on suspicions of money laundering, and failure to further interrogate 20 customers, for which the declared wealth allegedly didn't match the transaction volumes.

The violations are mostly related to business in relation with an unnamed french Bitcoin/fiat interface. The ACPR aptly reminding the public that Bitcoin carries a high-risk of people actually exercising their basic human right to financial privacy.

US Department of "Justice" Absconding With Botnet In Spanish Arrest

Fresh on the heels of an arresting alleged hacker Peter Levashov in Spain, the Department of Justice announced plans to disable a botnet – known as Kelihos – they claim was under his control and used to send spam emails and infect systems with ransomware. Acting assistant attorney-general Kenneth Blanco said the operation will "redirect Kelihos-infected computers to a substitute server", in order to block communications between infected devices and the botnet server, instead redirecting the compromised machines to the DOJ's own botnet servers. Levashov reportedly had been operating the botnet since 2010, and targeted computers running all variants of Microsoft Windows, the preferred target OS of botnet harvesters worldwide. The Department of Justice statement concluded by stating that "The US government will share samples of the malware with antivirus vendors in facilitate updates to their programs which will allow them to detect and remove Kelihos" while leaving government backdoors firmly in place.

"30 Day" Constipation Of Chinese fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Continues Well Beyond 30 Days

The "30 Day" suspension of Bitcoin withdrawals from Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces has now passed the 61 day mark with no sign of being lifted. The suspensions began when assorted "wreckers" at Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces began collaborating with wreckers at the People's Bank of China instead of dumping the fiat Chinese renminbi. To be clear 61 days is more that 30 days. It is 30 days followed by another 30 days and still another day with no relief in sight for the bagholders. Sorry for your loss.

Altcointradingbot.io Is Very Sorry For Your Loss

Shitcoin traders using the altcoinbot.io system were reporting a series of losses this morning due to a "security flaw" that sold all their Bitcoin and other altcorn for obscure cryptocurrency Rubycoin (RBY). The bitcointalk announcement for the bot, naturally posted by a unknown newbie member with no credentials, bills itself as needing no human intervention and is designed for users "seeking for 20-50-200% profit per trade". The bot only trades using the Baloney exchange API, and the only response from the developer on tardstalk being a cryptic "WARNING! Please disable your API key ASAP! Site might have a security issue! Thanks!" At the time of this article, the altcoinbot.io site was down showing only a cloudflare "Web Server is Down" message and no information was available as to the total amount of Sorry for Your Loss that has occurred due to running untested software by persons not in the Web of Trust.

Dallas Storm/Raid Sirens Pose Interesting Ransomware Potential

Dallas, Texas officials are still attempting to figure out who hacked into the city's emergency warning system Friday night, setting off all 156 sirens across the city and inundating the 911 center with calls from concerned residents. The warning system, which alert residents to severe weather or other public emergencies, was likely breached by someone within close proximity to the Dallas area according to city spokeswoman Sana Syed. Budding Sherlock and Mayor Mike Rawlings said this was "evidence of a need to upgrade and safeguard the city's technology infrastructure", since this obviously wasn't being done before.

The attacker was able to turn the sirens back on 15 times in a 90 minute period, thwarting technicians trying to stop them. City officials were forced to contact the Federal Communications Commission for assistance when it became obvious they were unable to prevent the hackers from rearming the system again once shut off, and were hopeful the system would be restored to "normal operations" again by the end of the weekend, likely meaning returning it to its former state and hoping no one breaks it again.

Islamic State Oppresses Minority Religion On Holy Feast Day

Today militants flying the banner of the Islamic State's Caliphate oppressed members of a minority religion in their place of worship on one of their holy feast days. The militants representing the Caliphate's interests in Egypt bombed two Coptic Christian churches as the members of the minority religion were celebrating "Palm Sunday", a feast marking their holy tradesman's triumphant return to Jerusalem days before the holy tradesman was martyred by combined Italian and Jewish police violence.