Purdue University Bails Out Bezos Bezzle Bungle

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Purdue University has acquired the liabilities associated with Kaplan University's online credential issuing programs by paying a single dollar1 to Jeff Bezos' Graham Holdings.2 Purdue is a degree mill sponsored by the government of Indiana and headed by former Indiana governor Mitch Daniels. Information on any personal considerations given to agents allegedly acting on behalf of Purdue University in order to relieve Jeff Bezos balance sheet of this toxic asset while further paying for the fucking is unavailable at this time.

  1. too many  ↩

  2. Formerly known as the Washington Post company  ↩

Trump Unveils Plans For Massive Tax Cut Benefiting The Working Poor In US

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United States President has begun closing his first hundred days in office by unveiling his tax simplification plan which primarily benefits low to middle income wage earners to much outrage from socialists as it favors the working poor over the dependent poor. Key points of the reform include a doubling of the standard deduction which would help to catch that figure up with the actual inflation of the United States dollar. It means a member of the working poor would have been able to earn up to $12,600 in 2017 before any of their income became taxable.

Trump's tax reform as unveiled also proposes an end to numerous special interest tax deductions targeted to the dependent "makework welfare" class preserving only the deductions for mortgage interest and charitable contributions.

Other assorted reforms include a reduction of personal income tax brackets from 7 to 3. On the business side a reduction of the business tax rate to 15%, and numerous simplifications would offer substantial relief to independent contractors and small business owners.

While these reforms proposed by Trump would offer an improvement to working Americans over what they face now, they are still a far cry from the enlightened tax policy of the sovereign, The Most Serene Republic.

G Inflation Continues In Fiat RF Allocation With Austin, Texas Getting Fifth G

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AT&T has announced a "limited rollout" of their new vaporware 5G Evolution network for Samsung Galaxy S8 devices in Austin, Texas soon. The company, which is currently the second-largest mobile services provider in the United States, assures customers that speeds on the network will be "twice as fast" as their current 4G LTE network offerings though the fine print in their press release states that these are “forward-looking statements that are subject to risks and uncertainties, and actual results may differ materially.” The announcement is likely a re-branding of their current 4G offerings created to foster competition with their main competitor Verizon Wireless, which outbid AT&T for a large portion of the 5G wireless spectrum in January. The goal is to have the non-existent network available in 20 metropolitan locations by the end of the year.

Echos Of The Great Again: France Pits Moderate Populist Against Hard Left Socialist In General Election

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This weekend France conducted the first round of their presidential elections narrowing the field to moderate populist Marine Le Pen and hard left socialist Macron. Le Pen was identified  by Qntra as the favorite to become the next French president back in June of 2016. Macron on the other hand is a long time member of one of France's establishment socialist parties and has a pronounced sexual interest in the elderly. The French fake news media has been assisting Macron's campaign by ignoring his substantial record and fraudulently painting his campaign as outsider and populist. All candidates of France's established parties with a history of holding the presidency were shut out of the final round due to insufficient favorable ballots.

The final round of voting will take place on May 7th, 2017.

"Terror In Their Hearts" Syrian Refugees Settled In North Saint Louis Seek New Refugee Status Due To Neighbourhood Violence

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This week Saint Louis radio station KMOX allegedly received a letter from Syrian refugees settled in North Saint Louis which they translated as stating the refugees had "terror in their hearts" following a home invasion. Further allegations per the radio station's aired portions of the translation include:

  • The locals who participated in the home invasion expressed interest in abducting their children.
  • When they go out in public pictures are taken of their children by the locals.
  • They are afraid to leave their home due to the ambient level of violence in the neighborhood.

KMOX radio host Charlie Brennan who presented the allegations in the letter has yet to publish the full letter in a legible venue, but local police dispute details including the fixation on the children as a cultural misunderstanding. The home invasion and extraordinary ambient level of violence however are in line with other reports from the North Saint Louis conflict zone. Brennan proposed resettling now double refugees in Ballwin, Missouri.

The Syrian refugees were resettled in the North Saint Louis conflict zone by the "International Institute of Saint Louis", an immigration and refugee settlement organization aligned with leftist political causes and located in the trendy, hip Tower Grove East neighborhood of Saint Louis City.

Plastc – Crowdfunded "Credit Card Of The Futures" Goes SFYL

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Backers of fiat vaporware company Plastc are feeling the sting of a 9 Million USD Sorry For Your Loss after their pre-orders were abruptly cancelled this week when executives announced instead a shutdown and bankruptcy filing. The company, which once promised consumers one credit and debit card to rule all their various cards, lost two investment deals back-to-back, of $3.5 million and $6.75 million USD respectively and filed for US Bankruptcy protection on Thursday. All customer support personnel and social media managers have been laid off, leaving persons who pre-ordered no product and no avenue by which to find out when, if any, of their monies invested will be recouped. (archived)

Elon Musk Presents Tesla Motors Presents: Parking Brake Recall

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Tesla Motors, an Elon Musk Production presents a recall of Model X minivans and Model S sedans over a parking brake manufacturing flaw which may lead the parking brake to fail to disengage. When this manufacturing flaw is realized the affected vehicle's parking brake engages and due to mechanical failures can not be disengaged without repairing broken components. As Tesla abandoned implementing parking pawls in their automatic transmissions following misadventures with the widely adopted technology in initial Roadster model, Tesla vehicles have relied on the parking brake alone to secure them in a stationary position.

Balance Of Buttfunex "Cold Storage" Address Down 50 kiloBitcoin And Falling

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Bitfinex death watch continues with the address declared to be their "cold storage" down 50,000 Bitcoins and counting. This comes as Buttfunex's fait banking partners have ceased processing fiat withdrawals from this fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interface. Sorry for your loss… butt fun while it lasted.

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend (TM)(R): Monero Ring Solution, Coinbase Presents GDAX Has Goxlike Phenomenon, And Another Hoaxtoshi

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A site surfaced recently known as "Monero Link" and claims to be able to uncover the precious ring signatures that have made Monero the darling of reddit privacy tards and users of darknet markets.

The Coinbase fiat interface GDAX suffered a bug on Sunday that sent Bitcoin prices plummeting down to $0.06 BTC/USD1 following "schedule maintenance". Brian Armstrong and the other Coinbase cryptcurrency expertsexchange did not wait to reopen market executions that allows orders to populate adequately, though margin trading companies said it "mattered little" because Coinbase is such a small player in the game.

Porsche, having already ruined transmissions with it's Tiptronic offerings, seeks to do the same with Bitcoin as it tries to entice developers and startup companies to provide "blockchain solutions" for the company.

A new, improved Hoaxtoshi has surfaced in Bali, and is meeting "community members" in his hotel and answering questions on Quora.com as the anonymous Bitcon founder. This Hoaxtoshi told bitcoin.com he was unable to sign either an early Bitcoin transaction or a statement with his original GPG key because “A sequence of events unfolded in 2010 that caused me the loss of all my keys.” He further claims only 2 copies of his Bitcoin private keys existed; one in an encrypted notepad document and the other was stored in his original GMX email account. "Mr. Nakamoto" conveniently is unable to access either source and alleges losing the data was what led to him leaving the Bitcoin project suddenly.

  1. Just like on Gox  ↩

Twin Suicides Grip USian Psyche

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The suicides of Easter Manhunt subject and "social worker" Steve Stephens and Patriots handegger Aaron Hernandez are dominating today's news cycle in the Anglophone bantustan north of Mexico. The slaughtering social worker went an hero when he was cornered by police trying to get some McNuggets to satisfy his obeastial rather than murderous urges. The sportsballer went an hero in prison where he was sentenced for life due to allegations of killing two less famous men.

This is enforced national mourning is the fourth major item pushed by the Fake news media this year. This previous major fake news narratives were:

  1. Denial that Donald Trump is the elected President of the United States.
  2. Enthusiasm and legitimization of Donald Trump-Clinton as President of the United States after he embraced Hillary Rodham-Clinton's foreign policy agenda.
  3. Continued bloodlust from pro-Imperial fake news spammers encouraging war with Russia.