Tears Of The Great Again: Leftists Find, Exploit Trump's Weakness

Posted on by

Hope for The Great Again coming to America appears to be dwindling with the leftist media finally having found and exploited Donald Trump-Clinton's greatest weakness. Like many Americans of his advanced age, the man watches too much television and he has a soft spot for babies. In the days since potential ex-President Trump shoved 60 cruise missiles into a Syrian airfield's pussy, a disturbing number of items in the Fake News media seem to have been targeted at a certain single viewer with the likely hope that they can repeat their exploit trigger.

Substantial effort is being directed to subvert the "America First" agenda which lead to Donald Trump's election by the American mainstream and instead warp it into an Obama-ist perversion that means bomb foreigners and scare no one. The Great Again's best hope for realization is if the Trump Administration's moral center Mike Pence does the correct, fatherly thing and turn off his boss's television. Pence in our time.

The Dog Has Been Wagged: Trump Fires 60 Cruise Missiles Into Syrian Airfield's Pussy

Posted on by

US President Donald Trump has taken up the mantle of "warrior for babies" following an alleged sarin gas attack.1 In keeping with his announced deviation from the Hussein Bahamas era policy of announcing military strikes months in advance, Donald Trump ordered the launch of 60 Tomahawk cruise missiles straight into the pussy of a Syrian air base near Homs.

The USS Porter and USS Ross which launched the missiles appear to still be floating suggesting the ongoing Trump led populist regime change in the United States has placed limits on Russia's support for Syrian President Assad. It remains to be seen whether this event leads to US-Russian cooperation on the path towards "Make World Great Again", or if this leads to the abortion of ongoing efforts to summon The Great Again with Trump succumbing to Clintonism. Pence in our time.

  1. Potentially a convential attack on chemical munitions storage that lead to a containment breach. Media reports are conflicting on the nature of the event. ↩

Prudes Attack Pence Security Detail

Posted on by

A Secret Service agent assigned to Vice President Mike Pence's1 security detail has been suspended after allegations that he met a prostitute at a Maryland hotel. The manager of the unnamed hotel snitched on the pair after becoming suspicious of what two consenting adults might be doing behind closed doors on their own time. Police arrested the agent when he exited the motel and charged him with solicitation, and the matter is now being investigated by the "Office of Professional Responsibility". A spokesman for the Secret Service said "the full range of disciplinary actions" were being explored, though no word was available as to whether the agent and his female companion explored a full range of disciplinary actions on their own before the tryst was interrupted.

  1. Pence himself follows the "Billy Graham rule never spending time alone with women other than the Pencewife.  ↩

Majority Black Ferguson Missouri Re-Elects White Man As Mayor

Posted on by

Ferguson, the majority black suburb of Saint Louis, Missouri has re-elected white man James Knowles III to a third term as mayor. Knowles was challenged by black woman and former Mary Kay sales professional Ella Jones who ran on a "Black Lives Matter" platform in the city where Knowles response to black civil unrest is alleged to have sparked the "Black Lives Matter" movement. Since the August 2014 shooting which was latched on to by the Fake News media who canonized the late Michael Brown as a saint, black lives have not seemed to particularly increase in significance among the local community. Two thirds of Ferguson's population is black and Knowles was re-elected by 56 percent of the ballots cast in the election.

Hussein Bahamas Advisor Susan Rice Fingered As Surveillance To Political Operatives Conduit

Posted on by

Numerous sources are fingering Hussein Bahamas advisor Susan Rice as the conduit who carried so called "incidentally collected" surveillance on US President Trump and his associates to the rest of Hussein Bahamas political operatives. Jeff Bezos run fake news outlets under the "Washington Post" label are predictably running pieces alleging that not only did Susan Rice not do such a thing, but she should have because it would be "Right, Good, and Proper"(TM)(R).1

  1. The same outlets have run a piece of speculative fiction supposing an American "Reichstag Fire" which would subvert the "rule of law" pretense. Unfortunately the piece was published 5684 days after September 11, 2001.  ↩

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend: Ver's Second Coming, PiTato Drama, Hash Shenanigans

Posted on by
  • Buttcoin Unlimited fork supporters are still waiting for the second coming of their altcoin Jesus Roger Ver, hoping he makes good on a promise to trade all of his actual Bitcoins for BCU tokens on Buttfinex at a 1:1 ratio. A reddit user claiming to control an address with 40,000 BTC made the deal with the shitcoin slinger over a week ago, though the deal has to be finalized, likely due to the whole "deal" being nothing more than a social engineering attempt to shore up prices and support. Prices of the BCU tokens at the time of this article were sitting at 0.14 BTC per and a stagnant volume of less than 20 BTC in trading.
  • Reddit users finally start to suspect that, just maybe, 21co is nothing more than shit-as-a-service, with one user noting the only thing to come out of $121.5 million USD in venture capital funding being a paid inbox service and a $400 Raspberry Pi doorstop with no case and software cloned from other repositories on Github. (archived)
  • Syscoin announced it had received Microshit Azure product certification for 3 "blockchain technology" products, after initially partnering with the altcoin developers a year ago. The hope is that they can sell their particular brand of blockchain snakeoil as enterprise services, although users would likely be better off just using MySQL in the first place.
  • An unknown prankster hacked mining pools antpool, viabtc, and btctop and redirected the hashpower to f2pool. f2pool owner Wang Chun reported that their hashrate "Doubled Instantly". (archived)

US Infrastructure Today: Trump's EPA Saves California Agriculture And Vagrants Drop Atlanta Bridge

Posted on by

Events of the past week have done much to illuminate the state of US "Infrastructure" to the extent such a thing pretends to exist.

  • Substantial protest circulated among the media when Trump's EPA head Scott Pruitt decided not to implement new rules which would prohibit the agricultural use of the organophosphate pesticide chlorpyrifos. Chorpyrifos, while neurotoxic in humans, is a crucial part of sustaining California's pretense as the "salad bowl" of the United States.The fake news media has dedicated zero time to thanks directed towards the Trump administration by produce growers and merchants.
  • In Atlanta a fire which lead to a highway bridge collapse is being attributed to vagrants. Local officials credit bulk storage of PVC pipes under the bridge as providing substantial fuel for the vagrant nuisance conflagration to grow to the point it collapsed the bridge. Three arrests have been made among the local homeless population. These same local officials expect the replacement of 700 feet of highway to take months.
  • Deputy White House Chief of Staff Katie Walsh has been reassigned from the White House to work on a campaign fundraising gig. Katie Walsh has been subject to rumours of serving as a source for the fake news media's delusionist social engineering campaigns.

Qntra (S.QNTR) March 2017 Report

Posted on by 
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA512

For the month of March 2017, Qntra published 39 articles for a total of 4545 words.*

BingoBoingo 2549 - ADD7A9A28F85E5EF1F51904F309BB8D7F3251143

shinohai 1634 - 260FA57BCE677A5C04BF60BA4A75883CC1B1D34C

davout 104 - 291237F37A2C023CADBED52513288EAB01713428 

pete_dushenski 89 - E6625CC14638C4CA404694E9165749929F9A6BDD

asciilifeform 169 - 17215D118B7239507FAFED98B98228A001ABFFC7 

Total : 4545

Total words qualifying for shares - 4545

*This excludes one article - Last month's report
-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: GnuPG v1
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=3JvA
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

On deedbot

Continue reading →

The DAO Is Still Empty: Slock.it Derps Claim Anon Investor Interest

Posted on by

An anonymous investor, evidently accustomed to flushing his money down toilets, has given $2 million USD to failed DAO creators slock.it in order to hire five new "developers" to build a "Universal Sharing Network". The goal of the project is to use smart contracts to monetize the "Internet of Things". Neckbeard Stephan Tual, who somehow still has the job as COO of slock.it stated:

"The smart contracts that we’re going to write as part of the USN are going to be written keeping in mind all the lessons that we’ve learned from The DAO, both in terms of how to write smart contracts, how to keep them safe."

Tual went on to detail a due-diligence process which included an auditing process that must detail where the company will spend funds and what, if anything, the founders have accomplished besides losing millions of dollars and writing shitware on top of an already buggy and unreliable platform. Mr. Tual, however, persists in the delusion that their security is top notch, telling CoinDesk: "There’s going to be top-notch security around the stuff and who’s in a better place to do it than us?". Criticisms regarding the platform and the slock.it team's track record were dismissed as simply foolish talk perpetuated by internet trolls.