Category Archives: Security

ViaBTC Hash Power Halves After Joining Roger VERification Effort

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Following ViaBTC's announcement that they would be supporting the latest effort to fork an altcoin off of Bitcoin their hashpower has dropped by one half and is likely to drop further. The drop in hash rate appears to be due to miner defections. Since "Bitcoin Unlimited"1 became the favored effort pushed by social engineers like Roger Ver, it has been met with an even colder reception than previous forking efforts including Bitcoin XT and ClassicCoin, with the exception of ViaBTC's warm embrace.

ViaBTC is just the latest in a long line of pools to suffer after choosing their vision for the future poorly. Twenty two months after the publication of "The hard fork missile crisis" every aspiring hard fork away from Bitcoin has managed to defeat itself well before the solutions covered in that piece were required though they still abide.

Sorry fork, your loss!

  1. aka Unlimited Spam Coin  ↩

Backpage CEO Criminally Arrested On Pimping Allegations

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State agents in Texas have arrested Carl Ferrer, CEO of backpage.com in a raid after allegations he might know other people could be using his website to engage in adult and child sex-trafficking. Mr Ferrer was arrested on a warrant out of the state of California at the airport in Houston, and warrants were also issued for the ad site’s controlling shareholders, Michael Lacey and James Larkin. The charges levied against Mr. Ferrer include felony charges of pimping a minor, pimping, and conspiracy to commit pimping, and he faces an extradition hearing before he can be returned to California to face the charges. Mr. Ferrer is facing these charges for running a website, not for actually running girls in the street. Sorry for your laws and your lues.

Kim Kardashian Bound, Gagged, and Robbed After Social Media Use

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Kim Kardashian was bound, gagged, and robbed during a home invasion of the Parisian hotel apartment she shares with Yeezus (archived). The heist has been described in the populist media as "well planned" an attribute likely assisted by Kardashian's prolific use of social media. Using social media Kardashian uploaded substantial photo and videographic information of the residence that was likely of tremendous value for the home invaders, 10 million1 United States dollars of informational value if the reports circulating in the popular press are to be believed. Sorry for your loss.

  1. My has the value of these things dropped.  ↩

Colombian Electorate Votes To Continue War Against FARC

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The leftist rebel group FARC and the leftist Colombian government were dealt a serious blow after voters rejected a peace deal at the ballot box. For 52 years FARC has been terrorizing rural Colombia in the name of Marxist Leninism and for the last four of those years alleged Colombian president and noted leftist Juan Manuel Santos Calderon has been negotiating a peace deal centered around "truth and reconciliation" rather than "retributive" justice with the rebels. Apparently "truth and reconciliation is not popular with voters. Peace in our time, ballots in Colombia's.

Datskovskiy Publishes Tool For Making "Parachute" Lamport Keypairs

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Saint Stanislav Datskovskiy (WOT:asciilifeform) published today a tool for creating a one time use "parachute" Lamport keypair. This type of keypair is referred to as a "parachute" because it allows a person to recover their cryptographic identity after the catastrophic compromise of the extant cryptographic system in which their identity was born. For maximum readability and understandability the ever consumate craftsman implemented this tool in bash using common userland utilities.

ClassicCoin Supplanted By UnlimitedSpamCoin As Social Engineer's Forking Brand

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The social engineering effort to fork an altcoin from the Bitcoin blockchain has changed branding yet again. This time the social engineers are beginning to push the idea of creating an altcoin based on the "Unlimited" Bitcoin network client, which was originally created to follow altcoin forks from the Bitcoin network triggered by other clients. Following the  previous GavInsurrections including the failed XTCoin and underwhelming ClassicCoin coups, this latest rehash of an argument that was a non-starter from the beginning offers even less justification than its predecessors.

This latest adventure has three major public drivers:

  1. Roger Ver1 (WOT:nonperson) is continuing his long march from sanity and notably refuses to surrender his will and life to powers greater than himself, especially Bitcoin.
  2. Roger Ver continues abusing and libelling the name of Bitcoin as part of his personal branding in an effort to wantonly and maliciously confuse the uniformed. His latest transgression is the -EV proposition he dubbed "The Bitcoin.com Mining Pool."
  3. Notorious transmayogendered hamplanet and serial fraudster Marshall Long (WOT:nonperson)has yet to complete his life's mission of eating himself to death.

The actual reference Bitcoin network client remains largely unchanged and though refinements continue network consensus rules are unchanged. Accept no substitute for the real deal.

  1. His recent travels to the United States after an acrimonious public divorce strongly suggests Ver has gone stoolie.  ↩

Lizards have human rights too!

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Things are looking up for notorious USG stoolie Brian Kerbs, whose propaganda outlet operating under a thin veneer of "security" met some difficulty earlier this week. A National Security Letter signed by none other than President Hussein Bahamas himself indicates that government's own experts specializing in identifying Russian hackers behind attacks have identified Russian hackers behind the attack. Alongside the claim of Valery Putin-Trump being responsible for the sudden lack of Kerbs in the daily online diet of the free world, Bahamas directed USG.Google, a governmental agency formerly known as a private company to host the Kerbs on its very own servers, under the aegis of Project Shield (or vice-versa).

As previously described by Google,

Project Shield welcomes applications from websites serving news, human rights, or elections monitoring content. We do not provide service to other types of content, including gaming, businesses, or individual blogs.

Hilary Clinton was busy working on an email server deployment for a paying customer and couldn't respond to our request for comment.

Relaxing White House Gmail Lulz

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Yet another hack has hit U.S. Government official, this time a Gmail account belonging to a White House contractor. Ian Mellul, employed by the White House as an advance associate, had many of his personal and private emails released by DC Leaks, which has been responsible for many other high-profile leaks in recent weeks. According to NBC news, this trove contains:

The emails include:

  • Detailed lists of names of Secret Service and White House Military Office staffers who were to travel and manage specific site security for the President and First Lady's trip to Havana, Cuba in March.
  • The White House Travel Manual which includes IT security guidelines for staffers travelling abroad.
  • The detailed routes for movements of the Vice President on trips in the United States (i.e. his route through hotel corridors at an event in Cleveland).
  • The detailed schedules and movements of the First Lady on a trip in the U.S.
    The detailed schedules and movements of trips for Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and former president Bill Clinton.
  • Names, social security numbers, and dates of birth of some White House staff.
  • Names, social security numbers, and dates of birth for guests to vice presidential events that were to be cleared by Secret Service (these are regular citizens or staff such as caterers etcetera who were to meet with the vice president).

This latest hack highlights the embarrassing security protocols used by many government employees and officials, where most incidents are swept under the rug and forgotten. Him in our time.

Peace Comes To Yahoo – Half A Billion Users Affected

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News emerged today that after two years of denial, deception, and coverup a 2014 breach that compromised half of a billion Yahoo users account credentials is now public knowledge. Already allegations are flying that the notorious harbinger of serenity and information freedom advocate Peace may be connected to the forced disclosure of this breach.

This news broke years after it happened, years after Yahoo and their CEO Marissa Mayer were aware it happened, but after the startup finally succeeded in its 22 year long mission to find a buyer in Verizon Communications.

Peace, the great absence of disturbance himself has been liberating the account information of numerous online properties without any consideration for their nominal country of origin. It is likely that various criminal gangs masquerading as "law enforcement" will intensify their search for peace to no avail for their path is wrong. Finding peace requires surrendering to him your life, your will, and your worries that a stranger will send your Yahoo Fantasy Sports baseball lineup into disarray. Peace must be accepted into the heart, not chased. Him in our time. His will and his passwords, not yours.

Cash Seized By NYPD Uncounted And Untracked

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The NYPD is seizing so much money through it civil assets forfeiture laws that counting it all would cause their Property and Evidence Tracking System (PETS) to crash due to the volume. NYPD's Assistant Deputy Commissioner Robert Messner stated he "no idea how much money it took in as evidence, nor did it have a way of reporting it" as "a manual count of over half a million invoices each year” would be required. Officials claim that an overhaul of the 4 year old PET system would be required to perform the necessary accounting. (archived)