New Jersey hamplanet and alleged governor Chris Christie's own lawyer asserted his own client was a liar. The trial concerns allegations of wrongdoing connected to a local scandal of trivial importance. Christie is notable for scuttling his own campaign for the United States presidency in order to sabotage his own party's candidates in support of Donald Trump-Clinton's campaign and eating himself into a genderless anatomical state. Sorry for your laws.
Category Archives: Security
Paxful "Executives" Arrested With Oodles Of Drugs
Paxful executives were arrested after Chief Technology Officer Artur Shaback engaged in the practice of "open carry" on the balcony of a private domicile. Police responded to this lawful activity by establishing a perimeter and taking Shaback in to custody along with Paxful Chief Executive Officer Mohamed Azab Yousseff and another yet man, Ivan Suhharev.
Following police violence that allegedly lead to the discovery of drugs the Paxful "executives" were released. The CTO and Suhharev face charges of "improper exhibition" relating to their constitutional open carry in the boundaries of a domicile. The CEO faces charges of hashish and cocaine possession with intent to distribute1 in a clear cut case of "Shrem's Bong" lowering another fringe "emerging technologies" addict into pederasty.
Peace in our time, for as another aspiring businessman once wrote before his life became unmanageable:
Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.
"Intent to distribute" in the Usistani vocabulary denotes a quantity of drug material or a manner of packaging drug material, and does not actually depend upon establishing an actual intent to distribute the drug material. ↩
Japanese Virginity Reaches Crisis Levels
The Japan Times reports that nearly half of unmarried adult Japanese men and women are virgins. Decades of social "reforms" have left the Japanese population docile to the point sex outside a marital contract rarely happens, and Japan's low birthrate suggests that even marital contracts to little to promote sex among those residents of Japan who managed to lose their virginity.
A similar though less developed trend of sexlessness is beginning to emerge in the young adult population in the United States, though rampant transmayogenderism complicates comparisons by as many young Americans can be visually identified as sexually defective from a distance. Japan's increase in obesity lags their growing sexlessness while American sexlessness lags their increasing obesity. The failure of the fundamental biological drive to "make baby" suggest deep defects at the societal and personal level in both cases.
Peace (by attrition) in our time.
US Business Emigration Today! A Special Edition Bayer Roundup Xtend
A number of transactions and announcement occurred today documenting the flight of business activity from the United States.
- Monsanto finally surrendered their business to a bid from Bayer AG for 128 dollars per share in a cash transaction, pending regulatory approval. The purchase would merge the dominant agricultural seed producers firmly placing the future of United States agriculture in German hands. A present the two firms are independently the leading manufacturers of herbicide resistant crops. The number of persons too poor for trees1 is expected to climb.
- Ford Motor Company announced they are moving manufacturing operations for all of their small cars to Mexico.
- Surrogates for the major party candidates for the United States presidency continue clogging the mainstream press with arguments over which geriatric candidate is less decrepit in their old age as well as which candidate's non-profit "charitable" organization is less corrupt. Hilary Rodham Clinton remains on her third day of rest following this past weekend's health scare.
Also known as living in a state of povertree. ↩
Social Engineering Bests Self Describe Securitist
An Austrian "cybersecurity researcher" was educated in the finer points of social engineering, after falling victim to a teenage redditard's Bitcoin scam. Christian Haschek agreed to give the kid $500 in Apple iTunes gift cards in exchange for nonexistent Bitcoin. Despite being a blogger on the subject of insecurity, Mr. Haschek never asked his attacker for a signed message to prove the existence of funds or his identity in the WOT. (archived) After having his identity traced through facebook, the stolen money was returned.
These lulz follow other not-quite-newsworthy trends this week, such as the arrest of 2 youths accused of social engineering their way into accounts of high-ranking U.S. intelligence officials. (archived)
Hillary Clinton's Twin Legs Buckle Where Twin Towers Fell
Candidate for the United States Presidency Hillary Rodham Clinton suffered a medical episode during a ceremony at the 9/11 Memorial in New York. Her legs buckled and she appeared to faint (archived). This incident is notable for receiving coverage in the mainstream US press which has thus far dismissed concerns about Hillary's health as crackpottery. She is sixty-eight years old and she will turn sixty-nine before the election. Her major election opponent Donald Trump-Clinton at seventy years of age is also geriatric. Of the candidates on the ballot in all 50 states, Gary Johnson is the only candidate who would finish a first term as president before his seventieth birthday. Peace in our time, Rest in theirs.
Update: Hillary was evacuated from the 9/11 memorial in Manhattan to her daughter Chelsea's apartment. Representatives of her campaign insist she merely "overheated" though in the United States heat related injuries are taken very seriously by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration and classified as reportable incidents subject to investigations, fines, and penalties. Clinton privilege strikes again.
Update 2: Now Hillary's doctor is alleging that she has been suffering pneumonia since Friday. Pneumonia is a leading cause of death in geriatrics.
Democratic People's Republic Of Best Korea Conducts Fifth Nuclear Test
Peace in our time.
Politician Who Audited Elections Board Security Sentenced
Insurgent Florida Politician David Levin, the man who responsibly performed an audit of the Lee County Supervisor of Elections website and disclosed the results, has been sentenced to 20 days of prison for preforming that public service. As is traditional in the United States of Amerikkka after his release his freedoms will remain restricted as he is held a further two years in a state of probation. Peace in our time.
Past Dropbox Use Casts Spectre
A hack that occurred nearly four years ago is coming back to haunt Dropbox, with the data now appearing for sale on a darknet marketplace. Dropbox only announced the breach last week, notifying the affected users that the company would be resetting their passwords. The data reportedly includes the email addresses and hashed passwords that were obtained in the 2012 hack, which Dropbox officials blamed on an employee's reused password. The vendor is offering the trove for a mere 2 BTC making it likely that many of salted and hashed passwords have not yet been decrypted. Either that or after the Peace trove, passwords are cheap. Him in our time
Black Man Shot In North Saint Louis County
Darren Seals, a black man, was found shot to death in a car in North Saint Louis county. This is not an uncommon occurrence aside from the fact that Seals' cadaver was discovered in the car after first responders arrived because it was on fire. Young black men being found shot motor vehicles is typical for the area, but the motor vehicles carrying the deceased to beyond are rarely on fire. Usually the only vehicles found locally on fire are police cars.
Seals was a face of the 2014 civil unrest in Ferguson Missouri Black Lives Matter movement and is reported to recently have held an event on "Facebook Live" where alleged local agents of oppression drew firearms on him for the crime of walking near a suicide investigation. Peace in our time.