Pantsuit Disarmament March Eclipsed In Popular Headlines By Opposition From Musicians: Killa Mike And Bataclan Survivor Jesse Hughes Call For Sanity

A disarmament march carried out by young pantsuits supporting citizen disarmament in the United States was overshadowed in the Pantsuit media this weekend by celebrity opposition. The trend was started by a National Rifle Association interview with beloved gangsta rapper Killer Mike who attacked young gun grabbers as 'progressive lackeys' and 'not woke' working to 'progress us into slavery' (archived).

This was followed today by pantsuit pearl clutching in outrage against Bataclan terror attack survivor Jesse Helms who compared people opposing their own gun ownership because of violence to men chopping off their own dicks to stop rape. Helms further accused the student activists the pantsuit march was centered around of exploiting their classmates' deaths for Facebook likes (archived).

Nine Citizens of Iran Given the Honour of Inclusion in USG.FBI's 'Wanted List'

On Friday, March 23, USG once more indulged its recently-acquired taste for indicting in absentia loyal soldiers of a sovereign nation — this time, nine signals-intelligence professionals residing in, and lawful citizens of, Iran. For carrying out their duties in service to their sovereign, USG saw it fit to charge (archived OCR) them in USG kangaroo court with the USG.crime of "Conspiracy to Commit Computer Intrusions".

For the role of "victims" of this "crime", USG chief prosecutor Rosenstein cast:

"… 144 U.S. universities, 176 universities across 21 foreign countries, 47 domestic and foreign private sector companies, the U.S. Department of Labor, the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, the State of Hawaii, the State of Indiana, the United Nations, and the United Nations Children’s Fund",

from whom the "criminals" have "stolen" "…more than 31 terabytes of academic data and intellectual property".

Interestingly, the most unforgivable USG.crime committed by the accused appears to have been a successful attempt to… re-create, in-house, "SciHub":

"The members of the conspiracy used stolen account credentials to obtain unauthorized access to victim professor accounts, which they used to steal research, and other academic data and documents, including, among other things, academic journals, theses, dissertations, and electronic books. The defendants targeted data across all fields of research and academic disciplines, including science and technology, engineering, social sciences, medical, and other professional fields. The defendants stole at least approximately 31.5 terabytes of academic data and intellectual property, which they exfiltrated to servers outside the United States that were under the control of members of the conspiracy… …Megapaper sold stolen academic resources to customers within Iran, including Iran-based public universities and institutions, and Gigapaper sold a service to customers within Iran whereby purchasing customers could use compromised university professor accounts to directly access the online library systems of particular U.S.-based and foreign universities."

I.e. roughly the same act of "terrorism" for which Aaron Swartz was hanged in New York in 2013.

It is worth noting that, while USG at one time, not so long ago, had "long hands" in Iran, these hands have recently acquired a tendency to get abruptly shortenedIranian-style. Therefore it remains unclear how, if at all, USG intends to bring the nine "criminals" to "justice". And one may safely suppose that the only people likely to hang in connection to this "conspiracy"… are the remaining USG moles in Iran, who supplied Rosenstein and his assistant Freislers with their "evidence".

"31337 w4r3z" in our time.

Moves In Trump Administration Signal The Remains Of The US Moving Into A More Aggressive Posture

In pursuit of the Great Again, US President Donald Trump has retained noted advocate of blowing shit up in pursuit of regime change John Bolton as his National Security Adviser. The Iraq war relic's hiring along with recent overtures to trade wars suggest the path to The Great Again is narrowing.

Ledger "Hardware Wallet" Backdoored By Child Who Releases Proof Of Concept Attack

Saleem Rashid has published a vulnerability report on the "Ledger Nano S" hardware wallet (archived). The nature of the vulnerability thorougly counters marketing and damage control PR offered by the firm and it's CEO Eric Larchevêque. This incident once again demonstrates that magic totems are no substitute for hygiene.

USG Attacks Softest "Crypto" Target Possible

Today the USG under the name of President Trump announced sanctions against an ICO offering advanced by the Maduro government in Venezuela. Expect substantial wank and declarations of "effectiveness" in the USG's combat against "trade" in this plainly toxic asset no one but the criminal ICO issuers wanted in the first place. Full text below: Continue reading

Pantsuit Loyalist Sees Pension Plummet

Former assistant FBI director and prominent pantsuit loyalist Andrew McCabe's employment with the FBI was terminated hours before his planned retirement. Following the Bureau's shennanigans on behalf of pantsuit during the 2016 election season, McCabe positioned himself as a obstacle to The Great Again. The termination for cause issued by Attorney General Sessions is likely to substantialy reduce the former G-man's income.

Five Days After Erection "100 Year" Pedestrian Bridge Collapses In Florida

This week a pedestrian bridge with an advertised "100 Year Lifespan" collapsed on its fifth day post erection. Architectural features of the bridge included concrete trusses and a concrete roof for aesthetic effect. The bridge collapsed onto an active roadway. Six cadavers have been recovered from the rubble so far (archived).

US SEC, Elizabeth Holmes, And Theranos Announce "Massive Fraud"Charges And Proposed Settlement Together

The United States Securities and Exchange Commision announced it was filing charges of "Massive Fraud" against Elizabeth Holmes and her Initial Coin Offering, Theranos Labs. Curiously the press release revelaing charges also announced that a settlement has already been agreed to (archived). Also curiously absent from mainstream pantsuit coverage of the charges is the scent of corruption allowing the well connected pantsuits to escape with this sweetheart settlement:

Theranos and Holmes have agreed to settle the fraud charges levied against them.  Holmes agreed to pay a $500,000 penalty, be barred from serving as an officer or director of a public company for 10 years, return the remaining 18.9 million shares that she obtained during the fraud, and relinquish her voting control of Theranos by converting her super-majority Theranos Class B Common shares to Class A Common shares.  Due to the company’s liquidation preference, if Theranos is acquired or is otherwise liquidated, Holmes would not profit from her ownership until – assuming redemption of certain warrants – over $750 million is returned to defrauded investors and other preferred shareholders.  The settlements with Theranos and Holmes are subject to court approval.  Theranos and Holmes neither admitted nor denied the allegations in the SEC’s complaint.

Trump Begins Cleaning White House With Firings

No longer content to let the marginal figures he surrounded himself with in the hope that they might come to love The Great Again, Trump has begun firing senior wafflers. Today's elemination list includes Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Undersecretary of State Steve Goldstein. Make "You're Fired", Great Again!

US FBI And Canadian Mounties Kill Startup After Entrapment Campaign

The CEO of cellular phone hardware startup Phantom Secure was arrested following a joint entrapment campaign conducted by the US FBI and Canadian Mounties (archived). Phantom Secure specialized in reselling Blackberry phones that had been substantially improved through the removal of frivilous shit like cameras and microphones while loading the improved devices with a more mininalist operating system image.