Category Archives: Altcoins

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend: Bitfinex's Token Addiction, Transaction "Acceleration", and itBit Rounding Bug

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Bitfinex, hoping to offer it's userbase more scam tokens to choose from, added cryptocurrency Dash back to it's roster against USD and BTC trading pairs. Bitfinex added the coin in 2014, only to remove it in August of the following year due to low trade volumes. Dash rose to the #3 spot on coinmarketcap.com with a nearly $300 million USD market cap, though price was down -9.04% in the past 24 hours of trading.

BTC.com mining pool, advocates of the Bitcoin Unlimited fork, started offering a new service that allows users to "accelerate" their transactions on the network by paying a fee using a credit card. Pools mining with the Unlimited software claim that blocks are "full" and that an unsafe hard fork is necessary while consistently mining empty blocks.

A hacker known as 4lemon discovered a flaw on itBit exchange that allowed users to send funds that didn't exist from one account to another due to a rounding bug. The user demonstrated he could send 0.000000005 XBT (Less than the trade minimum of 0.00000001) without triggering any sort of error in itBit's trade engine, resulting in SFYL.

The Californian Dilemma Approaching Peak LOL

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The People's Republic of KKKalifornia has found itself in a pickle. While KKKalifornia is actively seeking to secede from the United States because of President Trump's election, KKKalifornia's government is desperately pleading for certain portions of the Trump agenda to be enacted. Namely KKKalifornia wants the portion of The Great Again that involves rebuilding America's infrastructure as the Cali bois who have neglected their home into ruin reject the rest of The Great Again. The arid desert territory's roads are buckling, dams are failing, and the recent, rare deluge which filled their reservoirs is set to break even more of their stuff when the soil dries.

With one hand KKKalifornia neglects its infrastructure while devoting effort to legislating cow flatulence.1 KKKalifornia's crisis is that if one wants a part of The Great Again, one has to accept all of The Great Again. Can KKKalifornia summon the honesty necessary to make amends with Trump and America, or is The Great Again going to pass the once Golden State on by?

  1. And further exports alfalfa to China while pleading thirst.  ↩

A Very Special News Roundup Xtend: Sweden Conscripts, Media Turns To Praise Trump While Knifing Cabinet, Foreign Influence In French Election Overt

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Welcome to a very special edition of the Qntra News1 Roundup Xtend. With the fight to summon The Great Again intensifying, the froth of lulz is spraying all over. Here's a bucket.

  • Sweden has turned to conscription in order to protect Malmo and other "no-go zones" from supposed Russian aggression. Approximately 4,000 men and women will be entered into service on January 1st 2018 from a pool of 13,000 selected for evaluation. There is no word on whether tulpas will count towards those numbers.
  • Following President Trump's nationally televised address to a joint session of Congress the lamestream and fake news media appeared to be headed towards an attempted reset with Trump. Then they came out with the knives and began attacking everyone in the President's circle except the man himself. The current focus of their aggression is Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who apparently committed the crime of being polite, genteel, and southern towards the Russian Ambassador at forgettable social events.
  • Marine Le Pen is now the poll recognized frontrunner in the French presidential election. As a result the parliament of the European Union decided open her to prosecution for "publishing violent images." This overt attempt by foreign European powers to influence the French election is getting little play in the fake news media.

  1. as opposed to earlier editions focusing on items that were not quite news.  ↩

Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP: Obamacare Must Die Before Tax Reform

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Today addressing a gathering of governors, United States President Donald Trump issued an ultimatum that they repeal or replacement Obamacare must come before any tax reform proposals will be considered. This cutting ultimatum comes as congressional members of the party he saved have been the rate limiting factor slowing President Trump's agenda of summoning The Great Again.

Automotive Insurance Premiums Surging In United States, Texting Blamed

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Automotive insurance premiums in the United States have risen ~16% over the past five years with traffic fatalities similarly rising ~14% according to assorted reports. This rise being attributed to a phenomena where the common person when gifted with both motorized transportation and wireless communications combining the two to invent their own woodchipper. The motorist's old nemesis John Barleycorn however is continuing to compete with this upstart hazard, inspiring a motorist in New Orleans to plow into a crowd injuring ~30 today.

Major US Socialist Party Experiences First Contested Chair Contest In Decades As Internal Divisions Grow

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Tom Perez (WOT:nonperson) won the first contested race for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee becoming the defacto boss of the party of losing. Perez, a former secretary of labor, represents the Hillary Rodham-Clinton establishment human trafficking wing of the part which recently lost everything, and he defeated Keith Ellison of the Bernie Sanders, Granola, and voluntary human extinction wing of the party. Meanwhile Trump reigns, praise be upon him.

Hussein Bahamas To Vacation Closer To Kenya?

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The doe-eyed founders of the Obama '17 Campaign for French President recently admitted to MSM that

It's definitely a joke. But it could make people think a little bit about what we could do differently in French politics.

Unsatisfied with the impending La Penmanship and the inevitable conclusion of the Nth Republique,1 this founding band of 30-something "creatives" don't appear to appreciate that Bahamas deported more people from his country and was at war longer than any other previous US President, all while greatly increasing the tax burden and doubling the national debt. Evidently, ostriches believing in the "Scandal-Free Presidency" mythology aren't unknown in the Paris area, as evidenced by the claim that

I think the whole world would love to have him as president

#pasvraiment but that hasn't stopped the increasing use of #ouionpeut.

  1. Not to mention eager to relive the glory days when foreign rulers oversaw the French / Gaulish provinces, whether that was Julius Caesar, Henry V, Henry VI, or Napolean.  ↩

Fire In The Security Theater: Cloudflare Leaks As SHA1 Broken

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Two honored pillars of the "cyber" security theater were lost recently in a fire.

Sorry for your loss.

Yiannopoulos Quits Media Giant Breitbart

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Today tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos quit United States media giant Breitbart after a video became public where Yiannopoulos related that his experience being molested by a member of the clergy wasn't that bad. The moribund press expended substantial column inches condemning the libertine comments as they conducted an organized campaign of oppression against the homosexual Yiannopoulos. Yiannopoulos tendered his resignation to Breitbart media as a result of this harassment campaign.

Meanwhile Breitbart Media, a venture which outlasted founder Andrew Breitbart, has grown to surpass Disney's ESPN in internet audience size according to Alexa.1

  1. For what little Alexa is worth.  ↩

Russia Passes Saudi Arabia In Crude Oil Production

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With an ongoing oil surplus affecting prices, Russia has managed to surpass Saudi Arabia as the world's top oil producer in figures from December. This comes amid independent cuts in Russian oil output and concerted but inconsistent cuts among OPEC members. The United States maintains third place while having not cut output at all.