Category Archives: Altcoins

US Warship Named For Minor Dynasty Suffers Casualties After Aggressing Against 30,000 Ton, Ten Knot Commercial Vessel

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The USS John S. McCain (DDG-56)1 suffered casualties after it collided with the Liberian commercial vessel Alnic MC in an act of aggression by the runty warship.

The runt, an Arleigh Burke class guided missile destroyer named for the grandfather and father of sitting US Senator John S. McCain III, for aggressing beyond its station suffered a hull breach flooding the barracks and reports 10 crew members missing with another five injured. The victim of the warship's ill advised aggression reports minor damage to their bow.

This is the third incident so far this year in the Pacific where aggression by a US warship against a commercial vessel lead to a collision. The only incident where the aggressing US warship inflicted more damaged than it suffered was when the thirty year old and 568 foot long USS Lake Champlain (CG-57) hit a 70 foot fishing vessel near Korea. In a fourth incident from this January the USS Antietam, named after the Battle of Sharpsburg in the American War of Northern Aggression, confused the ground with a commercial vessel and collided with it thereby self inflicting damage to its propulsion system.

  1. Not to be confused with it's predecessor the USS John S. McCain (DL-3) which was commissioned 1953 – 1978  ↩

Minor Pantsuit Apologizes For Crime Against Trump

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Hours ago obese minor Pantsuit Party operative and Missouri State Senator Maria Chappelle-Nadal issued an apology to US President Donald Trump. On August 17th, 2017 Chappelle-Nadal posted:

I hope Trump is assassinated!

Since making the post, Chappelle-Nadal has been condemned by a number of Pantsuit higher ups, with all of zher fellow pantsuit partisans calling for zher resignation. From 2005 through 2009  Chappelle-Nadal sat on the Democratic National Committee, steering Pantsuit's platform for zherdemocracy.

Boston Free Speech Rally Quashed By Pro-Censorship Forces, Pickup Truck Bed Flag Index Climbs

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A rally in support of Free Speech set to happen in Boston was cancelled today after pro censorship terrorists massed in opposition to the rally. After antifa terrorists attacked a similar rally in Charlottesville, Virginia; organizers of the Boston event distanced themselves from the Charlottesville event organized by former Obama For America activist Jason Kessler. This denunciation seemed to embolden the forces of leftist terrorists with ~30,000 marching against free speech in Boston today.

Meanwhile outside of coastal pantsuit strongholds, the Pickup Truck Bed Flag1 index is nearing the all time high set on the night of May 2nd, 2011 after Osama Bin Laden's death was announced. The PTBF is an indicator of acute political interest among rural, conservative2 Americans. This latest increase differs from the 2011 run up in that 2011's peak featured the flag of the occupying Union government forces nearly exclusively. Now the Union flag is losing substantial truck bed share to the Gadsden flag suggestion a more aggressively rebellious posture on the part of rural Americans.

  1. abbreviated PTBF  ↩

  2. i.e. Real  ↩

Blockchain.info Huffs Fumes

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The well known "web wallet" service blockchain.info has revealed plans to support Ether, allowing huffers to SEND and RECEIVE Ether from within the "Bitcoin" interface. Users that log into their blockchain.info account are greeted with a "Welcome to Ether" banner and a brief introduction on the history of flaming tires in shitpits.

The intro states under the heading "Why Should Use It?" that "As the Ethereum platform grows, more intelligent applications will be built on top of it. We want to give you the opportunity to start using ether now, so you'll be ready to use these products in the future." Such "intelligent applications" in the past have included the DAO and using these products will likely result in more SFYL in the future.

Barry Silbert Picks Block 494784 For Altcoin Exodus From Bitcoin

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Barry Silbert's altcoin forking effort, which is just as marginal and fringe as Roger Ver's,1 has selected block 494,784 for their exodus from Bitcoin. The new altcoin has pledged of support from the 50 plus sybils of Barry Silbert's "Digital Currency Group".

We are Barry Silbert for your loss.

  1. Silbert's altcoin has a 2MB blocksize while Ver's has an 8MB blocksize.  ↩

Google, Godaddy, And CoinBase Go Political – Kill Accounts For Conservative Action And Advocacy

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Hot on the heels of the Daily Stormer's domain name being hijacked by Google, fans of the DS who donated bitcoin to its owner Andrew Anglin via Coinbase are reporting their Coinbase accounts have now been terminated. In response to the bans, some users are unwittingly blaming Bitcoin itself, saying:

…So much for anonymous currency.

It's clear that many in the alt-right deride bitcoin and do so to their own detriment. These are the same people who call for violence but quickly retract such statements and cry when confronted by the first sign of it, claiming they are about solutions while continuing to ignore Bitcoin for the most part.

Amazon Fucks Retailers, Panics Customers With Recall Week Before Total Eclipse

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Jeff Bezos' Amazon has recalled numerous sun and eclipse viewing products exactly one week before a total solar eclipse crosses North America (archived). Amazon is alleging that numerous "reports of counterfeits" have compelled them to undertake this blanket recall though Amazon has never been particularly remorseful about selling counterfeit products in the past. The specter of mass blindness however seems to have moved Amazon to act in this one instance.

In typically Incan fashion, Amazon recalled products from a number of their "partner" vendors without any regard for paper work previously submitted establishing authenticity and safety of the recalled products. Naturally this has thoroughly fucked Amazon's "partners" who are now sitting on substantial inventory tied to an infrequent event Amazon has decided to write off. Likewise Amazon's Incan decision making has left their customers panicked, customers who are by and large incapable of assessing the safety of their now recalled purchases with time burning rapidly in advance of the sun's temporary egress from the sky.

As of this writing, the few remaining Amazon listed eclipse viewers sell for fiat equivalent to 0.05-0.1 BTC at current rates offered by fiat/Bitcoin interfaces. Qntra readers who wish to view the eclipse are advised that a welding visor which can be set at "shade 13" is the sweet spot for intermittent direct observations of the sun. Shade 12 offers a lower margin of comfort while shade 14 is too dark to allow a quality viewing experience. However, there is no remedy for having "partnered" with Amazon.

Obamacare Comes To India

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In India more than sixty children are dead after the government run hospital they sought medical treatment at in Gorakhpur ran out of oxygen (archived). The hospital's bill for liquid oxygen deliveries had apparently gone unpaid for some time. The many bureaucratic layers of the Indian Obamacare death panels are pointing fingers at each other and the oxygen supply house for their own failure keep up the illusion that they were saving lives.

Antifa Terrorists And Pantsuit Local Government Shut Down Conservative Rally – Fatalities Reported

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Violence erupted in Charlottesville, Virginia as the city government and local police conspired with Antifa terrorists to cancel a rally promoting understanding, tolerance, and unity among American conservatives and instead bake a riot. Decisions made by Charlottesville mayor Michael Singer (WOT:nonperson), Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe (WOT:nonperson), and the Charlottesville Police Department (WOT:nonpeople) turned a planned peaceful assembly into a mass casualty incident with fatalities.

The planned event dubbed "United the Right" had already been subject to overt leftist opposition since its announcement was granted an assembly permit and police protection only after a court ordered the City of Charlottesville to accommodate the American public's right to assemble in public spaces.

On the morning of the event Charlottesville police allowed Antifa terrorists to assault event attendees with excrement and chemical weapons as they travelled to the reserved park space. The approved event plans which called for physical separation between attendees of the conservative unity event and "protesters" were not implemented.1

Then minutes before the event could begin and after the crowd had assembled, police declared an unlawful assembly, withdrew to the outside of the crowd and kettled the conservative event attendees and Antifa terrorist together. The result was an escalation of violence that "no one could have predicted".

During the brawl, where it appears red blooded American conservatives were happy to contain their fight to engaging Antifa aggressors, a number of Antifa terrorists began spreading their violent outburst. They encircled a passing motorist in his vehicle and attacked the 20 year old motorist, attempting to remove him from his car. This lead to the motorist's Dodge Challenger2 colliding with a collection of Antifa bodies in an apparent attempt to escape. The motorist has been detained on murder charges by Charlottesville police.

At some point a police helicopter also crashed killing two occupants.

America's cold civil war appears to be getting much hotter.

  1. Not that complete separation could have been possible in light of substantial bird dogging and infiltration of the event by antifa terrorists.  ↩

  2. The late model one with the regulation mandated"Pedestrian Safety" bumper, not a classic with amputating and maiming metal bumper which would make more sense if this were a planned attack.  ↩