Category Archives: Africa

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend (TM)(R): Monero Ring Solution, Coinbase Presents GDAX Has Goxlike Phenomenon, And Another Hoaxtoshi

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A site surfaced recently known as "Monero Link" and claims to be able to uncover the precious ring signatures that have made Monero the darling of reddit privacy tards and users of darknet markets.

The Coinbase fiat interface GDAX suffered a bug on Sunday that sent Bitcoin prices plummeting down to $0.06 BTC/USD1 following "schedule maintenance". Brian Armstrong and the other Coinbase cryptcurrency expertsexchange did not wait to reopen market executions that allows orders to populate adequately, though margin trading companies said it "mattered little" because Coinbase is such a small player in the game.

Porsche, having already ruined transmissions with it's Tiptronic offerings, seeks to do the same with Bitcoin as it tries to entice developers and startup companies to provide "blockchain solutions" for the company.

A new, improved Hoaxtoshi has surfaced in Bali, and is meeting "community members" in his hotel and answering questions on Quora.com as the anonymous Bitcon founder. This Hoaxtoshi told bitcoin.com he was unable to sign either an early Bitcoin transaction or a statement with his original GPG key because “A sequence of events unfolded in 2010 that caused me the loss of all my keys.” He further claims only 2 copies of his Bitcoin private keys existed; one in an encrypted notepad document and the other was stored in his original GMX email account. "Mr. Nakamoto" conveniently is unable to access either source and alleges losing the data was what led to him leaving the Bitcoin project suddenly.

  1. Just like on Gox  ↩

Twin Suicides Grip USian Psyche

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The suicides of Easter Manhunt subject and "social worker" Steve Stephens and Patriots handegger Aaron Hernandez are dominating today's news cycle in the Anglophone bantustan north of Mexico. The slaughtering social worker went an hero when he was cornered by police trying to get some McNuggets to satisfy his obeastial rather than murderous urges. The sportsballer went an hero in prison where he was sentenced for life due to allegations of killing two less famous men.

This is enforced national mourning is the fourth major item pushed by the Fake news media this year. This previous major fake news narratives were:

  1. Denial that Donald Trump is the elected President of the United States.
  2. Enthusiasm and legitimization of Donald Trump-Clinton as President of the United States after he embraced Hillary Rodham-Clinton's foreign policy agenda.
  3. Continued bloodlust from pro-Imperial fake news spammers encouraging war with Russia.

Easter Manhunt In US

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Americans are kept awake as an alleged serial killer eludes law enforcement for more than half a day on what is commonly referred to by hypocrites as the anniversary of their lord's resurrection. Many notice the disconnect between NSA's supposed ability to spy on everybody, and the ongoing inability of the agency to catch a man who broadcast one of his murders live on a popular circle jerk web platform via his cellular telephone. Despite this brief foray into sanity, they fail to recognize that such tools exist for the sole purpose of maintaining a pretense of U.S. Government importance, and that aimless mass shooters pose no threat to it. Amidst vain prayers for the alleged victim are expressions of outrage over the published video of his death, mooed by barely literate cows who have long been oblivious to the fact that these kinds of senseless killings take place on a daily basis throughout the world. It hasn't yet sunk in for those too lazy to read the log that the United States is the new Brazil; soon to be the new Argentina.

Civil Unrest Continues in Berkeley – Antifa Terrorists Deploy Chemical Weapons

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Today in Berkeley, California patriotic Americans were again accosted by establishment leftists. The establishment leftists were clad in black and wearing markings suggesting allegiance to the hate filled socialist antifa movement. The patriotic Americans were attending a planned rally in support of the version of Donald Trump that was elected president when the establishment leftists invaded their space and initiated violence. The establishment leftists deployed chemical weapons including CN and oleoresin capsicum. Six hospitalizations are alleged to have resulted to the civil unrest including one stabbing.

French Financial Regulatorast Fines Payment Service Provider Over Bitcoin Business

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On March 30th, the "Commission des sanctions" of the "Autorité de Contrôle Prudentiel et de Résolution" fined the Lemon Way Payments Services Provider for over 80,000 € on various charges, among which insufficient KYC and AML performance in relation with a French Bitcoin/fiat interface.

This amount represents almost half the last published profits of the French PSP, led at the time by Mr Sébastien Burlet (WoT: nonperson).

These breach instances include mainly: failure to collect KYC paperwork for 34 customers, failure to report 9 customers to legal enforcement on suspicions of money laundering, and failure to further interrogate 20 customers, for which the declared wealth allegedly didn't match the transaction volumes.

The violations are mostly related to business in relation with an unnamed french Bitcoin/fiat interface. The ACPR aptly reminding the public that Bitcoin carries a high-risk of people actually exercising their basic human right to financial privacy.

US Department of "Justice" Absconding With Botnet In Spanish Arrest

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Fresh on the heels of an arresting alleged hacker Peter Levashov in Spain, the Department of Justice announced plans to disable a botnet – known as Kelihos – they claim was under his control and used to send spam emails and infect systems with ransomware. Acting assistant attorney-general Kenneth Blanco said the operation will "redirect Kelihos-infected computers to a substitute server", in order to block communications between infected devices and the botnet server, instead redirecting the compromised machines to the DOJ's own botnet servers. Levashov reportedly had been operating the botnet since 2010, and targeted computers running all variants of Microsoft Windows, the preferred target OS of botnet harvesters worldwide. The Department of Justice statement concluded by stating that "The US government will share samples of the malware with antivirus vendors in facilitate updates to their programs which will allow them to detect and remove Kelihos" while leaving government backdoors firmly in place.

Dallas Storm/Raid Sirens Pose Interesting Ransomware Potential

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Dallas, Texas officials are still attempting to figure out who hacked into the city's emergency warning system Friday night, setting off all 156 sirens across the city and inundating the 911 center with calls from concerned residents. The warning system, which alert residents to severe weather or other public emergencies, was likely breached by someone within close proximity to the Dallas area according to city spokeswoman Sana Syed. Budding Sherlock and Mayor Mike Rawlings said this was "evidence of a need to upgrade and safeguard the city's technology infrastructure", since this obviously wasn't being done before.

The attacker was able to turn the sirens back on 15 times in a 90 minute period, thwarting technicians trying to stop them. City officials were forced to contact the Federal Communications Commission for assistance when it became obvious they were unable to prevent the hackers from rearming the system again once shut off, and were hopeful the system would be restored to "normal operations" again by the end of the weekend, likely meaning returning it to its former state and hoping no one breaks it again.

Islamic State Oppresses Minority Religion On Holy Feast Day

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Today militants flying the banner of the Islamic State's Caliphate oppressed members of a minority religion in their place of worship on one of their holy feast days. The militants representing the Caliphate's interests in Egypt bombed two Coptic Christian churches as the members of the minority religion were celebrating "Palm Sunday", a feast marking their holy tradesman's triumphant return to Jerusalem days before the holy tradesman was martyred by combined Italian and Jewish police violence.

Tears Of The Great Again: Leftists Find, Exploit Trump's Weakness

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Hope for The Great Again coming to America appears to be dwindling with the leftist media finally having found and exploited Donald Trump-Clinton's greatest weakness. Like many Americans of his advanced age, the man watches too much television and he has a soft spot for babies. In the days since potential ex-President Trump shoved 60 cruise missiles into a Syrian airfield's pussy, a disturbing number of items in the Fake News media seem to have been targeted at a certain single viewer with the likely hope that they can repeat their exploit trigger.

Substantial effort is being directed to subvert the "America First" agenda which lead to Donald Trump's election by the American mainstream and instead warp it into an Obama-ist perversion that means bomb foreigners and scare no one. The Great Again's best hope for realization is if the Trump Administration's moral center Mike Pence does the correct, fatherly thing and turn off his boss's television. Pence in our time.

Prudes Attack Pence Security Detail

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A Secret Service agent assigned to Vice President Mike Pence's1 security detail has been suspended after allegations that he met a prostitute at a Maryland hotel. The manager of the unnamed hotel snitched on the pair after becoming suspicious of what two consenting adults might be doing behind closed doors on their own time. Police arrested the agent when he exited the motel and charged him with solicitation, and the matter is now being investigated by the "Office of Professional Responsibility". A spokesman for the Secret Service said "the full range of disciplinary actions" were being explored, though no word was available as to whether the agent and his female companion explored a full range of disciplinary actions on their own before the tryst was interrupted.

  1. Pence himself follows the "Billy Graham rule never spending time alone with women other than the Pencewife.  ↩