Pantsuit Party loyalist and nursing home pick up artist Emmanuel Macron has been declared the winner of the French presidential election. Fake news outlets were swift to declare the Pantsuit candidate's victory after polls closed. The actual will of the French people remains uncertain amid widespread allegations that Pantsuit Party loyalists adopted the winning strategy of manipulating the election results by destroying ballots marked in favor of moderate centerist Marine Le Pen of the National Front.
Category Archives: Africa
Mizzou Freshman Enrollment Down 1/3 In Two Years Since Surrender To Leftist Protesters
In the two years since the University of Missouri surrendered to leftist protesters, freshman enrollment has declined by 1/3 going from 6,000 incoming freshmen in 2015 to 4,000 incoming freshmen matriculating in 2017. This suggests the University has become even more unpalatable to prospective students than it is to potential creditors in the aftermath of its surrender.
USG Asset Gavin Andresen Pretends To Meaningfully Inspect Your Random
The erstwhile USG asset and part time mongoloid Gavin Andresen (most notable for being the trumpeted winner that lost a meanwhile unhappened contest) has put pen to paper in a most recent and most amusing assault on sanity and general human decency : randomsanity.org
This offering purports to judge the randomness of 64 bytes of data qua bytes of data. What more could be said?
21.co Opens "Spam As A Service" Service
As previously mentioned in a Shitcoin Roundup Xtend(TM)(R), 21co has positioned itself to become the latest spam as a service by announcing the release of it's "Bitcoin Email" to the general public. 21co assures the public that "Famous people" that no one has ever heard of and aren't in the Web of Trust are currently using the product, which allows users to send such gems as surveys, tasks, and other items which normally hit your Spam folder to be sent to "curated lists of individuals and professionals". Participants are rewarded with Bitcoin shavings, or "micropayments" which is redditard jargon for individuals that don't have much actual Bitcoin. The shift in focus comes after the company failed to convince enough gullible people to shell out $400+ on their "mining hardware" that could never hope to offer a return on investment, instead now hoping to "disrupt social media networks through micropayments" which will likely be true as users will be required to click delete on 21co's proffering before resuming their visual journey through myriad cat pictures. (archived)
Intel AMT Backdoor Keys Updated After Initial Trigger Discovered By Wrong Attackers
The AMT backdoor, an enduring vulnerability in Intel's CPU platforms introduced with the Nehalem series a decade ago is currently being revised, as the criminal organisation known as "the united states government" has discovered that unaligned criminal groups have acquired the means to exploit its current form.
The situation is reminiscent of the USB "bug" in Microsoft Windows on which Stuxnet depended to propagate, where successive generations of patches merely modulated the sequence of events necessary to trigger the exploit without actually closing the underlying hole.
The AMT backdoor is triggered by sending a magic packet to the Intel "Management Engine". There is no way to meaningfully deactivate the hole in any infested machines, which is to say anything containing an Intel processor. Whitelist-only networking may help contain the vulnerability, provided of course that it's not implemented on Cisco equipment.
First One Hundred Days Of The Eight Year Trumpreich: A Recap
One hundred days ago Donald Trump of the International Populist Party was sworn in as the 45th president of the United States much to the consternation of furries, the dependent poor, and their masters at the International Pantsuit Party. Swiftly after the inauguration leftists began issuing calls for political violence while Donald Trump left into action working to summon The Great Again. The calls for violence were swiflty met with delivered violence on the part of so-called 'antifa' activists.
The first major obstruction facing The Great Again swiftly revealed itself in the form of political appointees in the judiciary with a greater loyalty to pantsuit than their understanding of the law. The appointment of Neil Gorsuch to fill the spot on the Supreme Court vacated by judicial hero Antonin Scalia appears to possibly contain this attack vector in the medium term. More serious problems to summoning The Great Again have instead revealed themselves among the subset of the dependent poor that fancies themselves the United States Congress.
The poor negotiating skills cultured through handouts to the derelicts masquerading as legislators has made interactions with them as people impossible. By contrast interactions involving economic actors have been more successful with Mexico and Canada seeking to renegotiate NAFTA following Trump following through with restored tariffs on Canadian softwood lumber.
Potential foreign policy trouble looms with the media organs of the pantsuit party discovered a behavioural vulnerability in Trump which they have managed to exploit once so far.
The recent unveiling of Trump's tax reform plan which favors the working poor over the dependent poor and special interests shows a potential turn towards The Great Again. There's no incredible hurry though with 2820 more days remaining of the Trump administration.
Purdue University Bails Out Bezos Bezzle Bungle
Purdue University has acquired the liabilities associated with Kaplan University's online credential issuing programs by paying a single dollar1 to Jeff Bezos' Graham Holdings.2 Purdue is a degree mill sponsored by the government of Indiana and headed by former Indiana governor Mitch Daniels. Information on any personal considerations given to agents allegedly acting on behalf of Purdue University in order to relieve Jeff Bezos balance sheet of this toxic asset while further paying for the fucking is unavailable at this time.
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Formerly known as the Washington Post company ↩
Trump Unveils Plans For Massive Tax Cut Benefiting The Working Poor In US
United States President has begun closing his first hundred days in office by unveiling his tax simplification plan which primarily benefits low to middle income wage earners to much outrage from socialists as it favors the working poor over the dependent poor. Key points of the reform include a doubling of the standard deduction which would help to catch that figure up with the actual inflation of the United States dollar. It means a member of the working poor would have been able to earn up to $12,600 in 2017 before any of their income became taxable.
Trump's tax reform as unveiled also proposes an end to numerous special interest tax deductions targeted to the dependent "makework welfare" class preserving only the deductions for mortgage interest and charitable contributions.
Other assorted reforms include a reduction of personal income tax brackets from 7 to 3. On the business side a reduction of the business tax rate to 15%, and numerous simplifications would offer substantial relief to independent contractors and small business owners.
While these reforms proposed by Trump would offer an improvement to working Americans over what they face now, they are still a far cry from the enlightened tax policy of the sovereign, The Most Serene Republic.
G Inflation Continues In Fiat RF Allocation With Austin, Texas Getting Fifth G
AT&T has announced a "limited rollout" of their new vaporware 5G Evolution network for Samsung Galaxy S8 devices in Austin, Texas soon. The company, which is currently the second-largest mobile services provider in the United States, assures customers that speeds on the network will be "twice as fast" as their current 4G LTE network offerings though the fine print in their press release states that these are “forward-looking statements that are subject to risks and uncertainties, and actual results may differ materially.” The announcement is likely a re-branding of their current 4G offerings created to foster competition with their main competitor Verizon Wireless, which outbid AT&T for a large portion of the 5G wireless spectrum in January. The goal is to have the non-existent network available in 20 metropolitan locations by the end of the year.
"Terror In Their Hearts" Syrian Refugees Settled In North Saint Louis Seek New Refugee Status Due To Neighbourhood Violence
This week Saint Louis radio station KMOX allegedly received a letter from Syrian refugees settled in North Saint Louis which they translated as stating the refugees had "terror in their hearts" following a home invasion. Further allegations per the radio station's aired portions of the translation include:
- The locals who participated in the home invasion expressed interest in abducting their children.
- When they go out in public pictures are taken of their children by the locals.
- They are afraid to leave their home due to the ambient level of violence in the neighborhood.
KMOX radio host Charlie Brennan who presented the allegations in the letter has yet to publish the full letter in a legible venue, but local police dispute details including the fixation on the children as a cultural misunderstanding. The home invasion and extraordinary ambient level of violence however are in line with other reports from the North Saint Louis conflict zone. Brennan proposed resettling now double refugees in Ballwin, Missouri.
The Syrian refugees were resettled in the North Saint Louis conflict zone by the "International Institute of Saint Louis", an immigration and refugee settlement organization aligned with leftist political causes and located in the trendy, hip Tower Grove East neighborhood of Saint Louis City.