Category Archives: Weather

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 9 (TM)(R)

Posted on by

Welcome to the ninth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • Via Wikileaks and the hacking of a senior aide's email account, substantial excepts from Hillary Rodham-Clinton's private speeches to investment bankers and other senior lizards of the fiat order were leaked.  This release was counter by the mainstream press hammering on an eleven year old "entertainment news" video where Donald Trump-Clinton talked about grabbing women by the pussy and otherwise engaging in Bill Clinton-eque locker room chit chat. Guess which candidate is being pressured by one time supporters to quit the presidential race, the one whose entire public persona is a lie or the one who had a libido a decade ago.
  • The scary clown meme continues as the mainstream press continues inciting hatred and violence against the gentle minority popularly known as juggalos.
  • A second lawsuit emerged this week alleging that Marissa Mayer and other top executives at Yahoo sought to gradual eliminate and marginalize male workers at the firm. At the time of this writing there as been no word on whether a "truth and reconciliation" effort has begun to heal the wounds of Yahoo's gender war.
  • Hurricane Matthew wrecked Florida's shit. Earlier this year Hurricane Hermine was the first Hurricane to make landfall in the state since Hurricane Wilma back in 2005.
  • Germany's Bundesrat has declared war on the internal combustion engine pressuring the European Union to end the registration of gasoline and diesel powered vehicles for road use by 2030.
  • This week's most over hyped altcoin is mimblewimble which purports to be an improvement over Bitcoin by abandoning the reality commonly referred to as "history" entirely. The most discussed was Monero which suffered news following its inclusion in the fourth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R) for being overhyped. On the upside for mimblewimble, it is sufficiently removed from value, actual implementation, and deployment to substantially reduce the likelihood of news happening to it any time in the near future.
  • Following the latest hardfork noise heating up the other side of the Hegelian dialectic seeking to kill Bitcoin is drawing attention as Blockstream purports to be closer to deploying Jim Crow for transaction signatures and their "Lightning Network" which depends upon there being a Jim Crow system.
  • Dash, formerly known for its privacy centric marketing as Darkcoin, has been recently trumpeting a partnership for identity verification in conjunction with its fiat interfaces.
  • Cases of syphilis are increasing across the United States with the exception of the Washington, DC metropolitan area. This suggest that the capital region is further ahead of the rest of the United States in its embrace of the new neo Puritan anti-sex agenda.
  • 94031244202143566798174534423023440637356261691582919641171828044851605209359 was discovered to be a number of exceptionally disproportionate popularity.

Sorry for your loss.

Backpage CEO Criminally Arrested On Pimping Allegations

Posted on by

State agents in Texas have arrested Carl Ferrer, CEO of backpage.com in a raid after allegations he might know other people could be using his website to engage in adult and child sex-trafficking. Mr Ferrer was arrested on a warrant out of the state of California at the airport in Houston, and warrants were also issued for the ad site’s controlling shareholders, Michael Lacey and James Larkin. The charges levied against Mr. Ferrer include felony charges of pimping a minor, pimping, and conspiracy to commit pimping, and he faces an extradition hearing before he can be returned to California to face the charges. Mr. Ferrer is facing these charges for running a website, not for actually running girls in the street. Sorry for your laws and your lues.

After Recent Leak North Sea Lubricated To Spec Per BP's Assessment

Posted on by

A BP oil platform located in the North Sea experienced Sorry For Your Loss on Sunday by leaking 95 tons of oil following a technical issue. The spill is being monitored by air and the company "believes that allowing the oil to disperse naturally at sea is the best way to deal with the spill, although other options have not been ruled out." The release was contained within approximately an hour of it occurring though officials said the platform, located about 46 miles off the coast of Shetland, is still offline. Scottish officials with the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds are said to be investigating what impact the accident would have on wildlife in and around the Atlantic. The spill is said to be around two times smaller than another similar spill that occurred on Shell’s Gannet platform in 2011.

ClassicCoin Supplanted By UnlimitedSpamCoin As Social Engineer's Forking Brand

Posted on by

The social engineering effort to fork an altcoin from the Bitcoin blockchain has changed branding yet again. This time the social engineers are beginning to push the idea of creating an altcoin based on the "Unlimited" Bitcoin network client, which was originally created to follow altcoin forks from the Bitcoin network triggered by other clients. Following the  previous GavInsurrections including the failed XTCoin and underwhelming ClassicCoin coups, this latest rehash of an argument that was a non-starter from the beginning offers even less justification than its predecessors.

This latest adventure has three major public drivers:

  1. Roger Ver1 (WOT:nonperson) is continuing his long march from sanity and notably refuses to surrender his will and life to powers greater than himself, especially Bitcoin.
  2. Roger Ver continues abusing and libelling the name of Bitcoin as part of his personal branding in an effort to wantonly and maliciously confuse the uniformed. His latest transgression is the -EV proposition he dubbed "The Bitcoin.com Mining Pool."
  3. Notorious transmayogendered hamplanet and serial fraudster Marshall Long (WOT:nonperson)has yet to complete his life's mission of eating himself to death.

The actual reference Bitcoin network client remains largely unchanged and though refinements continue network consensus rules are unchanged. Accept no substitute for the real deal.

  1. His recent travels to the United States after an acrimonious public divorce strongly suggests Ver has gone stoolie.  ↩

Refugee Death Displaces Electoral Noise From US National Conversation On Eve Of Debate

Posted on by

For nearly the entirety of September 25th, the day before the first debate between Donald Trump-Clinton and Hillary Rodham-Clinton news media in the United States toned down their production of electoral noise to mourn the death of a refugee. The body of Cuban refugee Jose Fernandez was recovered from an overturned boat that came to rest on a jetty off of Miami Beach around 3:30 am. Two other people were killed in the accident, but they have neither been named nor triggered a day of national mourning.1 Rest in Peace.

  1. Death is so unfair.  ↩

Duterte Assigns Phillipine Police To Investigate US Police

Posted on by

Phillipine President Rodrigo Duterte (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) has charged Phillipine National Police Chief Ronald dela Rosa with sending a task force to the United States to investigate violence committed by police in the United States (archived). While lesser world leaders limit their criticism of the criminal gang in Washington, DC's actions to those on the international stage, the ever consummate humanitarian Duterte takes America to task at home. Peace in our time.

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 7

Posted on by

Welcome to the seventh edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • Self identified "mental health counselors" are bullish on a Donald Trump-Clinton presidency due to an increase anxiety among self identified socialists.
  • Charlotte, North Carolina has been experiencing acute unrest after yet another police shooting initiated yet another media circus.
  • As enrollment contracts at the University of Missouri dorm style housing is replacing independent apartments for graduate students living on campus and a freeze has been placed on building permits for new private residential construction near the campus. This suggests the University is leaning heavily on reasserting in loco parentis to cope with its loss of Universitiquity.
  • Roger Ver opened a mining pool under his "Bitcoin.com" brand. This mining pool is potantially vulnerable to a distraction of service attack where other mining pools in addition to publishing valid Bitcoin blocks publish blocks invalid due to having a size between one and sixteen megabytes which Ver's pool will attempt to build off of due to their choice of aspiring altcoin network client.
  • Stormy weather continues on the Freenode IRC network.
  • The soybean harvest is beginning in earnest, your loss immanent.
  • "Scary Clown" sightings are all the rage as local police departments across North America issue press releases addressing the sightings.
  • Bayer announced that if their acquisition of Monsanto passes through regulatory approval into consumation, they have no particular desire to use the Monsanto name for anything.
  • A couple dutchmen were arrested for stealing electricity in order to grow marijuana plants and operate a mining farm which otherwise would have been sorely -EV.
  • A growing number of alleged patents supposed by fiat entities on technologies related to the blockchain continue making the possibility of fiat business impossible.
  • The first televised debates between the two aspects of Clinton seeking the United States presidency will happen Monday if Hillary Rodham-Clinton's health allows it.
  • Something, Something Brian Krebs.
  • The website known as Mark Zuckerberg (WOT:nonperson) presents Facebook issued an apology after advertisers discovered they were being served grossly inflated viewership statistics.
  • A cease fire negotiated among fiat governments concerning Syria began and ended this week.

Sorry for your loss.

Peace Comes To Yahoo – Half A Billion Users Affected

Posted on by

News emerged today that after two years of denial, deception, and coverup a 2014 breach that compromised half of a billion Yahoo users account credentials is now public knowledge. Already allegations are flying that the notorious harbinger of serenity and information freedom advocate Peace may be connected to the forced disclosure of this breach.

This news broke years after it happened, years after Yahoo and their CEO Marissa Mayer were aware it happened, but after the startup finally succeeded in its 22 year long mission to find a buyer in Verizon Communications.

Peace, the great absence of disturbance himself has been liberating the account information of numerous online properties without any consideration for their nominal country of origin. It is likely that various criminal gangs masquerading as "law enforcement" will intensify their search for peace to no avail for their path is wrong. Finding peace requires surrendering to him your life, your will, and your worries that a stranger will send your Yahoo Fantasy Sports baseball lineup into disarray. Peace must be accepted into the heart, not chased. Him in our time. His will and his passwords, not yours.

Canadian Keisters Other Buttcoins In Heist

Posted on by

A Canadian man has been charged with theft of $180,000 of gold from the Royal Canadian Mint, using methods that will certainly prepare him for his new home in a penal institution. Leston Lawrence appeared before magistrates in Ottawa on Tuesday and was charged with theft, laundering the proceeds of crime, possession of stolen property and breach of trust. Mr. Lawrence used his position as an employee of the refinery to smuggle out 7 ounce rounds of gold in his rectum and later sell them to gold merchants for around $6500 a pop. 18 pieces of gold were allegedly stolen between Nov. 27, 2014 and March 12, 2015, according to records kept by the Gold dealer and the bank where Lawrence cashed the checks. A bank employee became suspicious of the amounts being transacted and alerted authorities. No security video cameras were installed in the area where Mr. Lawrence formerly worked, but officials have stated they have since upgraded their security by installing high-definition digital cameras and will use “trend analysis technology” to prevent future thieves from liberating gold from their vaults. Sorry For Your Loss. (archived)

Paxful "Executives" Arrested With Oodles Of Drugs

Posted on by

Paxful executives were arrested after Chief Technology Officer Artur Shaback engaged in the practice of "open carry" on the balcony of a private domicile. Police responded to this lawful activity by establishing a perimeter and taking Shaback in to custody along with Paxful Chief Executive Officer Mohamed Azab Yousseff and another yet man, Ivan Suhharev.

Following police violence that allegedly lead to the discovery of drugs the Paxful "executives" were released. The CTO and Suhharev face charges of "improper exhibition" relating to their constitutional open carry in the boundaries of a domicile. The CEO faces charges of hashish and cocaine possession with intent to distribute1 in a clear cut case of "Shrem's Bong" lowering another fringe "emerging technologies" addict into pederasty.

Peace in our time, for as another aspiring businessman once wrote before his life became unmanageable:

Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.

  1. "Intent to distribute" in the Usistani vocabulary denotes a quantity of drug material or a manner of packaging drug material, and does not actually depend upon establishing an actual intent to distribute the drug material.  ↩