Airstrip One: Queen's Newest Capital Ship Struggling With Water

Britain's newest capital ship, the 3.1 billion once sterling pound helicopter carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth had to return to port after taking on roughly a quarter million liters of water and putting three crew members into mortal peril (archived). The ship was undergoing sea trials when a pipe carrying sea water burst leading to flooding and accompanying bucking, bending, and splitting damage to the ship. This is the third confirmed time that the sea has breached HMS Queen Elizabeth during her short life. Lacking catapults and arrestors for launching and landing traditional fixed wing aircraft, the ship is expected to carry a mix of the 'B' V/STOL variant of the beleaguered F-35 fighter and a complement of helicopters should the boat survive to reach initial operational capacity in 2021.

Germany Defies US Order To Send Wehrmacht To Syria

As the slow US withdrawal of troops from Syria continues to take shape, Germany has defied US orders to deploy the Wehrmacht to Syria and continue the ambiguous mission undertaken by US meddlers (archived). In the early years of the Hussein Bahamas administration insisted there would be no US ground troops in Syria, but after his re-election the ongoing accumulation of US materiel and personnel changed the dialogue to "Of course there are US troops in Syria" without any dialogue on whether there should be. Democratically elected US president Donald Trump has tried several times to withdraw the US from Syria, but folded against pressure from his subordinates and European allies including the French Despot Macron. They all insist "regime change" in Syria is still a viable and worthy purpose to pursue despite democratically elected Syrian President Assad's hold on power appearing firmer than ever.

Pantsuit Sex: Epstein Arrested For Child Trafficking, Norwegian Fish Minister Arrested For Buggering Trafficked Migrants In Asylum Quid Pro Quo

Clinton family friend and New York Pantsuit networker Jeffery Epstein was arrested overnight for allegedly trafficking several dozen pre-teen and early teen girls through his residences in New York and Palm Beach, Florida between the years 2002 and 2005 (archived). The indictments will supposedly be unsealed tomorrow. In the interim, rumours and inuendo carry word Epstein will face a single count each of "sex trafficking of minors" and "conspiracy to engage in sex trafficking of minors" with the case being prosecuted by Southern District of New York's pompously titled "Public Corruption Unit" providing ample fuel for conspiracies on how far this investigation will either go or not go.

In a related case out of Norway, a former Minister of Fisheries was sentenced to 5 years imprisonment late last week for offering three young trafficked men the chance to receive favorable asylumn rulings in exchange for letting him have his way with them while he was a sitting county governor. The 25 to 34 year old men in question appear to have retained their physical presence in Norway as promised.

British Navy Returns To Piracy With Seizure Of Iranian Oil Tanker, Iran Points Out Their Obligation To Retaliate In Kind

British Marines near Gibraltar seized a ship allegedly carrying Iranian oil to Syrian (archived). The Brits are defending their theft as an act of "EU sanctions enforcement" despite Marines capturing a foreign vessel in transit from a nation outside the EU to another nation outside the EU, while the thieves themselves are Brexiting anyways.

Iran responded by summoning their British ambassador to explain that in the international law texts Iran has read, the EU sanctions against Syria are not only illegal and further Iran wouldn't have to recognize the sanctions even if they were "legal" through some twisted confusion of terms.

Thusly Major General Mohsen Rezaee of Iran's Revolutionary guard announced to the world that Iran has a duty to capture a British tanker ship.1


  1. Should Britain actually have any oil tankers.  

Intel Goes On Media Push For "New Interpretations" Of Moore's Law

As Intel is mired a mess wrought by more than two decades of "optimizations" that weren't, the firm is making of marketing push for a new interpretations and reimaginings of Moore's law reflecting the compound sadness since their 2016 resignation to produce slower future chips in the name of "energy efficiency" (archived).

Intel has been stuck producing all but a few chips on the 14 nm lithograpy process they started shipping in 2014, while all of their major competitors including Huawei, Samsung, and TMSC are shipping 7nm chips and enjoying a two generation lead in process nodes. In the PC and server markets, Intel has conceded the performance lead to AMD while the performance of existing Intel processors falls due to ongoing patches mitigating the "optimizations" which once gave Intel the "speed" crown.

Trump Goes To North Korea, Press Secretary Injured When Reporters Aggressed Security

This weekend US President Donald Trump met his Korean counterpart Kim Jong Un on the North Korean side of the DMZ in a historic first for the US's only improving diplomatic relationship (archived). The meeting however was marred by the western press aggressing on North Korean security in an attempt to enter a space they were barred from. During the violence Trump's new press secretary Stephanie Grisham was left bruised.

FedEx Sues FedGov Over Export Control Burdens

FedEx has sued the US Department of Commerce and Madame Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross over the impossibility of complying with the full extent of USG export control regulations. In the filing FedEx swears that they have a sophisticated system for checking sender and recipient identities against the USG's restricted entity list, but that determining whether any particular item entrusted to them as a common carrier is export controlled presents an excessive burden such that effective checks would require them to discard any pretense of customer privacy while forcing them to violate other laws in the process.

FedEx further laments that in other contexts common carriers enjoy protection from liability with respect to the contents of the package they are conveying, but not in this case. Either FedEx implements a regime of intensive package inspection trying to comply with US export controls and in the process breaks numerous other laws in their global area of operations, or they perpetually sit exposed to liability if the USG catches something going through under their care in violation of US export controls. Thusly, FedEx seeks relief under the Fifth Amendment of the US Constitution, because these burdens were placed upon them without due process. The full filing is below: Continue reading

Week In Review: Iran's "Come At Me Bro" Posture Exposing USG Empire's Impotence

This week has seen tensions between the US and Iran escalate to the brink of a shooting war with a 100+ million USD drone's obliteration following its violation of Iran's airspace. The shootdown was followed by several hours of drama over whether or not the USG would answer Iran's act of border defense with retaliatory airstrikes. While the details of the process remain unclear, US President Donald Trump decided not to strike in defiance of staff of career USG national security advisors (archived). Instead, sometime tomorrow new sanctions and an escalation of the USG's economic war against Iran will be announced raising tensions still higher.

After the USG's embarrassing regime change miss in Venezuela, it is clear that the USG has never been weaker or less influential on the international stage since William Henry Seward nearly provoked Europe to end the US as Abraham Lincoln's Madame Secretary of State. With US warfighters wrecked in the aftermath of their own color revolution, the US Department of "Defense" briefly published a document outlining a hypothetical doctrine suggesting the US could achieve "strategic rebalance" by winning a nuclear war (archived).

And so the USG empire enters this next week with the a serious dilemma. Earlier this year their intelligence apparatus failed to buy regime change in Venezuela. A very sophisticated drone that was supposed to enjoy protection from airdefense missiles through its high flight altitude was taken down by an airdefense missile. What can the USG possibly do that demonstrates anything other than the empire's increasing impotence?

Oregon Government In Chaos As Minority Party Boycotts Pantsuit Legislation

In Oregon, GOP lawmakers are boycotting the state legislature and bringing the local government to a standstill in order to halt the advance of bills promoting "weather instability" related capture of the economy and other Pantsuit goals (archived, archived). Members of Clinton's politcal syndicate currently hold supermajorities in both legislative chambers as well as Oregon's governorship leaving the rebel lawmakers the choice to either watch all of Pantsuit's evil hit at once or to deny them a legislative quorum shutting the shitshow down.

Further inflaming the drama, Oregon State Police squawked about "security concerns" providing a convenient pretext for canceling today's legislative session as local militia groups are apparently descending on the Capitol (archived).