Category Archives: Scams

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend Sex Teens Edition (TM)(R) – Fake News Becomes Meme

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Welcome to the sex teens edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • Fidel Castro, the scion of a sugar industry fortune, has died of complications related to being 90 years old. Fidel leveraged his priviledged beginnings into a decades long reign as supreme leader of Cuba. As leader of Cuba Fidel was literally the Grinch, as he cancelled Christmas celebrations on the island for the 29 years between 1969 and 1998. After transferring supreme leadership of the island to his brother, Fidel lived long enough to see United States president Hussein Bahamas surrender to Cuba ending the Cold War.
  • Wildfires ravaged much of the northern and central portions of Israel. 23 have been detained on suspicion of arson.
  • The Green Party in the United States has been raising substantial sums this week under the guise of using it to petition for a ballot recount in the country's recent Presidential election. Jill Stein and the Green Party have raised more than 5 million United States dollars for the effort so far. Stein and the Green Party's presidential campaign only raised 3.51 million US dollars for their presidential campaign. Every time they have approached their fundraising goal they have raised it, under the guise of "expected costs", from an initial 2.5 million dollars to 7 million.
  • Various socialist "idea people" are all supposing that members of the Electoral College deliver the United States presidency to someone other than the President Elect.Various appeals are being made to the popular vote, interview out take footage, and the questionable bits of constitutional trivia though the leading sobbing plea against their fellow Americans at the moment still appears to be "muh feels". The Electoral college convenes in each of the 50 state capitols on December 19th.
  • On January 6th the newly elected GOP dominated House of Representatives gets to review the decision of the electoral college. The house may confer with the senate to reject the electoral votes of any state. Congress stripped Arkansas and Louisiana of their electoral votes in the 1872 presidential contest.
  • The Bill Gates (WoT:nonperson) and Mark Zuckerburg (WoT:nonperson) funded Bridge International Academies in Uganda have been ordered to close for sanitary as well as life and safety violations.
  • CNN did not show 30 minutes of pornography to Boston area cable subscribers, but this did not stop CNN from "admitting" that they did show the imaginary pornography.
  • The R3 consortium is losing member banks now that the time for paying dues is coming around. One could say they have a Mike Hearnia. The consortium is also sending cease and desist letters to critics suggesting there is existing prior art against R3's fiat patent applications for various inventions. No applications for patent nor declarations of invention have been filed by any representative of R3 thus far in the only jurisdiction that matters.
  • This weeks most under discussed altcoin is ModiCash, the failed rupee hardfork Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi advanced which would have rendered 86% of circulating Indian currency invalid. The rules of the program, which are changing several times a day, allow Indians a limited window to exchange their rupees for fully validated ModiBucks. The move has been framed as an effort to combat tax evasion and graft but is turning into an astounding opportunity to profit from tax evasion and graft. One point two billion times, Sorry for your loss.
  • Fake news is becoming the meme of the US Democratic Party's loss. Having failed to find the serenity necessary to accept the will of their fellow Americans after having imposed 8 years of Hussein Bahamas, the lefter American left1 ranked all of the scapegoats they could lean on to scapegoat rather than accept their loss. Their list read Rednecks, Russians, and "Russian" fake news. With fears that the rednecks could beat them up, "Fake news" is their enemy number 1. "Fake news" to them means any outlet that wasn't certain Hillary had the election won, for the right reasons, all of they way from April through November 8th.

"Teen horniness is not a crime" – Krista Now

  1. As opposed to the Greater Again American left.  ↩

"Consensus Flaw" – Ether Huffers Plead For Trading Halt After Latest Fork

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Ethereum SolidCoin clients geth and parity fell out of consensus following changes introduced in their most recent planned hardfork which was supposed to "fix" "problems with the troubled platform. This has project developer Buterin RealSolid to petition exchanges to halt trading on Ethereum SolidCoin markets. At some point in the future Ethereum SolidCoin intends to switch to proof of Stake mining which is sure to "fix" still more "problems" with the platform.

Sorry for your loss, but one word. Innovation:

SolidCoin: Ready for Bitcoin collapse1
Bitcoin has been in the news again recently, with fresh implications of FBI involvement in Bitcoin development . What would government involvement in Bitcoin look like? Well one of their first goals would be to let the project stagnate. The disappearance of the founder "Satoshi" and appointment of Gavin Andresen, someone who has publicly admitted he doesn't want much to change in Bitcoin allows us to see one big reason for stagnation.

After developing numerous sites and businesses using Bitcoin, those of us now involved with SolidCoin saw major problems. Massive flaws in interfacing with the Bitcoin network forced us to use numerous work-arounds, using nearly all of our decades long experience as computer scientists. We wondered why nobody fixed the issues and made things easier for the many out there that aren't computer engineers. After some discussion with a few of the developers we came away completely surprised. They thought, and still do, Bitcoin is fine and very little needs to change.

We have seen that there are problems with Bitcoin, recent incidents like MyBitcoin losing over $1,500,000 million dollars and Bitomat losing around $220,000 highlight the fact there are problems with Bitcoin. Less than 3 months ago the biggest Bitcoin exchange, MtGox was also hacked causing Bitcoin's value to collapse.

All of these incidents are caused by the poor developer tools given to people and a lack of education about the Bitcoin system. This leads back to the leaders of Bitcoin and their motivations. The lead developer Gavin Andreson recently said he could see banks around the world running the Bitcoin network. He is quoted as saying "I think its hard to imagine Bank of America will be THE [only] Bitcoin processor. Maybe it will be Bank of America and some bank in the UK and some bank in Asia and some bank in Africa . Isn't it interesting that a currency born out of a desire for decentralization is being led back to the existing banking industry?

On top of this the recent release of SolidCoin has highlighted another problem in the Bitcoin protocol. It it susceptible to a drop off in "mining power", which is essentially the people who process transactions switching to more profitable things such as SolidCoin. Three variants of Bitcoin, NameCoin, IXCoin and I0Coin have *ALL* failed due to this flaw. SolidCoin, featuring improved algorithms is safe from these attacks, and IXCoin and I0Coin have recently been re-released featuring SolidCoin's algorithm. Bitcoin can still collapse from this flaw in its protocol, which means if you have any significant amount invested in Bitcoin it is possible your Bitcoins may be frozen and unable to be moved for days or even weeks.

SolidCoin's popularity which is based around being a faster and more secure alternative to Bitcoin has seen it take away 11% of the Bitcoin network power. How much network power would need to be taken away from Bitcoin before it will collapse? In the NameCoin, IXCoin and I0Coin examples, the network began to collapse roughly when a quarter of the network power started to disappear. At that point it quickly escalated to a point where about 10% of the peak power remained and transactions took many days to be confirmed, in some cases they never were.

Bitcoin is currently the #1 crypto currency. If network power in Bitcoin is being taken away by a faster, more secure and more profitable alternative like SolidCoin then people will notice their transactions taking days to complete, it will not be long before people switch their holdings to the better network. This will have a domino effect where people will be cashing out of Bitcoin like crazy whilst it still has value, essentially a bank run.

So at this point if you have a lot invested in Bitcoin you will either be angry or scared about what you have read. Know one thing though, the developers of SolidCoin have a plan for the future which does not include governments, that does not include the banking system or the wealthy elite behind the curtains. We have a plan to empower *YOU*. We want everyone to be their own bank, we want everyone to have the possibility to free themselves from the system of economic slavery that currently exists. So how are we going to do that?

One word. Innovation. We have started by improving upon the Bitcoin client and giving the world a better network implementation for cryptocurrencies, not only to make them more secure, but to make them faster and more reliable for businesses and users. Furthermore we want to create a new industry we call a "decentralized banking system". We will be helping thousands of people around the world to become mini banks to help the movement of fiat currency into and out of the SolidCoin economy.

If you want to register your interest in becoming part of this decentralized banking system please join our forum and tell us, people first in will be first considered. In the meantime, you may want to look at ways of investing in SolidCoins while it is still in it's infancy. Hopefully the wealth you earn will be used wisely to help the world become a better place.

  1. Oh, my. Where were you in 2011?  ↩

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 15 (TM)(R) – Pence In Our Time

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Welcome to the fifteenth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • The United States President Elect has begun selecting personnel for appointed positions in the Trumpreich. The exodus of even unexpired appointees of the lame duck Hussein Bahamas regime means there are a substantial number of jobs to be filled. The application for appointments to the Trumpreich is available through GreatAgain.gov
  • The domain change.gov no longer resolves.
  • In a development of no surprise the US IRS has publicly requested all transaction records from Coinbase for the years 2013 through 2015 in order to check for compliance with fiat tax laws. Sorry for our complete lack of surprise.
  • Two notable persons made a bet.
  • Wailing, gnashing, and failure to accept the world as it is continues among the mainstream socialist media.
  • Wailing, gnashing, and failure to accept the world as it is continues among urban crowds in the United States as samples collected via arrest indicate 30 to 50 percent of the protesters did not care enough to vote.
  • A recent poll shows only 27 percent of Americans surveyed believe their personal finances would improve under Trumpreich, but an even more dismal 19% believed they would have benefited financially from a Clitler regime.
  • Trends on fiat/Bitcoin interfaces continue to show bull, but it would still be unsurprising if they gave up on their fiction1 and began reporting magenta, dove gray, or old hot dog as their exchange rate.
  • The cast and audience at a performance of the musical "Hamilton" shamed and booed Vice President Elect Mike Pence for deigning to watch their fruity paean to one of the most destructive men in American history.

Pence in our time.

  1. The one where the fiat US dollar is worth even 1/10,000th of a Bitcoin just as Hillary was 85+% likely winrar.  ↩

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 13 (TM)(R)

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Welcome to the thirteenth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • After 108 years the Chicago Cubs won the World Series1 against the Cleveland Indians.
  • CNN fired contributor and interim Democratic party chair Donna Brazile for leaking debate questions to the Hillary Rodham-Clinton campaign.
  • Rumours of China banning Bitcoin tempered the recent bull run reported by fiat/Bitcoin interfaces though after settling it still requires ~711 United States dollars to acquire a whole Bitcoin via this route.
  • Enthusiasm for the Zcash/Z-Cash/ZNC altcoin has already faded as scheduled. Who knew it would only take another week of mining subsidies hitting the market to crash the price?
  • Donald Trump-Clinton was rushed off the campaign stage in Reno, Nevada by the Secret Service.
  • Playboy Playmate Dani Mathers faces charges relating to a "body shaming" incident.
  • The University of Missouri Football team lost their 11th consecutive game in conference play. The team is now set to lose every game in their conference for the first time since 1971. This follow the University surrendering to a strike by the football team last year.

Sorry for your loss.

  1. Despite the name this is not an international contest. In the last World Baseball Classic, an actual international contest, the Dominican Republic won while the United States was eliminated by Puerto Rice, an island it occupies.  ↩

Mainstream Media: Clinton Emails Already "Baked In" To Polls

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On this day, the ninth day before the United States presidential election, the talking heads of the United States mainstream media-political complex are in concert adopting a single position on the damage from the latest revelation of Clinton Criminality. Apparently the political damage to Hillary Rodham-Clinton from this latest news is already "baked in" to Hillary Rodham-Clinton's polling numbers, and this damage has been for some amount of time, perhaps even since the beginning of time itself.

This "baked in" theory spontaneously emerged among several dozen "independent" mainstream talking heads simultaneously. Naturally there is *no way* that this introduction of the "baked in" line could have been coordinated.

Buttfinex Just Hemorrhoiding Out Lols Now

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In our last installment of Buttfinex sorry for your loss Qntra reported that the beleaguered exchange was announcing a new token designed to help compensate customers for their loss. Now Bitfinex has announced they will phase out the original token and convert it into a new token called "Recovery Rights Token (RRT)". Combined with their revamped security model with advice from Ledger Labs "hosted completely on AWS" and a IDS, Bitfinex hopes that they can continue to perpetuate their scam for years to come.

Nigerian Students Scammed By Alabama State University

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A group of 37 international students from Nigeria are suing Alabama State University over the school's practice of withholding scholarship funds sent by the Nigerian government for their benefit (archived). In their defense, the school alleges a mysterious official from the Nigerian government directed them not to disburse the remaining balance of the scholarships after tuition and required fees to the students. Per the conditions attached to the scholarships these funds were to be directed to the students so that they could pay their expenses incurred which are not billed by the university. The extent to which Alabama State managed to keep these students from accessing their scholarship funds however kept students from even paying tuition to take classes at the university during the summer term, because of instructions the University alleges it received from the mystery government official. The school further alleges the instructions directed returning surplus funds to a "Nigerian Government account." Sorry for your loss.

California Plans Anti-Cattle Legislation

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California lawmakers are targeting cows in their latest front on "Global Warming". Democratic Senator Ricardo Lara, author of the legislation, blames bovine flatulence and manure for producing copious amounts of methane emissions and seeks to send current levels to 40 percent below their 2013 levels by the year 2030. Senate Republicans mostly opposed the measure, which passed near the end of the legislative session Wednesday in Sacramento, claiming it will harm local dairy businesses and cause increased milk prices.

Update On Some Forking Losers

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The latest attempt to organize a fork of the Bitcoin blockchain organized on the subreddit /r/btcfork is still underwhelming. The closest thing to an actual name attached to the project is that of noted hamplanet "community organizer" Marshall Long (WOT:nonperson) of GAW Miners and ClassicCoin infamy. The apparent mechanism for triggering their fork is now by setting a "flag day" as trigger mechanisms that require actual indicators of support are too much for them. This fork is setting itself up to be exactly Paycoin 2.0 with the addition of more economic failure modes inherent in being a Bitcoin hard fork. Can you smell what your loss is cooking?

Bitfinex Partners Up For Your Loss

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Admitting defeat in all their attempts to use actual Bitcoin, Bitfinex announced on their blog yesterday they have decided to resort to more fractional reserve tricks and have hired BnkToTheFuture1 to assist them in their efforts to compensate customers for their socialized losses due to the devastating hack that occurred earlier this month. The announcement stated that BnkToTheFuture "will be providing a Special Purpose Vehicle (SPV) through which qualifying BFX token holders can contribute their tokens in exchange for an equity interest in compliance with their individual jurisdictions". BnkToTheFuture received over USD $70 million in investments from other pretend Bitcoin services such as ShapeShit.io and Uphold. Bitfinex said customers could learn more about this new type of suppository on the BnkToTheFuture blog (archived). Sorry for your loss.

  1. Also spelled "BitcoinBuilderMtGoxCoin Market" ↩