Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend: BTU Breakage Heat, Zcash Instamine Lulz, And More

The "Bitcoin Unlimited" development team will be releasing their token, $BTU, on April Fool's day of this year in what will surely be hailed as one of the most fitting release dates for a team ever. Unlimited node count dropped significantly this week after the discovery of a remote crash vulnerability. Core developer Greg Maxwell stated on reddit earlier this week that “There are vulnerabilities in Unlimited which have been privately reported to you in Unlimited by Bitcoin Core folks which you have not acted on, sadly. More severe than this one, in fact.” which should ensure a steady supply of lulz in the weeks to come.

Zcash's Zooko, deciding his coin doesn't have a scammy enough image, announced this week the formation of `The Zcash foundation` which will supposedly "promote a healthy and diverse zcash community" Zooko stated he will fund the foundation with half of his "founders reward" instamine, the total amounting to 273,000 coins currently worth $13 million USD at current trade prices. Matthew Green, assistant professor of computer science at Johns Hopkins University, is reputed to be one of the foundation members, which the group hopes will add an air of legitimacy to the scheme.

A new type of ransomware, dubbed "Kirk", has surfaced in various corners of the internet demanding payment via Monero instead of Bitcoin.

Never missing an opportunity to hard fork their flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit, the Ethereum development team announced that their latest fork, codenamed "Metropolis" is now back on their roadmap after being forced to postpone the "improvements" due to The DAO hack

Amazon Rolls Out An Index Librorum Prohibitorum

Trump's chief strategist Steve Bannon recently compared the ongoing controlled demolition of Europe by marauding orc hordes to a scenario portrayed in an obscure novel, The Camp of the Saints (1973) by Jean Raspail.

The response by Amazon, the world's foremost peddler of DRM-laden electronic chumpware "books" was swift, merciless, and mindblowingly "original" : let's ban some books! And so if you want to obtain a copy of The Camp of the Saints from Amazon, you will now have to settle for a $2,000 collectible edition, because the Kindle chumpware item has vanished, having been made "…unavailable because there are significant quality issues with the source file supplied by the publisher. The publisher has been notified and we will make the book available as soon as we receive a corrected file."

Similar "quality control" problems have immediately cropped up in another alleged Bannon favourite, Julias Evola's Revolt Against the Modern World. And it turns out that Hitler's mega-bestseller Mein Kampf has also sprouted some sudden bit rot.

Peace in our time.

"Bitcoin" (Altcoin) Unlimited Experiences Drop In Node Count Due To Remote Crash Vulnerability

The "Bitcoin Unlimited" node count experienced a very sharp ~65% drop around 7:30 PM UTC as a remote-crash vulnerability was made public on Twitter. The node count, as reported by coin.dance, fell to 259 from a previous measurement of 764 moments earlier.

The actual vulnerability is a result of the ineptitude of the "Bitcoin Unlimited" developers to incorrectly implement the usual "monkey see, monkey do" approach to software, by messing up the copy-pasting of power-rangerolade.

Peter Todd's straight Twitter disclosure was made in a context of heightened tensions among the two main flavors of idiocy, namely the SegWit peddlers and the Roger Verified "Bitcoin Unlimited" followers.

9th Circuit Refuses To Reject Order Staying Trump Executive Action

The 9th Circuit Court of appeals in San Francisco refused to lift an order by activist James Robart in Washington State which supposedly prevents the enforcement of a 90-day restriction on certain entries into the United States. The decision, which does not constitute a ruling on Trump's executive action and its constitutionality, includes the supposing that:

In short, although courts owe considerable deference to the President’s policy determinations with respect to immigration and national security, it is beyond question that the federal judiciary retains the authority to adjudicate constitutional challenges to executive action

In a flurry of activity, the mainstream fake news media is thus far misrepresenting this decision as coming against Trump's executive action itself at a rate of approximately 75% in a quick survey of headlines.

Hussein Bahamas Era NOAA Implicated In Fraud Preceding Paris Talks

Today revelations by a whistle blower within the US National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration demonstrated that a key paper produced by the agency under the Hussein Bahamas administration which served as "motivation" during recent negotiations in Paris was plagued by fraudulent manipulation of facts (archived). The bogeyman of "climate change" has been held up by socialists of all flavors as a scourge demanding statal control of energy production and expenditures as an only supposed remedy.

Vessenes Gox Drama Continues

Peter Vessenes (WOT:nonperson) of the failed Vessenes' Phoundation and failed start up Coinlab continues to stir the drama pot as he holds out hope that a court just might award him a portion of the insolvent Gox's corpse. Such a move would naturally represent the first, last, and best revenue received by Vessenes venture which promised much and delivered nothing.

Tim Draper: Theranos Targeted By "Conspiracy"

Sometime United States Marshal's service auction winner and self described "venture capitalist" Tim Draper is alleging that his pet investment Theranos is the victim of a conspiracy. Headed by Elizabeth Holmes and attracting investors like Henry Kissenger, surgeon and former US Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist and further having incoming US Secretary of Defense James 'Mad Dog' Mattis having served on the board, Theranos must in Draper's mind have been the target of an organized conspiracy instead of the victim of its own fraud and incompetence. Sorry for your loss.

Wife Of Orlando Shooter Omar Mateen Arrested

The wife of the late gay Islamic terrorist Omar Mateen was arrested today on charges of obstructing the FBI's investigation of the massacre as well as providing material support to the massacre effort. For the purpose of charging the widow, Noor Salman, poviding material support consists of having been present when the bullets were bought and having shared a motor vehicle with her late husband at a time when it passed the eventual site of the massacre.

Mateen's estate had previously been victimized by a Bill of Attainder filed against the alias Syed Farook which prevents life insurance policies payable against Mateen from paying to the policies' contractually designated beneficiaries. The widow robbed of her estate has now been officially designated a villain as Hussein Bahamas continues mounting a rearguard action to overwhelm the incoming President elect.

The Fourth Reich Grips Berlin

The definition of that kind of large scale theft called extraction goes something like,

A bunch of foreigners land on your shores, buy up some local chiefs, chop down your forests, rip the minerals out of your soil, enslave a few generations, and eventually go home, leaving their bastards in charge.

Such has been the sad fate of Germany for the past seventy years. The bastards are fully in charge, and the dormitory states occupying the historical territory of the Eastern Franks have been relentlessly producing — at the behest of their foreign masters and to benefit their foreign master's experimental curiosities — generation after generation of confused young men and women. Sad, shambling abominations bereft of anything substantial, their identity — cultural, political or personal — entirely not their own nor of their own making but instead the product of research in the exact sense of the term contemplated by Mengele.

With the withdrawal of US socialism from most of the world forced on by their self-inflicted economic collapse comes a very acute dilemma for most of the old colonies. Clearly, the socio-economic model predicated on extraction for the benefit of Washington and Washington alone can not continue in Germany. What, then is to be done ?

Will the great-grandchildren of the erstwhile bastards withdraw with the tide ? Will they go back home ? Oh, but they can't do that, there isn't enough food at home to satisfy the local important nobodies, precious snowflakes native to the capitol. Any scraps for the trough of distant cadet branches from the provinces are entirely out of the question.

Or have the great-grandchildren of the erstwhile bastards meanwhile sucked enough blood and sap so as to have turned into men and women, ready to stand on their own two feet and face what may come, whatever it may be ? Such wonder lays far past extreme absurdity — a human embryo, fed properly will over time result in a man or a woman, it is true, but no amount of blood allowed ticks, leeches or mosquitoes will produce as much as a goat, let alone a human being. The bastards don't have humanity in their genes, and so no, they haven't turned into anything. They'll be forever what they always were — if you're willing to believe it's good and right and proper all the better, and if not they'll call you names, but that's as far as it goes. No frog ever became a prince, whoever may have kissed it for as long as they cared to.

Once we've eliminated the impossible, whatever left, however improbable, must be the truth. So it is here : the bastards in control of Germany, taking as truth a ridiculous decoction of nonsense simply because they read it in Maryland's Volkischer Beobachter — which, to them, is what truth is and how truth comes — gathered together, casting aside any pretense of "parties" or "competition" and in one voice declared : should anyone make inconvenient truth known, they all to the last one agree to never mention this! Because yes, their duty, not to a history that isn't theirs, not to an identity they do not partake in, not to a German people they are imposed upon instead of coming from, their duty is to themselves and themselves alone : to make any flight of fancy anyone may print in Maryland a fact in Germany, a fact for Germany.

The cat is out of the bag : not German, not in any sense nor to any degree ; not even interested in fact and truth but fully dedicated to shared hallucination and collective flight of fancy. Should "Putin" and "hacks" expose inconvenient facts about any of the "competitors" in Germany's "electoral" contest, all the others fully agree and solemnly promise not to use it! Because yes, denying truth a platform is a working strategy and a workable approach to survival — they've read it, after all, in the same Beobachter they read everything else they believe and hold dear.

Will the German public stand for it ?