The favored altcoin exchange of ether huffers, Poloniex has been forced to abandon its customers in New Hampshire. This follows alleged tightening in the regulatory environment fiat respecting organizations like Poloniex submit themselves to suffering. New Hampshire has been targeted by hippies posing as Libertarian activists to little actual effect. Sorry for your loss.
Category Archives: News
Canadian Keisters Other Buttcoins In Heist
A Canadian man has been charged with theft of $180,000 of gold from the Royal Canadian Mint, using methods that will certainly prepare him for his new home in a penal institution. Leston Lawrence appeared before magistrates in Ottawa on Tuesday and was charged with theft, laundering the proceeds of crime, possession of stolen property and breach of trust. Mr. Lawrence used his position as an employee of the refinery to smuggle out 7 ounce rounds of gold in his rectum and later sell them to gold merchants for around $6500 a pop. 18 pieces of gold were allegedly stolen between Nov. 27, 2014 and March 12, 2015, according to records kept by the Gold dealer and the bank where Lawrence cashed the checks. A bank employee became suspicious of the amounts being transacted and alerted authorities. No security video cameras were installed in the area where Mr. Lawrence formerly worked, but officials have stated they have since upgraded their security by installing high-definition digital cameras and will use “trend analysis technology” to prevent future thieves from liberating gold from their vaults. Sorry For Your Loss. (archived)
Buttfinex Just Hemorrhoiding Out Lols Now
In our last installment of Buttfinex sorry for your loss Qntra reported that the beleaguered exchange was announcing a new token designed to help compensate customers for their loss. Now Bitfinex has announced they will phase out the original token and convert it into a new token called "Recovery Rights Token (RRT)". Combined with their revamped security model with advice from Ledger Labs "hosted completely on AWS" and a IDS, Bitfinex hopes that they can continue to perpetuate their scam for years to come.
Random Idiot Accepts People's Time And Work, Idiot Turns Around And Sells It For Politics
Kiwi social engineer Leah Rowe (WOT:nonperson) during a recent tantrum brought attention to the problematic structure of the open source "Libreboot" project. For its entire history Libreboot consisted of a forked repository of another open source project to which Rowe added still other people's patches under Rowe's name rather than the actual authors' (archived). The catalyst which brought this problem to the fore was a political statement made by Rowe using the name "Libreboot" without consulting the actual authors of Libreboot code. These authors who had not particularly cared that Rowe took their names from their code however decided that they definitely did not want Rowe's political tantrums to be misconstrued as their own.
Datskovskiy Cures Abandoned Sage SmartProbe
Today Saint Stanislav Datskovskiy (WOT:asciilifeform) published a cure that can render the abandonware Sage SmartProbe functional in spite of firmware induced usage limitations.
Nigerian Students Scammed By Alabama State University
A group of 37 international students from Nigeria are suing Alabama State University over the school's practice of withholding scholarship funds sent by the Nigerian government for their benefit (archived). In their defense, the school alleges a mysterious official from the Nigerian government directed them not to disburse the remaining balance of the scholarships after tuition and required fees to the students. Per the conditions attached to the scholarships these funds were to be directed to the students so that they could pay their expenses incurred which are not billed by the university. The extent to which Alabama State managed to keep these students from accessing their scholarship funds however kept students from even paying tuition to take classes at the university during the summer term, because of instructions the University alleges it received from the mystery government official. The school further alleges the instructions directed returning surplus funds to a "Nigerian Government account." Sorry for your loss.
NJ Hamplanet Chris Christie's Own Lawyer Calls Him A Liar
New Jersey hamplanet and alleged governor Chris Christie's own lawyer asserted his own client was a liar. The trial concerns allegations of wrongdoing connected to a local scandal of trivial importance. Christie is notable for scuttling his own campaign for the United States presidency in order to sabotage his own party's candidates in support of Donald Trump-Clinton's campaign and eating himself into a genderless anatomical state. Sorry for your laws.
Paxful "Executives" Arrested With Oodles Of Drugs
Paxful executives were arrested after Chief Technology Officer Artur Shaback engaged in the practice of "open carry" on the balcony of a private domicile. Police responded to this lawful activity by establishing a perimeter and taking Shaback in to custody along with Paxful Chief Executive Officer Mohamed Azab Yousseff and another yet man, Ivan Suhharev.
Following police violence that allegedly lead to the discovery of drugs the Paxful "executives" were released. The CTO and Suhharev face charges of "improper exhibition" relating to their constitutional open carry in the boundaries of a domicile. The CEO faces charges of hashish and cocaine possession with intent to distribute1 in a clear cut case of "Shrem's Bong" lowering another fringe "emerging technologies" addict into pederasty.
Peace in our time, for as another aspiring businessman once wrote before his life became unmanageable:
Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.
"Intent to distribute" in the Usistani vocabulary denotes a quantity of drug material or a manner of packaging drug material, and does not actually depend upon establishing an actual intent to distribute the drug material. ↩
Bombs Explode In New Jersey And Manhattan
A bomb exploded in a trash can near a United States Marine Corps charity race, and several hours later another bomb apparently exploded in the Manhattan neighborhood of Chelsea. No injuries were reported during the New Jersey explosion, and 29 injuries were reported in the Manhattan explosion. No further information is available at the moment. Peace in our time.
Japanese Virginity Reaches Crisis Levels
The Japan Times reports that nearly half of unmarried adult Japanese men and women are virgins. Decades of social "reforms" have left the Japanese population docile to the point sex outside a marital contract rarely happens, and Japan's low birthrate suggests that even marital contracts to little to promote sex among those residents of Japan who managed to lose their virginity.
A similar though less developed trend of sexlessness is beginning to emerge in the young adult population in the United States, though rampant transmayogenderism complicates comparisons by as many young Americans can be visually identified as sexually defective from a distance. Japan's increase in obesity lags their growing sexlessness while American sexlessness lags their increasing obesity. The failure of the fundamental biological drive to "make baby" suggest deep defects at the societal and personal level in both cases.
Peace (by attrition) in our time.