Alleged Orlando Shooter's Father Seated Behind Hillary At Rally

Alleged Orlando shooter Omar Mateen's (WOT:nonperson) father was prominently seated behind Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) at a political rally in Kissimmee, Florida. Omar Matteen's father Seddique Mir Mateen (WOT:nonperson) left Afghanistan in the 1970's and has for years produced a number of videos where he claims the title "Revolutionary President of Afghanistan." There has been no mention in the mainstream media about how Hillary's ties to an insurgent leader may affect her relationship as president with the presently US backed government of Ashraf Ghani (WOT:nonperson) in Afghanistan.

Former Illinois Governor Loses Convictions But Keeps Prison Sentence

Former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich (WOT:nonperson) was cleared on 5 of the 18 charges he was convicted of though his 14 year prison sentence was maintained in full during a re-sentencing hearing today. Blagojevich was the Governor of Illinois and the de facto head of the Democratic party in that state when Hussein Bahamas was allowed to move from the Illinois State Senate to the United States Senate and eventually the United States Presidency.

As the sitting Governor of the Illinois Blagojevich was arrested when sloppy operational security exposed the auction he was holding to sell Hussein's vacant United States Senate seat. He is scheduled to be released in May 2024 during the second term of either Hillary Rodham-Clinton or Donald Trump-Clinton's presidency. Blagojevich became a politician when his amateur boxing career ended following a loss by technical knock out in the 1975 Chicago Golden Gloves tournament. Sorry for your laws.

Hacked Exchange Other Than Bitfinex Also Plans Reopening

Gatecoin has announced it will be re-launching it's trading platform soon, in attempts to revive the image of a company that lost 15% of it's net worth in a security breach. The exchange plans to resume trading on August 17th at 08:00 GMT. Feeble car-salesman tactics to lure back ETH huffers to the platform include no trading fees until September, and the ability to withdraw DAO tokens. Gatecoin has promised customers "round-the-clock security monitoring with constant penetration testing" which likely translates to greater odds of the customer being penetrated anally. Sorry for your loss.

Monsanto On Dicamba Drift Disaster: We Are Not An Enforcement Agency, To Argentina: We Are An Enforcement Agency

In response to growing tensions over Monsanto's Dicamba resistant soybeans tempting farmers to use Dicamba and wilting neighboring soybean fields along with the occasional stand of trees,1 Monsanto's response through a representative of the company is:

“We understand the EPA is investigating and Monsanto is supporting that work.”

Richard: “The thing I want to underline is we, as a company, aren’t an enforcement agency. We’re confident that the state officials will be evaluating the complaints, will investigate and will take appropriate actions.

“As a company, we can’t speculate on what action government officials will take – especially those who are investigating complaints of misuse. I’m sure they’re working diligently and will be taking action.”

– Monsanto Representative to Delta Farm News (archived)

By contrast when Argentina refused to follow Monsanto's exacting instructions in an attempt to enforce dubious and expiring patents, acting as an enforcement agency Monsanto embargoed Argentina.

For all the pain market forces are continuing to heap on the value of the corn crop, the soy crop this year is on track to produce nothing but losers. On one side will be farmers with a spectacular haul burdened by torts and on the other are farmers who went through the expense of planting only to harvest wilt if they don't end up tilling the field under. Sorry for your loss.


  1. On a recent country drive numerous stands of deciduous trees near farms appeared to have been experiencing profound stress disproportionate to this summer's heat

First US Cop Faces Terrorism Charges, Crime: Buying Gift Cards

In what mainstream media is reporting as the first case of terrorism charges targeting a law enforcement officer in the United States, a DC area transit cop bought ~250 United States dollars worth of gift cards (archived). Prosecutors allege he then distributed the gift card codes to FBI agents so that those FBI agents could buy paid mobile messaging apps for the Islamic State.

Law enforcement officers not facing terrorism charges in the United States include:

Those most be some serious mobile messaging apps.

Shapeshift.io Unveils Ether Cleaver

ShapeShift.io has announced a new service making it easier to launder "clean" Ether-huffer's funds. (archived) The tool, located at split.shapeshift.io, says it can "safely separate or "clean" your Ethereum balances and avoid replay attacks and lost coins." The news comes too late to help chief ETH huffer Brian Armstrong of Coinbase, whose company is still rumored to be of questionable solvency due to not understanding how hard forks work.1


  1. Edit: Coinbase just announced it would be awarding users "credits" "soon" for the amount of Ethereum users have that wasn't subject to Buterin's time travel theft to bailout the DAO.  

Yet Another Underwhelming Effort To Fork Bitcoin Unveiled

After the grossly underwhelming reveal of last month's "Terminator Plan" hard fork buzz this month brings yet another social engineering attempt. A new subreddit named "btcfork" was publicly announced and it swiftly filled with a bunch of activity from people who won't attach names to the positions they are trying to advance. Apparently having people with names was the problem this whole time! This latest attempt comes after Ethereum hard forked with substantial lulz. The nameless posters however insist that this will be different and successful. Sorry fork, your loss.

Gawker Media's Nick Denton Personally Files For Bankruptcy

Gawker Media founder Nick Denton (WOT:nonperson) filed for bankruptcy protection. This follows Gawker Media's filing back in June. This bankruptcy filing follows Denton fraudulently misrepresenting to the court value of the Gawker Media stock posted as bond following the loss by his company and himself personally to Hulk Hogan. The day after Denton posted the Gawker media stock as bond, Gawker media filed for bankruptcy. Failing to take personal responsibility for his failings, Denton blames fellow homosexual in tech Peter Thiel (WOT:nonperson) for using his play money to support litigation against Denton and Gawker Media for outing Thiel's homosexuality. Sorry for your loss.

Tree Nuts Liberated In California

In a state known for enviro-mentalism, exorbitant housing prices, inoffensive wine, and year-round surfing, a $9.3 bn per year industry is being skimmed by asset liberators other than those in Sacramento and Washington (archived). These non-violent crimes – stealing truckloads of physical altcoins in the shapes of almonds, pistachios, and a variety of other tree nuts – are apparently being conducted using falsified documentation, laptops, and cell phones, tools widely known to be used by scammers and terrorists and probably next in line for the political firing squad after the beloved AR-15. Last year, 310.847 tons of untraceable anonymous tree nuts valued at $4.6 mn were reported stolen.

Unable to contend with unknown bands of brazen thieves stomping on their turf, California's State Assembly is looking to flush even more taxpayer money it doesn't have down the drain by creating an "Agricultural Cargo Theft Task Force" to contend with the rising challenge. Sorry for your nuts.

Black Lives Matter Releases Segregationist Demands

A group calling itself "The movement for Black Lives" claiming to speak as the voice of all smaller "Black Lives Matter" groups has issued a policy platform centered around six demands. Each of the six demands is composed of numerous sub demands. The demands are:

  1. End the war on Black people

    We demand an end to the war against Black people. Since this country’s inception there have been named and unnamed wars on our communities. We demand an end to the criminalization, incarceration, and killing of our people. This includes:

    An immediate end to the criminalization and dehumanization of Black youth across all areas of society including, but not limited to; our nation’s justice and education systems, social service agencies, and media and pop culture. This includes an end to zero-tolerance school policies and arrests of students, the removal of police from schools, and the reallocation of funds from police and punitive school discipline practices to restorative services.
    An end to capital punishment.
    An end to money bail, mandatory fines, fees, court surcharges and “defendant funded” court proceedings.
    An end to the use of past criminal history to determine eligibility for housing, education, licenses, voting, loans, employment, and other services and needs.
    An end to the war on Black immigrants including the repeal of the 1996 crime and immigration bills, an end to all deportations, immigrant detention, and Immigration and Custom Enforcement (ICE) raids, and mandated legal representation in immigration court.
    An end to the war on Black trans, queer and gender nonconforming people including their addition to anti-discrimination civil rights protections to ensure they have full access to employment, health, housing and education.
    An end to the mass surveillance of Black communities, and the end to the use of technologies that criminalize and target our communities (including IMSI catchers, drones, body cameras, and predictive policing software).
    The demilitarization of law enforcement, including law enforcement in schools and on college campuses.
    An immediate end to the privatization of police, prisons, jails, probation, parole, food, phone and all other criminal justice related services.
    Until we achieve a world where cages are no longer used against our people we demand an immediate change in conditions and an end to public jails, detention centers, youth facilities and prisons as we know them. This includes the end of solitary confinement, the end of shackling of pregnant people, access to quality healthcare, and effective measures to address the needs of our youth, queer, gender nonconforming and trans families.

  2. Reparations

    We demand reparations for past and continuing harms. The government, responsible corporations and other institutions that have profited off of the harm they have inflicted on Black people — from colonialism to slavery through food and housing redlining, mass incarceration, and surveillance — must repair the harm done. This includes:

    Reparations for the systemic denial of access to high quality educational opportunities in the form of full and free access for all Black people (including undocumented and currently and formerly incarcerated people) to lifetime education including: free access and open admissions to public community colleges and universities, technical education (technology, trade and agricultural), educational support programs, retroactive forgiveness of student loans, and support for lifetime learning programs.
    Reparations for the continued divestment from, discrimination toward and exploitation of our communities in the form of a guaranteed minimum livable income for all Black people, with clearly articulated corporate regulations.
    Reparations for the wealth extracted from our communities through environmental racism, slavery, food apartheid, housing discrimination and racialized capitalism in the form of corporate and government reparations focused on healing ongoing physical and mental trauma, and ensuring our access and control of food sources, housing and land.
    Reparations for the cultural and educational exploitation, erasure, and extraction of our communities in the form of mandated public school curriculums that critically examine the political, economic, and social impacts of colonialism and slavery, and funding to support, build, preserve, and restore cultural assets and sacred sites to ensure the recognition and honoring of our collective struggles and triumphs.
    Legislation at the federal and state level that requires the United States to acknowledge the lasting impacts of slavery, establish and execute a plan to address those impacts. This includes the immediate passage of H.R.40, the “Commission to Study Reparation Proposals for African-Americans Act” or subsequent versions which call for reparations remedies.

  3. Invest-Divest

    We demand investments in the education, health and safety of Black people, instead of investments in the criminalizing, caging, and harming of Black people. We want investments in Black communities, determined by Black communities, and divestment from exploitative forces including prisons, fossil fuels, police, surveillance and exploitative corporations. This includes:

    A reallocation of funds at the federal, state and local level from policing and incarceration (JAG, COPS, VOCA) to long-term safety strategies such as education, local restorative justice services, and employment programs.
    The retroactive decriminalization, immediate release and record expungement of all drug related offenses and prostitution, and reparations for the devastating impact of the “war on drugs” and criminalization of prostitution, including a reinvestment of the resulting savings and revenue into restorative services, mental health services, job programs and other programs supporting those impacted by the sex and drug trade.
    Real, meaningful, and equitable universal health care that guarantees: proximity to nearby comprehensive health centers, culturally competent services for all people, specific services for queer, gender nonconforming, and trans people, full bodily autonomy, full reproductive services, mental health services, paid parental leave, and comprehensive quality child and elder care.
    A constitutional right at the state and federal level to a fully-funded education which includes a clear articulation of the right to: a free education for all, special protections for queer and trans students, wrap around services, social workers, free health services (including reproductive body autonomy), a curriculum that acknowledges and addresses students’ material and cultural needs, physical activity and recreation, high quality food, free daycare, and freedom from unwarranted search, seizure or arrest.
    A divestment from industrial multinational use of fossil fuels and investment in community- based sustainable energy solutions.
    A cut in military expenditures and a reallocation of those funds to invest in domestic infrastructure and community well-being.

  4. Economic Justice

    We demand economic justice for all and a reconstruction of the economy to ensure Black communities have collective ownership, not merely access. This includes:

    A progressive restructuring of tax codes at the local, state, and federal levels to ensure a radical and sustainable redistribution of wealth.
    Federal and state job programs that specifically target the most economically marginalized Black people, and compensation for those involved in the care economy. Job programs must provide a living wage and encourage support for local workers centers, unions, and Black-owned businesses which are accountable to the community.
    A right to restored land, clean air, clean water and housing and an end to the exploitative privatization of natural resources — including land and water. We seek democratic control over how resources are preserved, used and distributed and do so while honoring and respecting the rights of our Indigenous family.
    The right for workers to organize in public and private sectors especially in “On Demand Economy” jobs.
    Restore the Glass-Steagall Act to break up the large banks, and call for the National Credit Union Administration and the US Department of the Treasury to change policies and practices around regulation, reporting and consolidation to allow for the continuation and creation of black banks, small and community development credit unions, insurance companies and other financial institutions.
    An end to the Trans-Pacific Partnership and a renegotiation of all trade agreements to prioritize the interests of workers and communities.
    Through tax incentives, loans and other government directed resources, support the development of cooperative or social economy networks to help facilitate trade across and in Black communities globally. All aid in the form of grants, loans or contracts to help facilitate this must go to Black led or Black supported networks and organizations as defined by the communities.
    Financial support of Black alternative institutions including policy that subsidizes and offers low-interest, interest-free or federally guaranteed low-interest loans to promote the development of cooperatives (food, residential, etc.), land trusts and culturally responsive health infrastructures that serve the collective needs of our communities.
    Protections for workers in industries that are not appropriately regulated including domestic workers, farm workers, and tipped workers, and for workers — many of whom are Black women and incarcerated people— who have been exploited and remain unprotected. This includes the immediate passage at the Federal and state level of the Domestic Workers Bill of Rights and extension of worker protections to incarcerated people.

  5. Community Control

    We demand a world where those most impacted in our communities control the laws, institutions, and policies that are meant to serve us – from our schools to our local budgets, economies, police departments, and our land – while recognizing that the rights and histories of our Indigenous family must also be respected. This includes:

    Direct democratic community control of local, state, and federal law enforcement agencies, ensuring that communities most harmed by destructive policing have the power to hire and fire officers, determine disciplinary action, control budgets and policies, and subpoena relevant agency information.
    An end to the privatization of education and real community control by parents, students and community members of schools including democratic school boards and community control of curriculum, hiring, firing and discipline policies.
    Participatory budgeting at the local, state and federal level.

  6. Political Power

    We demand independent Black political power and Black self-determination in all areas of society. We envision a remaking of the current U.S. political system in order to create a real democracy where Black people and all marginalized people can effectively exercise full political power. This includes:

    An end to the criminalization of Black political activity including the immediate release of all political prisoners and an end to the repression of political parties.
    Public financing of elections and the end of money controlling politics through ending super PACs and unchecked corporate donations.
    Election protection, electoral expansion and the right to vote for all people including: full access, guarantees, and protections of the right to vote for all people through universal voter registration, automatic voter registration, pre-registration for 16-year-olds, same day voter registration, voting day holidays, enfranchisement of formerly and presently incarcerated people, local and state resident voting for undocumented people, and a ban on any disenfranchisement laws.
    Full access to technology including net neutrality and universal access to the internet without discrimination and full representation for all.
    Protection and increased funding for Black institutions including Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU’s), Black media and cultural, political and social formations.

Peace in our time.