Category Archives: Altcoins

Alabama Special Senate Election Bleeding Legacy GOP As Trump's Cleansing Continues

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The special election to fill the Senate seat vacated by Jeff Sessions' appointment as Trump's attorney general appears to be turning into one of the bloodier fronts of the legacy GOP's struggle to endure Trump's cleansing of the party. Mitch McConnell and other leaders of the legacy Senate GOP are throwing their resources behind an effort to make appointed interim Alabama Senator Luther Strange the elected junior Senator from Alabama. (archived)

Running for the seat from the Great Again wing of the GOP are congressman Mo Brooks and former Alabama Supreme Court Justice Roy Moore. The bloodiest lines of attack thus far in the campaign have been between Strange and Brooks. Strange indicts Brooks for taking time to come to believe in the Great again, a fault many shared early in the 2016 presidential campaign. Brooks on the other hand is bleeding Strange for being a consummate insider whose nose has already darkened several shades from its time spent in McConnell's anus.

While Strange and Brooks bleed each other, Justice Moore enjoys his status as a Dixie saint which was cemented with his decision from the bench that if Alabama wants Jesus and the ten commandments, by God he was going to give Alabama what it wants. The ACLU and Federal cocksuckers be damned. When Moore was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court through a SJW dominated show trial, he stood fast offering:

to acknowledge God cannot be a violation of the Canons of Ethics. Without God there can be no ethics.

The primary election is scheduled for August 15th. The leading candidate for the overt pantsuit nomination according to polls is an unknown who happens to be named Robert Kennedy.

Coinbase Begins Trading Vacation With "Your" Coins Early

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Mtgox Coinbase employees have started their planned trading vacation this weekend instead of waiting for their intended start date of just before August 1st. Mtgox Coinbase has posted a cryptic status message stating that their withdrawals may be "delayed by up to 12+ hours" (archived). The notation "+" signifies an indefinite addition to the number that precedes it, and for this reason we are deeply Sorry For Your Loss.

California Has A Weed Problem

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Acccording to the Los Angeles Times, growers in California's marijuana industry are producing eight to twelve times more product than is necessary to satisfy in state demand for that dank skunky shit.1) At the present KKKalifornia law allows for the possession of one ounce of marijuana per person in the state at any given time, but marijuana producers who have sought KKKalifornia state licensing will be banned from exporting any marijuana come January 1st 2018.

This is a great boon to "outlaw" producers with the foresight to avoid KKKalifornia's regulated market in spite of tremendous social engineering pressures arrayed to tempt them to surrender to the criminal KKKalifornian regime. Who could have forseen that a plant nicknamed "weed" would grow like one?

  1. For typical usage patterns consider this piece. (archived ↩

BTC-E Down Owner Appears Headed For USG "Coke Machine" Treatment As Fiatist Thefts Continue

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Long time semi-independent fiat/Bitcoin interface BTC-E has gone down with its apparent operator captured by USG and Greek pederast forces. The Stasi's press representatives are alleging that BTC-E laundered 4 billion United States dollars since 2011, this is in spite of BTC-E trading multiple tokens in addition to Bitcoin with one of the most volatile being the United States dollar. This suggests the Stasi pulled the 4 Billion dollar figure out of someone's ass to defend their favored scamcoin's honor.

This move follows the death earlier this month of Alexandre Cazes, the alleged proprietor of AlphaBay, who appears to have been killed by one of the Stasi's attempts to capture Bitcoin value via the "coke machine" method. Perhaps the Stasi feels that partnering with the Greek pederasts, with their legendary Hellenic loving touch, might give this latest captive enough life to spit out the private keys.

The fiatists continue thrashing.

A Quick FAQ About The Not Bitcoin fork "Bitcoin Cash"

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Q: Is "Bitcoin Cash" Bitcoin?

A: No

Q: What does Roger Ver presents "Bitcoin.com"'s backing mean?

A: It's even more likely to fail in the vein of XTCoin, ClassicCoin, and Unlimited Spam Coin which were all Roger Ver-ified scams. The "Roger Ver-ified" endorsement is a leper's mark.

Q: But "Bitcoin Cash" futures appear to be trading very high? How could this be?

A: Wash trading. No one with any money that counts is sending it to the only malarial (falciparum) "exchange" trading such an instrument.

Q: Why did they use Wix.com to build a website?

A: Probably because their television viewing overlaps with the middle aged woman "small businessing" demographic that Wix.com advertises to. Also they pre-emptively hate their users.

Q: Are you sorry?

A: Only for your loss.

Pokemon Go Creators Try To Spark New Interest In Spyware Fad With Event: Nostlgia Successfully Comes From Broken Gameplay

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Niantic, developers of the game clad spyware Pokemon Go, held an event to celebrate the anniversary of their fad by holding a live event coordinating lusers in Chiraq's Union Square with other players around the world. Niantic went out of their way to provide nostalgia with an entire slew of new bugs and broken gameplay tied to the event which harkened back to the two weeks last summer in which the game had monopolized the general public's attention.1

Attendees at the Union Square portion of the event failed to nostalgiate as Niantic anticipated and instead threw tanrums. These thousands of presumed homo sapiens with a common interest failed to bond, celebrate, or find love among fellows with a shared passion for catching them all. Ever gracious, Niantic ended up making the event's prizes available and pretended not to notice their audience's failure to appreciate all of Niantic's effort towards recreating an authentic experience of the fad at its peak. According to reports, players attempting to acquire the two chicken like monsters offered as prizes for the event's "success" are frequently encountering still more nostalgia inducing bugs that make the prizes unobtainable by all but the most warped masochists.

  1. The fad's most amazing accomplishment was the thoroughness of its fall into obscurity. Despite Hillary Rodham-Clinton trying to get pantsuit voters to "Pokemon Go to the polls", neither Hillary Rodham-Clinton nor the Democratic National Committee have attempted to scapegoat Pokemon Go for Trump's ascent to the Presidency. They have however tried blaming but this forgotten fad. ↩

Minneapolis Loses First Native American, Female, And Openly Gay Police Chiefs In Tripartite Resignation

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Minneapolis lost its first native American, female, and openly gay police chiefs in the tripartite  resignation of Janne Harteau. Harteau resigned from her diversity milestones following the shooting of blond Australian migrant Justine Damond by Somali born Minneapolis police officer Mohamed Noor. Noor was initiated into the Minneapolis police department through a "fast-track" training course (archived).

Swedish Railroad Consults Masses: Trainy McTrainface Results

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Swedish rail operator MTR Express has resigned itself to naming a new train running the Stockholm to Gothenburg line "Trainy McTrainface" after it opened to the naming process to the masses, and the only possible outcome resulted. A variety of suggested names commemorating persons, culture, and events were ignored in favor of a name at intersection of plain description and peak anthropomorphism. Surely Trainy McTrainface was a very happy train after being told the result.

Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP Senators: Start Selling!

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This week, following yet another failure by legacy legislative members of the GOP to end Obamacare, United States President Donald Trump summoned GOP members of the Senate1 to a luncheon where he issued them an ultimatum. They must begin selling! President Trump even singled out a Nevada Senator, Doubting Dean Heller, and challenged Heller on his presumed desire to remain a Senator (archived). Only eight of the thirty three US Senate seats being contested in the 2018 mid term election are currently held by the GOP. This places non-compliant, legacy, GOP Senators like Doubting Dean vulnerable to challengers during this coming spring's primary season as Trump's GOP moves towards greater purity and ability.

The luncheon's lesson is that in Trump's GOP, faith without works is now dead. Private professions of faith and muted announcements supporting the cause are no longer enough. GOP legislators must begin the work of selling the Trumpreich's agenda or they will be purged as the party resolves its schisms. Eight years of Hussein Bahamas, where the GOP existed as a hollow and lazy opposition party doing little other than serving to legitimize pantsuit's pretensions of purpose, allowed Trump to capture the party. Now that Trump has the GOP, he will have his way with the GOP.

  1. Minus the lich John McCain who has been revealed to have aggressive brain cancer. Presumably McCain has failed to maintain personal possession of his phylactery.  ↩