Balance Of Buttfunex "Cold Storage" Address Down 50 kiloBitcoin And Falling

Bitfinex death watch continues with the address declared to be their "cold storage" down 50,000 Bitcoins and counting. This comes as Buttfunex's fait banking partners have ceased processing fiat withdrawals from this fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interface. Sorry for your loss… butt fun while it lasted.

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend (TM)(R): Monero Ring Solution, Coinbase Presents GDAX Has Goxlike Phenomenon, And Another Hoaxtoshi

A site surfaced recently known as "Monero Link" and claims to be able to uncover the precious ring signatures that have made Monero the darling of reddit privacy tards and users of darknet markets.

The Coinbase fiat interface GDAX suffered a bug on Sunday that sent Bitcoin prices plummeting down to $0.06 BTC/USD1 following "schedule maintenance". Brian Armstrong and the other Coinbase cryptcurrency expertsexchange did not wait to reopen market executions that allows orders to populate adequately, though margin trading companies said it "mattered little" because Coinbase is such a small player in the game.

Porsche, having already ruined transmissions with it's Tiptronic offerings, seeks to do the same with Bitcoin as it tries to entice developers and startup companies to provide "blockchain solutions" for the company.

A new, improved Hoaxtoshi has surfaced in Bali, and is meeting "community members" in his hotel and answering questions on Quora.com as the anonymous Bitcon founder. This Hoaxtoshi told bitcoin.com he was unable to sign either an early Bitcoin transaction or a statement with his original GPG key because “A sequence of events unfolded in 2010 that caused me the loss of all my keys.” He further claims only 2 copies of his Bitcoin private keys existed; one in an encrypted notepad document and the other was stored in his original GMX email account. "Mr. Nakamoto" conveniently is unable to access either source and alleges losing the data was what led to him leaving the Bitcoin project suddenly.


  1. Just like on Gox  

Twin Suicides Grip USian Psyche

The suicides of Easter Manhunt subject and "social worker" Steve Stephens and Patriots handegger Aaron Hernandez are dominating today's news cycle in the Anglophone bantustan north of Mexico. The slaughtering social worker went an hero when he was cornered by police trying to get some McNuggets to satisfy his obeastial rather than murderous urges. The sportsballer went an hero in prison where he was sentenced for life due to allegations of killing two less famous men.

This is enforced national mourning is the fourth major item pushed by the Fake news media this year. This previous major fake news narratives were:

  1. Denial that Donald Trump is the elected President of the United States.
  2. Enthusiasm and legitimization of Donald Trump-Clinton as President of the United States after he embraced Hillary Rodham-Clinton's foreign policy agenda.
  3. Continued bloodlust from pro-Imperial fake news spammers encouraging war with Russia.

Buttfunex's Fiat Banking Partners Move Towards Becoming Ex's

Bitfinex self reported that their fiat-side banking partners in the Republic of China1 are going to soon stop doing banking work for them on the bank's initiative. This is in line with the other China's attitude towards their fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interfaces. Sorry for your loss, butt fun while it lasted.


  1. also known as Taiwan, Island China, or Little China  

Easter Manhunt In US

Americans are kept awake as an alleged serial killer eludes law enforcement for more than half a day on what is commonly referred to by hypocrites as the anniversary of their lord's resurrection. Many notice the disconnect between NSA's supposed ability to spy on everybody, and the ongoing inability of the agency to catch a man who broadcast one of his murders live on a popular circle jerk web platform via his cellular telephone. Despite this brief foray into sanity, they fail to recognize that such tools exist for the sole purpose of maintaining a pretense of U.S. Government importance, and that aimless mass shooters pose no threat to it. Amidst vain prayers for the alleged victim are expressions of outrage over the published video of his death, mooed by barely literate cows who have long been oblivious to the fact that these kinds of senseless killings take place on a daily basis throughout the world. It hasn't yet sunk in for those too lazy to read the log that the United States is the new Brazil; soon to be the new Argentina.

Civil Unrest Continues in Berkeley – Antifa Terrorists Deploy Chemical Weapons

Today in Berkeley, California patriotic Americans were again accosted by establishment leftists. The establishment leftists were clad in black and wearing markings suggesting allegiance to the hate filled socialist antifa movement. The patriotic Americans were attending a planned rally in support of the version of Donald Trump that was elected president when the establishment leftists invaded their space and initiated violence. The establishment leftists deployed chemical weapons including CN and oleoresin capsicum. Six hospitalizations are alleged to have resulted to the civil unrest including one stabbing.

French Financial Regulatorast Fines Payment Service Provider Over Bitcoin Business

On March 30th, the "Commission des sanctions" of the "Autorité de Contrôle Prudentiel et de Résolution" fined the Lemon Way Payments Services Provider for over 80,000 € on various charges, among which insufficient KYC and AML performance in relation with a French Bitcoin/fiat interface.

This amount represents almost half the last published profits of the French PSP, led at the time by Mr Sébastien Burlet (WoT: nonperson).

These breach instances include mainly: failure to collect KYC paperwork for 34 customers, failure to report 9 customers to legal enforcement on suspicions of money laundering, and failure to further interrogate 20 customers, for which the declared wealth allegedly didn't match the transaction volumes.

The violations are mostly related to business in relation with an unnamed french Bitcoin/fiat interface. The ACPR aptly reminding the public that Bitcoin carries a high-risk of people actually exercising their basic human right to financial privacy.

US Department of "Justice" Absconding With Botnet In Spanish Arrest

Fresh on the heels of an arresting alleged hacker Peter Levashov in Spain, the Department of Justice announced plans to disable a botnet – known as Kelihos – they claim was under his control and used to send spam emails and infect systems with ransomware. Acting assistant attorney-general Kenneth Blanco said the operation will "redirect Kelihos-infected computers to a substitute server", in order to block communications between infected devices and the botnet server, instead redirecting the compromised machines to the DOJ's own botnet servers. Levashov reportedly had been operating the botnet since 2010, and targeted computers running all variants of Microsoft Windows, the preferred target OS of botnet harvesters worldwide. The Department of Justice statement concluded by stating that "The US government will share samples of the malware with antivirus vendors in facilitate updates to their programs which will allow them to detect and remove Kelihos" while leaving government backdoors firmly in place.

"30 Day" Constipation Of Chinese fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Continues Well Beyond 30 Days

The "30 Day" suspension of Bitcoin withdrawals from Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces has now passed the 61 day mark with no sign of being lifted. The suspensions began when assorted "wreckers" at Chinese fiat/Bitcoin interfaces began collaborating with wreckers at the People's Bank of China instead of dumping the fiat Chinese renminbi. To be clear 61 days is more that 30 days. It is 30 days followed by another 30 days and still another day with no relief in sight for the bagholders. Sorry for your loss.