Bahamas G20 Landing Brouhaha

United States Oval Office seat warmer Hussein Bahamas after arriving in Hangzhou, China for the G20 conference disembarked from his plane using the belly staircase rather than a roll up staircase. De-planing Air Force One by the more common roll up staircase indicates confidence in the security of the de-planing situation and indicates a positive relationship between parties to the landing and de-planing.

By contrast a belly staircase de-planing indicates tension between parties and a lack of confidence defined by feelings of insecurity. The official verified Twitter account of the United States Defense Intelligence Agency made light of the tension by tweeting "Classy as always China" and linking a New York Times piece about the tense situation featuring a full frontal picture of Hussein Bahamas engaged in belly de-planing. The tweet making light of Hussein Bahamas' engagement in a supremely submissive act has already been deleted. Peace in our time.

California Plans Anti-Cattle Legislation

California lawmakers are targeting cows in their latest front on "Global Warming". Democratic Senator Ricardo Lara, author of the legislation, blames bovine flatulence and manure for producing copious amounts of methane emissions and seeks to send current levels to 40 percent below their 2013 levels by the year 2030. Senate Republicans mostly opposed the measure, which passed near the end of the legislative session Wednesday in Sacramento, claiming it will harm local dairy businesses and cause increased milk prices.

Musk Rocket Goes Boom Destroying Zuckerberg Satellite

Yesterday a rocket from Elon Musk's (WOT:nonperson) startup SpaceX exploded on its launchpad. Onboard the rocket was an Israeli made satellite intended to bring Mark Zuckerberg's (WOT:nonperson) Facebook to more Africans, a desperate move to counter Facebook's falling usage figures. Elon Musk ventures have been struggling with safety lately. Sorry for your loss.