Today Saint Stanislav Datskovskiy (WOT:asciilifeform) published a cure that can render the abandonware Sage SmartProbe functional in spite of firmware induced usage limitations.
Monthly Archives: September 2016
Nigerian Students Scammed By Alabama State University
A group of 37 international students from Nigeria are suing Alabama State University over the school's practice of withholding scholarship funds sent by the Nigerian government for their benefit (archived). In their defense, the school alleges a mysterious official from the Nigerian government directed them not to disburse the remaining balance of the scholarships after tuition and required fees to the students. Per the conditions attached to the scholarships these funds were to be directed to the students so that they could pay their expenses incurred which are not billed by the university. The extent to which Alabama State managed to keep these students from accessing their scholarship funds however kept students from even paying tuition to take classes at the university during the summer term, because of instructions the University alleges it received from the mystery government official. The school further alleges the instructions directed returning surplus funds to a "Nigerian Government account." Sorry for your loss.
Cash Seized By NYPD Uncounted And Untracked
The NYPD is seizing so much money through it civil assets forfeiture laws that counting it all would cause their Property and Evidence Tracking System (PETS) to crash due to the volume. NYPD's Assistant Deputy Commissioner Robert Messner stated he "no idea how much money it took in as evidence, nor did it have a way of reporting it" as "a manual count of over half a million invoices each year” would be required. Officials claim that an overhaul of the 4 year old PET system would be required to perform the necessary accounting. (archived)
Google And Apple Break Compatibility With New Developer Product Releases
In near simultaneous fashion Google and Apple both released new products aimed at "software developers" which break compatibility with the product's previous incarnations. Google's Angular2 "web application framework" breaks compatibility with Angular1, while version 3.0 of Apple's Swift programming language is source incompatible with previous versions of the language. Sorry for your loss.
NJ Hamplanet Chris Christie's Own Lawyer Calls Him A Liar
New Jersey hamplanet and alleged governor Chris Christie's own lawyer asserted his own client was a liar. The trial concerns allegations of wrongdoing connected to a local scandal of trivial importance. Christie is notable for scuttling his own campaign for the United States presidency in order to sabotage his own party's candidates in support of Donald Trump-Clinton's campaign and eating himself into a genderless anatomical state. Sorry for your laws.
Paxful "Executives" Arrested With Oodles Of Drugs
Paxful executives were arrested after Chief Technology Officer Artur Shaback engaged in the practice of "open carry" on the balcony of a private domicile. Police responded to this lawful activity by establishing a perimeter and taking Shaback in to custody along with Paxful Chief Executive Officer Mohamed Azab Yousseff and another yet man, Ivan Suhharev.
Following police violence that allegedly lead to the discovery of drugs the Paxful "executives" were released. The CTO and Suhharev face charges of "improper exhibition" relating to their constitutional open carry in the boundaries of a domicile. The CEO faces charges of hashish and cocaine possession with intent to distribute1 in a clear cut case of "Shrem's Bong" lowering another fringe "emerging technologies" addict into pederasty.
Peace in our time, for as another aspiring businessman once wrote before his life became unmanageable:
Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.
"Intent to distribute" in the Usistani vocabulary denotes a quantity of drug material or a manner of packaging drug material, and does not actually depend upon establishing an actual intent to distribute the drug material. ↩
Another Crack In Ether Handler's Fume Hood
ETH huffers are in a panic again as yet another bug was discovered in geth, the bug-riddled version of the protocol written in Golang. (archived) The most recent discovery causes geth nodes running out of memory and crash on block 2283416. No fix was offered at this time, and developers said it will be necessary to use another implementation until geth is repaired. Prices had dropped 1.30% on the news, according to coinmarketap.com
Bombs Explode In New Jersey And Manhattan
A bomb exploded in a trash can near a United States Marine Corps charity race, and several hours later another bomb apparently exploded in the Manhattan neighborhood of Chelsea. No injuries were reported during the New Jersey explosion, and 29 injuries were reported in the Manhattan explosion. No further information is available at the moment. Peace in our time.
Japanese Virginity Reaches Crisis Levels
The Japan Times reports that nearly half of unmarried adult Japanese men and women are virgins. Decades of social "reforms" have left the Japanese population docile to the point sex outside a marital contract rarely happens, and Japan's low birthrate suggests that even marital contracts to little to promote sex among those residents of Japan who managed to lose their virginity.
A similar though less developed trend of sexlessness is beginning to emerge in the young adult population in the United States, though rampant transmayogenderism complicates comparisons by as many young Americans can be visually identified as sexually defective from a distance. Japan's increase in obesity lags their growing sexlessness while American sexlessness lags their increasing obesity. The failure of the fundamental biological drive to "make baby" suggest deep defects at the societal and personal level in both cases.
Peace (by attrition) in our time.
Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 6 (TM)(R)
Welcome to the sixth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are probably innocent of newsworthiness.
- A mentally ill teenager from Godfrey Illinois, Keaun Cook, faces terrorism related charges in his local criminal court. The teenager was indicted in spite of a search of his home failing to find any weapons or hazardous materials as well as nearly a year of his life already spent in confinement at "mental health" facilities. His only prior criminal conviction was for misdemeanor "damage to property" after allegedly scratching a pickup truck with a rock.In 2011 a college student, Olutosin Oduwole, was convicted of similar terrorism charges in the same local criminal court after a set of song lyrics were discovered in his locked vehicle when his vehicle was towed by his university's parking stasi in 2007. That particular conviction was overturned in an outright reversal by an appellate court in May 2013 after the prosecution victim had already lost more than six years of his life to the ordeal.
- In an op ed piece for the New York Times Richard Lumb advanced the position that intervention is required to "correct" the unfolding of actual historical events.
- The United States Air Force has grounded its flavor F-35 Join Strike Fighter due to crumbling insulation. The boondoggle continues.
- Trend pieces emerged this week documenting a new strategy American cities are using to fight rats (archived). Municipal government employees are putting chunks of solid carbon dioxide into rat burrows where the material kills the rats as it vaporizes and is then released into the atmosphere. Urban politicians and mainstream media outlets have spent years heralding the atmospheric release of carbon dioxide as the greatest threat to civilization.
- Aspiring New York based Bitcoin exchange Itbit, after failing to become a Bitcoin exchange trading any serious volume, has decided to shift to bespoke software development and change their name to Paxos as they rebrand to shift into a completely different kind of industry.
- A interesting case study in how for USians their everything is useless and harmful was discovered (archived).