Angela Merkel, who recently announced zer intent to run for reelection as an explicitly establishment candidate, has embraced a populist political position in order to curry favor with voters. Merkel announced plans to ban the burqa in any place zhe may "legally" do so. Germans have been taking a beating lately at home, in their European Union, and technologically.
Category Archives: Weather
Aussie Faces Investigation After Defending Dog From Viscious Roo Attack
An Austrialian man is facing investigation by various "environmental" agencies of the Australian state after defending his dog and his hunting companions from a vicious attack by a kangaroo. The kangaroo was choking the man's dog when he intervened. After humanely delivering a single right jab to the Roo's face the monstrous animal fled. This victim of spurious environmental investigation is a professional zookeeper.
Missouri Governor Elect's Wife Robbed At Gunpoint In Saint Louis
Sheena Grietens, wife of Missouri's Governor Elect, was robbed in the Central West end neighborhood of Saint Louis. The Governor Elect and former Navy Seal stated that the suspects are "lucky law enforcement got them before I did" during a press conference. Sheena Grietens was sitting in her car near Cafe Ventana when one of the suspects opened her door and demanded her stuff. She surrendered her laptop and cell phone. A 14 year old, 15 year old, and 19 year old of unknown identity and ethnicity were taken into custody. Pence in our time.
Renzi Resigns As Voters Reject His Agenda And Tell Brussels "Vaffanculo" Suggesting Future #Italeave
Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi announced he would be stepping down after voters rejected his agenda of "reforms" during a referendum. As in Brexit and The Great Again's summoning, voters went populist and nationalist in rejecting the entrenched fiat establishment's plans. Once again voters "surprised" many purveyors of "Fake News" like the New York Times. This referendum's failure does not commit Italy to #Italeave the European Union, but it does kick the ball in that direction with a strong "Vaffanculo " directed at Brussels.
Trumpreich Swamp Draining Plans Still Elusive, No Dykes, Weirs, Or Windmills Proposed
The United States President Elect has still failed to present any plans for a system of dykes, weirs, and windmills to drain water from the swamp. He was however begun filling out his cabinet. Notable selections include:
- Tom Price, former orthopedic surgeon and future secretary of Health and Human services. This move has generated heated debated with lines roughly drawn between health customer service providers that draw comfortable salaries and those who attempt operating a business by billing for services.
- James 'Mad Dog' Mattis, retired US Marine Corps General for secretary of defense. This selection has been unusually unchallenged in the press. Mattis is notable for bombing wedding parties1 and an unusual willingness to relieve his command of officers who would not get with his program. Mattis enjoys a retirement gig as a Director on the board of General Dynamics and Theranos.
- Betsy Davos, an heir by marriage to the Amway multi level marketing fortune, to secretary of education.
- Preet Bharara to continue as United States Attorney for the District of Manhattan.
- No pick has been announced for Secretary of State. Instead the fate of the position filled by failed presidential candidates Hillary Rodham-Clinton and John Kerry is surrounded by rumors, innuendo, and speculation in line with the sacred traditions of "reality" television.
Notable benefit: less surviving relatives to avenge the deceased ↩
18 Year Old Somali Child Killed By Police At The Ohio State University
An 18 year old Somali child was killed by police on the campus of The Ohio State University following a bias incident. The child drove a vehicle into a crowd of pedestrians before using a butcher's knife in an attempt to negate the innate priviledge they held compared to the 18 year old Somali child. Responding police officers failed to recognize the child was lashing upwards against priviledge and instead of compassionately empowering him, they transitioned him into being just another victim of police violence.
DT Customers Lose Service Due To "Cyber Attack"
Deutsche Telekom has reportedly been hit with a cyberattack that has caused hundreds of thousand of its customers to be without service since Sunday afternoon. German government and company officials say that approximately 900,000 customers, around 4.5% of it's fixed-line customer base, have been affected by the attack. The company was giving few details as to the nature of the attack, but stated on their website:
"Based on the pattern of errors, it can not be ruled out that the router has been targeted externally, with the result that it can no longer log on to the network"
Some customers believe that the tight-lipped response is due to Deutsche Telekom not knowing the full extent of the issues at hand, and many took to social media to vent as the company's hotline and online customer center were rendered unreachable due to the outages. The only fix suggested by the company on their website at this time was to "try turning the router off, wait 30 seconds, then turn it back on again".
And In Other Unhappenings Today
You may recall the recent instance where Phuctor schweizered SecLab@TUBerlin1, an event that was then discreetely unhappened under the pretense that supposedly something marked as "Signing key" was merely an (unmarked) exercise, intended as a target for kids to practice their factoring skills. Anyone except Putin2 finds this explanation supremely convincing, especially because it is very common for training exercises to spuriously come in the exact form and markings of live munitions, but with convenient indication of which items to pick as part of the exercise (the factorable ones being conveniently placed last in an enumeration labelled "2006", "2007", "2008", "2009", "2010", "2011", "2012", "2013", "2014", "2015" and "2016"). Only terrorists would use the opposite approach, where effort is directed instead towards marking training exercises for distinction from the real McCoy and towards not telegraphing the correct choice.
Less than two weeks later which is to say about an hour ago, lost among a continuing shower of cheap VPS hosters, home routers etcetera…
deedbot phuctor.nosuchlabs.com/gpgkey/A2BC32C93E2CCD68BD6B50936177E24EFB482DB894713D1D9193F41CEA2AB7B1 << Recent Phuctorings – Phuctored: 1307…6977 divides RSA Moduli belonging to '93.174.104.41 (ssh-rsa key from 93.174.104.41 (services.euclides.nl. NL)).
You may perhaps be excused if you don't know who Euclides Automatisering B.V. of 16 Bredestraat 3632 AZ Loenen aan de Vecht is. They do.
Not Quite News Roundup Xtend Sex Teens Edition (TM)(R) – Fake News Becomes Meme
Welcome to the sex teens edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.
- Fidel Castro, the scion of a sugar industry fortune, has died of complications related to being 90 years old. Fidel leveraged his priviledged beginnings into a decades long reign as supreme leader of Cuba. As leader of Cuba Fidel was literally the Grinch, as he cancelled Christmas celebrations on the island for the 29 years between 1969 and 1998. After transferring supreme leadership of the island to his brother, Fidel lived long enough to see United States president Hussein Bahamas surrender to Cuba ending the Cold War.
- Wildfires ravaged much of the northern and central portions of Israel. 23 have been detained on suspicion of arson.
- The Green Party in the United States has been raising substantial sums this week under the guise of using it to petition for a ballot recount in the country's recent Presidential election. Jill Stein and the Green Party have raised more than 5 million United States dollars for the effort so far. Stein and the Green Party's presidential campaign only raised 3.51 million US dollars for their presidential campaign. Every time they have approached their fundraising goal they have raised it, under the guise of "expected costs", from an initial 2.5 million dollars to 7 million.
- Various socialist "idea people" are all supposing that members of the Electoral College deliver the United States presidency to someone other than the President Elect.Various appeals are being made to the popular vote, interview out take footage, and the questionable bits of constitutional trivia though the leading sobbing plea against their fellow Americans at the moment still appears to be "muh feels". The Electoral college convenes in each of the 50 state capitols on December 19th.
- On January 6th the newly elected GOP dominated House of Representatives gets to review the decision of the electoral college. The house may confer with the senate to reject the electoral votes of any state. Congress stripped Arkansas and Louisiana of their electoral votes in the 1872 presidential contest.
- The Bill Gates (WoT:nonperson) and Mark Zuckerburg (WoT:nonperson) funded Bridge International Academies in Uganda have been ordered to close for sanitary as well as life and safety violations.
- CNN did not show 30 minutes of pornography to Boston area cable subscribers, but this did not stop CNN from "admitting" that they did show the imaginary pornography.
- The R3 consortium is losing member banks now that the time for paying dues is coming around. One could say they have a Mike Hearnia. The consortium is also sending cease and desist letters to critics suggesting there is existing prior art against R3's fiat patent applications for various inventions. No applications for patent nor declarations of invention have been filed by any representative of R3 thus far in the only jurisdiction that matters.
- This weeks most under discussed altcoin is ModiCash, the failed rupee hardfork Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi advanced which would have rendered 86% of circulating Indian currency invalid. The rules of the program, which are changing several times a day, allow Indians a limited window to exchange their rupees for fully validated ModiBucks. The move has been framed as an effort to combat tax evasion and graft but is turning into an astounding opportunity to profit from tax evasion and graft. One point two billion times, Sorry for your loss.
- Fake news is becoming the meme of the US Democratic Party's loss. Having failed to find the serenity necessary to accept the will of their fellow Americans after having imposed 8 years of Hussein Bahamas, the lefter American left1 ranked all of the scapegoats they could lean on to scapegoat rather than accept their loss. Their list read Rednecks, Russians, and "Russian" fake news. With fears that the rednecks could beat them up, "Fake news" is their enemy number 1. "Fake news" to them means any outlet that wasn't certain Hillary had the election won, for the right reasons, all of they way from April through November 8th.
"Teen horniness is not a crime" – Krista Now
As opposed to the Greater Again American left. ↩
USG.Navy Loses More Personnel Information
134,000+ names and social security numbers of Navy personnel were accessed by an unknown individuals, according to a report by the NCIS on Wednesday. HP Enterprise services notified the Navy on October 27th that one of it's employees had their laptop breached, though officials say there is no evidence the liberated data had been misused at this time. The data was part of the Career Waypoints database, which sailors use to submit re-enlistment or Military Occupation Specialty job requests. The Navy has stated it will be offering credit monitoring services for those affected and will contact the affected personnel by phone, email, and post to advise them of their loss.