Category Archives: The Law

Phuctor Finds RSA Collision In SSH Key Dump

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Today the Phuctor discovered two SSH keys sharing a common factor while working on a dump of SSH public keys discovered during a scan of the IPv4 address space. The shared factor is:

10783613970442413934143578906158089830375140508817221044708965087575877867311152108386754333184784039689570945854780881166021712179361227812154341718049279

The keys (Key A and Key B) correspond with IP addresses assigned to the internet service provider "Frontier Communications" which may translate to shitty DSL modems. Phuctor has factored interesting keys before, but this compromised pair is notable for the size of the factor discovered through Phuctor's relentless search for common denominators. Phuctor has broken 249 RSA moduli as of the time of this publication. Beyond the common factor both keys share the RSA exponent 35, previously noted to be suspicious.

Frontier Communications previously was best known for being the venture that runs wired telecommunications services in territories that Verizon decides it doesn't want any more.

Dallas "Black Lives Matter" Sniper Killed In Drone Bombing

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Following a short standoff with a suspect who allegedly killed 5 Dallas police officers and wounded 7, Dallas police resolved the situation by sending a bomb squad robot to the suspects location and detonating a lethal explosive killing the suspect. This drone killing followed an incident where police officers supervising a Black Lives matter protest were fired upon by one or more persons operating from elevated sniper positions.1 At a press conference today the chief of the Dallas police department confidently reported that the victim of the drone bombing expressed a desire to kill white people while disavowing membership in the "Black Lives Matter" movement. Peace in our time.

  1. Details will likely remain hazy even after the Zapruder film, congressional inquiries, and Oliver Stone (WOT:nonperson) film are completed.  ↩

CoinJoin Not A Privacy Tool After All

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Joinmarket, the Bitcoin tumbler service apparently popular among darknet market aficionados today announced that their service isn't actually very anonymous after all. Project developer Chris Belcher (WOT:nonperson) stated that "there are some possible vulnerabilities which could be exploited to spy on every user." While this was identified approximately one year ago, nothing was done to remedy the issue until multiple users noticed deanonymizing attacks happening in real time. Belcher assures his users that "We have a pretty good idea how to fix this" and after discussing the matter with CoinJoin creator Gregory Maxwell (WOT:gmaxwell) they together suppose they have an algorithm that will make it more difficult for attackers to uncover information on utxo's. It was admitted  that "This algorithm is not intended as a complete solution to that issue" leaving darknet market users with another steaming pile of shitware.

Counterpoint: Maybe Comey Didn't Want To "Crush His Own Throat" #ClintonPrivilege

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Former President of the United Nations General Assembly John Ashe (WOT:nonperson) was officially determined to have died from a heart attack even though the local police officers who initially investigated his death noted his throat had been crushed (archived). John Ashe was set to testify against Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) and is the latest casualty of Clinton privilege. Clinton privilege is known to induce "suicide" in persons who threaten the success or continued privilege of Clintons with one of its earliest known victims being Vince Foster (WOT:nonperson). These "coincidences" likely informed the FBI stooge's (WOT:nonperson) decision to make a public announcement earlier today affirming his support for Clinton privilege. Sorry for your loss.

FBI Stooge Affirms Clinton Privilege

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FBI Director James Comey (WOT:nonperson) announced today that his office would be affirming Hillary Rodham Clinton's (WOT:nonperson) Clinton privilege. For the crimes of being a horrible sysadmin, running an email server which leaked US foreign policy secrets, and trying to conceal her violation of the laws concerning the handling of classified information Comey found nothing worth his pressing charges over. Never mind that David Petraeus (WOT:nonperson) , the second coming of Uncle Sam had his career destroyed over less when he faced the criminal charges. Check your1 privilege!2

  1. Clinton  ↩

  2. No, seriously go through your ancestor's belongings to find the family tree and connect it to the Clinton family tree lest you suffer like Ross Ulbricht who had no Clinton privilege.  ↩

Bitcoin Network Difficulty Up ~1.88% With Subsidy Halving Days Away

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Bitcoin network difficulty went up 1.88 percent from 209453158595.38098145 to 213398925331.32391357 today. This is the last difficulty adjustment before the mining subsidy is cut in half at block 420,000.1 At press time we are at block 419376. Tick, tock, tick, tock!

  1. It also coincides with the anniversary of the BIP 66 Clusterfuck event. Imagine that. Bitcoin has enough history for major "This day in history" type events to begin filling up a calendar. ↩

First Anniversary of BIP 66 Clusterfuck

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One year ago the BIP 66 clusterfuck happened. The chainsplit following the "activation" revealed that many miners were using simplified (and dysfunctional) chain verification, which led to abundant lols and chain splits. Turns out "soft" forks aren't all that soft! More splits happened after the initial split that inaugurated the clusterfuck, and they happened for the same reason. Never forget!

Latest Fork Noise Arrives On Schedule

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This past week supporters of the failed ClassicCoin coup attempt have attempted to socially engineer a fresh round of buzz for their failed effort. They are referring to their latest effort as the "Terminator Plan" which supposes that somehow people are going to switch en masse to their stillborn and irrelevant ClassicCoin client from the moribund and also irrelevant "Core" fork of the reference Bitcoin client.

This time the fork effort had still less fanfare than the original ClassicCoin announcement, just as the ClassicCoin announcement had still less fanfare than the XTCoin announcement which preceded it. The sudden push for the "Terminator Plan" in addition to being exactly on schedule has arrived swiftly after the effort to suppose Bitcoin could be replaced with the ether huffing habit effectively ended.

Discussions taking the "Terminator Plan" seriously have been absent from venues engaging in actual economic activity involving Bitcoin. Most discussions have been limited to English language outlets controlled by Roger Ver1 (WOT:nonperson) and Chinese language outlets similarly removed from actual economic activity despite occasional appearances by miners.

Meanwhile the price reported by fiat/Bitcoin interfaces remain above where it was when the ClassicCoin coup was defeated, which is above where it was when the ClassicCoin Coup was unveiled, which is above where it was when the XTCoin coup was defeated, which is still further above where it was when the XTCoin coup was unveiled.

Beyond all this drama and distraction the miner subsidy halving looms and the economic deterrent to unwelcome forks abides. Sorry for your loss.

  1. Who notably is no longer unable to travel to the United States. As Roger Ver did not arrive on a ship and take the place over, it is probably he made one or more deals with people.  ↩

Microsoft Withdraws Paid Fitness App, Existing Users To Lose Access

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It appears Microsoft is on the Transmayo Transition Train with the company withdrawing the Xbox Fitness App from their marketplace. The app which allowed XBox One users to "purchase" a variety of fitness videos to fight the potential for Obeastiality in their own lives, will become unusable to those who paid on July 1st, 2017. It is unknown how many butter golems at Microsoft's XBox division were so triggered by the idea of people not being fellow lardbarges, that they decided they just had to turn XBox fitness into an instrument of theft.