Category Archives: The Law

What Is The Difference Between Bill Clinton And Bill Cosby? – A Qntest with Bitcoin Prizes

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In yet another leak of emails from Hillary "Clitler" Rodham-Clinton's campaign and political party, it was revealed that the staff was concerned that the media would ask about the difference between Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby's private treatment of women. To celebrate the mainstream media's failure to ask this question we will be holding our first Qntest Bitcoin give away. The five best jokes of the form:

Q: What Is The Difference Between Bill Clinton And Bill Cosby?

A: White Priviledge!1

presented in the comments to this post will each win a one bitcent2 prize with an arbitrary bonus between 1 and 9999 Satoshis3 provided to promote the cardinal virtue of unfairness.

Full Qntest Rules:

  1. To be eligible for prizes an entry must be accompanied by a valid Bitcoin address in the same comment as the joke being entered into the Qntest.
  2. A valid Bitcoin address is a pay to public key hash address that begins 1. Supposed pay to script hash addresses beginning with 3 are eligible for enprizement, but at a future point may be eligible for your loss.
  3. Submissions must survive the comment spam filter unscathed. Maximize your chances for success by using well structured grammar and not including external links to domains popular with spammers. Youtube.com, Twitter.com, Tumblr.com, and any other domain not under your own control is best assumed to be popular with spammers. If your comment does not appear immediately that does not mean it was killed by the spam filter, it may be pending approval.
  4. Final determinations for prize awarding will be made by the Editor in Chief who will also be funding the prizes. The prize awarding transaction will be accompanied by a 0.001 BTC transaction fee to ensure speedy delivery.
  5. The deadline for entries is November 9th, 2016. Awards will be announced and prizes paid by November 15th, 2016.

  1. This was an example, and it is now taken. You must be creative now.  ↩

  2. Officially defined as 0.01 BTC ↩

  3. Officially designated as 0.00000001 to 0.00009999 BTC for a total individual prize between 0.01000001 and 0.01009999 BTC ↩

Ethereum Security Still Ethereal, Has Yet To Appear After Hard Forks

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The recent hard fork has failed to protect the ETH huffer ecosystem as yet another serious vulnerability was discovered in the Mist implementation, affecting all versions "including and prior to 0.8.6".

– From the Ethereum blog:

Mist is leaks (sic) some low level APIs which Dapps could use to gain access to the computers file system and read/delete files. This would only affect you if you navigate to an untrusted Dapp, which knows about this vulnerabilities and specifically tries to attack users. Upgrading Mist is highly recommended to prevent any exposure to attacks.

The severity of the bug is listed as high, and can be triggered by merely visiting a webpage containing malicious code or dapp. It finally occurred to the Mist developers that it might be a good idea to add the platform to the bug bounty program, whose fund is sure to be rapidly depleted considering the pace at which new bugs are discovered in this flaming-tire-in-a-shitpit of a platform. Pope Buterin inspired many lulz this week by tweeting "Who says Ethereum is "failing"? Pulling off HFs in 6 days b/w 5 clients with no consensus failures in 1 year is success to me." Consensus seems to be that he is now using scented rose-tinted glasses to cover up the offending smells that continuously emanate from the project.

Peace On Earth: AdultFriendFinder Data Liberated Again

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Just in time for the coming holiday season, security news site sophos reports that Peace may still be amongst us despite reports an aspect of the notorious quiet and tranquility may have been arrested at the behest of the US government. In an interview with Motherboard last week Peace stated he was responsible for the latest AdultFriendFinder breach, and had given “everything, all [FriendFinder Network],” to other hackers. AFF confirmed this stating:

We are aware of reports of a security incident, and we are currently investigating to determine the validity of the reports. If we confirm that a security incident did occur, we will work to address any issues and notify any customers that may be affected.

Peace further stated to Motherboard that the current breach was accomplished by opening "a backdoor that had been publicized on the hacking forum Hell" The Russian language forum was the site where the data from the previous hack was listed for sale at a price of 70 BTC. Information to corroborate the veracity of his claims was sent to Motherboard, and was verified by an independent security researcher Dan Tentler (WoT:nonperson). Tentler said the files contained employee names, their home IP addresses, and SSH keys used for remote access to AdultFriendFinder's servers.

Him In Our Time.

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 11 (TM)(R)

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Welcome to the eleventh edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • The United States Department of State has rejected offers for international elections observers to oversee the Untied States Presidential election on November 8th. The Department of State was headed by candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton until she stepped down to focus on her campaign. Traditionally the US Department of State has been a huge fan of sending international observers to oversee other countries elections.
  • A free trade deal between the European Union and Canada is being blocked by the brave Parliament of Wallonia. This French speaking region of Belgium is sticking it to the socialist Merkel led European government in Brussels by executing veto power over the treaty which would end 98% of the current tariffs between Merkel's 4th Reich and Canada. For their bravery the Walloons are being slandered in the mainstream press as "The Detroit" of Europe.
  • Thousands of former members of the United States armed forces who served in the past decades' misadventures in Southwest Asia are being compelled to repay their enlistment bonuses. These financial incentives were used to lure the affected veterans to fight in these wars in the first place as enthusiasm to fight in the desert was low when these bonuses were offered. Apparently all these years later the Department of "Defense" has decided it didn't really need these people fighting after all. This desperate financial move by the Department of "Defense" is not bullish for their ability to attract future volunteers during times where manpower is needed.
  • Donald Trump-Clinton was booed by New York elites at a fundraising dinner for Catholic charities after brining up anti papist positions espoused by Hillary Rodham-Clinton and her advisers in wikileaked communications.
  • ViaBTC continues to both exhibit unwarranted self importance and draw an excess of media attention. The Marshall Long affiliated mining operation bills itself as the "most professional" mining pool.
  • Blockstream is setting a target for this November to activate Jim Crow for transaction signatures.
  • Russia Today had their British bank accounts closed.
  • Accidental gay spat / pussy grabbing at random starlet's home.
  • Hillary Rodham-Clinton's fundraisers were further revealed to despair of ever receiving support from Bitcoin due to the fact the other team takes Bitcoin and the inherently conservative nature of Bitcoin.
  • Ecuador cut off internet access for their guest Julian Assange.
  • In a headline this week CoinTelegraph asked:

    What Stands in the Way of Bitcoin Mass Adoption in Africa?

    The answer continues to be the impossibility of mass adoption. Also Africa.

  • R3, the fiat effort that Mike Hearn quit pretending to be a part of Bitcoin to join admitted it has substantial budget difficulties. For details refer to the third bullet point of this Roundup Xtend (TM)(R).
  • The University of Missouri football team lost their homecoming game against unranked non-conference opponent Middle Tennessee. Last year the University's Board of Curators surrendered to demands placed by members of the football team in order to resolve a strike. The University has been rewarded so far this year with a two win five loss record with no wins in conference play. The 51 points allowed by Missouri were the most against a non-conference opponent at home since 1944.

Sorry for your loss.

Probable Aspect Of Peace On Earth Arrested While The Notorious Quiet And Tranquility Evades Capture

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Reports are emerging that an arrest has been made in the 2012 liberation of passwords from LinkedIn. Police and representatives from LinkedIn allege that Yevgeniy Nikulin is a aspect of the transcendental state commonly referred to as "Peace" acting as an instrument of that notorious quiet and tranquillity on Earth. Nikulin was arrested at a hotel in Prague though law enforcement declined to publicise the arrest until this week, likely in order to harass and entrap other information freedom advocates in communion with Peace.

In recent years Peace appears have been losing interest in Earth and humanity at an accelerating rate as evidenced by escalating violence in places as geographically disparate as Chicago, Nineveh, and James Lafond Presents Baltimore. In fact the alleged aspect of Peace on Earth collapsed after being handcuffed and required hospitalization which suggests that this police aggression caused the vitality of Peace to leave his body.

Peace can not surrender to man. Man must surrender to Him. His will and life, not yours.

Quid Pro Quo And Arkencide – A Special Roundup Xtend(TM)(R)

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On the eve of the final Presidential debate between leftist candidate Donald Trump-Clinton and still more leftist candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton, a veritable torrent of damaging information has continued to emerge about one of the candidates to muted mainstream response while the other one apparently likes girls to the mainstream's great consternation. Only the finest lulz are presented below:

  • In Hillsborough, North Carolina the local headquarters for the Republican Party1 was firebombed by terrorists. The attack was likely perpetrated by Brownshirts associated with the major socialist party. The terrorists not content to limit their message of hate to a firebomb covered the building with Nazi imagery in a celebration of their brand of Global Socialism as advanced by Hussein Bahamas and Hillary 'Clitler' Rodham-Clinton.
  • A recently set of leaks from the FBI reveals that Clitler aide Patrick Kennedy pressured the bureau to declassify a document emailed by Clinton. This enabled Clitler to hold a press conference and publicly declare her innocence of this particular crime she committed by stating the document is not classified though it was at the time she criminally mishandled classified information. In exchange for declassifying the document the FBI was granted permission to station more of their stooges abroad in a gratuitous example of quid pro quo.
  • Vince Foster, Ron Brown, Former President of the United Nations General Assembly John Ashe, and others known and unknown are still dead.
  • Donald Trump-Clinton's running mate and undisputed winner of the vice presidential debate Mike Pence endorsed Eric Greitens for Missouri Governor today. Greitens' campaign has leaned heavily on his prior employment as a Navy Seal and many of his early campaign ads consisted simply of Greitens firing weapons for the length of the TV spot.2 At present Eric Greitens is the most obvious beneficiary of Missouri Auditor and one time gubernatorial front runner Tom Schweich's untimely death.
  • Numerous women are speaking about Donald Trump-Clinton's alleged sexual advances towards them. These allegations began emerging approximately 4.5 weeks before election day. Though Donald Trump-Clinton has been publicly campaigning for President the past year and a half these allegations for some reason all waited until October to be voiced.
  • Donald Trump-Clinton has ramped up his allegations that this election is rigged in favor of Hillary 'Clitler' Rodham-Clinton. Trump's comments have highlighted the disproportionate mainstream media coverage given to his alleged defects of sexual character while Clitler's criminal actions as a government official which were contrary to the best interests of the United States get glossed over suggesting collusion. Donald Trump-Clinton further opened the question of how much deeper the collusion favoring Clitler's campaign is.

Reich in Peace.

  1. Also commonly known as the GOP, a minor socialist party in the United States.  ↩

  2. This approach has been emulated by major socialist party candidate for the United States Senate seat from Missouri Jason Kander who has taken to firing and field stripping weapons in his television advertisements.  ↩

Brit Faces Extradition For Trading On US Markets

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Preet, the physical manifestation of evil in our timesA British man faces extradition for trading securities on markets in the United States. "Authorities"1 accuse the man of placing orders in a manner that lead other traders to panic which was followed by a "flash crash" in the markets in which the man was trading. The man faces criminal charges in the United States despite the clear fact that the panic came from defects of character inherent in the other traders. They further allege his cancelling and changing orders amounted to "spoofing" though every man is rightly entitled to change his position based upon the best information available at the time, and time is always moving.

As the saying goes, "If you spot it, you got it." These so called authorities in the United States are clearly in the grips of fear that their beloved fiat fiction and its inherent fragility are the product of their own spoofing. Sorry for your loss.

  1. This is a code word for Preet Bharara.  ↩

ViaBTC Hash Power Halves After Joining Roger VERification Effort

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Following ViaBTC's announcement that they would be supporting the latest effort to fork an altcoin off of Bitcoin their hashpower has dropped by one half and is likely to drop further. The drop in hash rate appears to be due to miner defections. Since "Bitcoin Unlimited"1 became the favored effort pushed by social engineers like Roger Ver, it has been met with an even colder reception than previous forking efforts including Bitcoin XT and ClassicCoin, with the exception of ViaBTC's warm embrace.

ViaBTC is just the latest in a long line of pools to suffer after choosing their vision for the future poorly. Twenty two months after the publication of "The hard fork missile crisis" every aspiring hard fork away from Bitcoin has managed to defeat itself well before the solutions covered in that piece were required though they still abide.

Sorry fork, your loss!

  1. aka Unlimited Spam Coin  ↩

Huffers At Ether.Camp Baking Next "Smart Contract For Your Loss"

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Ether huffers are already working on their next large scale Sorry For Your Loss with a new type of "smart contract" that some are already calling "The DAO 2.0". The contract, dubbed "Hacker Gold" is sure to live up to it's name for would-be attackers, as some eagle-eyed users have already attempted to compile the code and found that it wouldn't. The creators at ether.camp responded that the code on github "isn't the final version". The creators are hoping to raise 50 million US dollars in funds through an ICO and have reportedly been using sock-puppet accounts on reddit to manipulate threads in r/startups and others, in an attempt to generate buzz. The ether.camp team has been mostly silent on the criticisms, apparently betting on the fact that if the initiative fails they can simply hard fork the coin and get everyone's money back like last time.

NSA Has A Booz Problem, A Special Roundup Xtend (TM)(R)

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This past week an alleged major leaker of NSA secrets has been arrested with terabytes of the stuff in his home and car. Like Edward Snowden, this information hoarder worked for NSA under contract from Booz Allen Hamilton. Rather than exploring alleged events, this Roundup Xtend (TM)(R) will explore the nature of NSA's Booz problem.

  1. NSA failed to admit zher powerlessness over Booz and that zher life had become unmanageable:

    As a fiat organization NSA faces many deep structural problems which make zher powerless over Booz. One is that far less people meet the fiat standards of NSA employment than there is makework that NSA has to have done according to standards from fiat. These competing fiat declarations mean people have to be brought in from outside to do all the work. Second the "favor" economy traditional in the fiat system means these competing demands will be sustained in order to create work for Booz as this fatal insanity continues to afflict zher.

  2. NSA failed to believe a higher power could restore zher to sanity:

    If NSA were aware of the insanity which followed the effective surrender of zher will and life over to Booz Allen Hamilton, perhaps zhe could begin to have the smallest inkling of faith that a power greater than zherself and Booz just might be able to turn zher onto a path towards sanity.

  3. NSA has yet to turn zher will and life over to God as NSA understands it:

    Sitting at the top of the United States' "intelligence" community the NSA played the director in zher own life. As the play went on under NSA's direction zhe became more demanding while still being increasingly gracious in zher relationship with Booz. As NSA continued trying to exercise zher will in this manner zhe suffered ever more Snowden and now suffers Harold T. Martin. As zhe intensifies zher efforts zhe receives only more Booz and more problems.

    Through surrendering zher will and life NSA can find a new freedom and a new happiness.

Peace in our time.