Reports are emerging that minor fiat/Bitcoin interfaces may suspend crediting deposits and allowing withdrawals in advance of the latest round of drama surrounding fake Bitcoin network forks. Readers are reminded that interacting with fiat tied institutions is a pursuit fraught with peril. All signs point to impending "your loss", we are very sorry.
Category Archives: Ransomware
Arkansas Plant Board Sends Emergency Dicamba Ban To Governor Amid "Continued Dicamba Destruction Xtend (TM)(R)"
In the second growing season since Monsanto released their "Xtend Crop System" featuring dicamba resistant soybeans and cotton, the Arkansas State Plant Board has been moved to propose an emergency ban on the in-crop use of dicamba outside of traditional applications of the herbicide to pasture land. The emergency ban now awaits the Governor's approval following an 11-3 endorsement by the Plant Board.
Monsanto's response to the proposed ban has been to point out that 33 other states have been perfectly happy telling their trees and non-Monsanto broad leaf crops to get fucked. Monsanto's Christi Dixon seriously proposes1 bailing out the customers of one her employer's products, a product which still grows and yields a crop without being "nourished" by this particular herbicide, by fucking everyone in Monsanto allowing territories over.
Enjoy the amber waves that did not live long enough to yield grain. Sorry for your loess.
Having her employer in the byline leads to the assumption that the work is not intended as a satirical piece ↩
Ethereum Blocks Way The Fuck Too Big: "Smart" Contract DDoS'ing Own "Initial Coin Offering" To Blame
The Bancor network, billed as a protocol for creating smart tokens using smart contracts on the Ethereum database was forced to alter the terms of its "initial coin offering" "due to massive malicious attacks on network & resulting pending transaction bottleneck". First thought by Ether huffers to be due to a bad actor attempting to prevent the "initial coin offering" from taking place, it was later discovered that transactions to the Bancor "smart" contract address itself was causing the DDoS attack on the network. During the course of the attack it was revealed that despite an advertised cap on the number of tokens proffered in the crowdsale, the contract owners could create new tokens at any time they liked at no additional cost. Despite the signs pointing to impending disaster and a possible repeat of history, the creators managed to capture over $150 million US dollars in the first 3 hours of the crowdsale.
After Snap Elections, Britain To Enter Brexit Negotiations Without A Majority Party In Parliament
In Britain, snap elections called by Theresa May have left her "Conservative" Party just short of the majority they enjoyed in parliament before May's decision to hold this latest round of elections three years early. With Brexit negotiations set to begin in two weeks, this outcome raises serious questions as to whether sinister continental European governments have meddled in the British election seeking an outcome like this one, favorable to the German pantsuits of "our democracy".
Careerist US Attorney Prosecutes Private Money For Property Exchange
Acting U.S. Attorney Tom Larson of the Western District of Missouri has prosecuting a case of exchanging money for property as a criminal act. The victim Jason R. Klein plead guilty to running an "illegal currency exchange" that per the prosecution only handled money on one side of the transaction as the other side of the transaction was property. Had the case been prosecuted to a verdict in favor of the prosecution, it would have set a precedent for prosecuting any transactions between private parties.
Tom Larson is a careerist employed by the US Attorney's office for the Western District of Missouri since 1980 before finding himself in this interim leadership position. This is a typical career path of least resistance undertaken by swamp creatures embedded as obstacles to The Great Again.
Cost Of Running Shitware Continues Bull Run To The Moon
A rash of ransomware attacks utilizing Microsoft exploits once exclusive to apparatus of USG oppression have crippled loyal shitware customers including the UK's socialized medical system, Fedex, and numerous banks. The rapidity with which the program known as WCry colonized Windows machines compelled Microsoft to issue security patches addressing this particular exploit for long unsupported products in an effort to stem the bleeding. The increasing effectiveness of ransomware attacks in concert with continued fiat currency malaise that threatens to take the US dollar below 1/2000th of a Bitcoin1 is driving the cost of continuing to run shitware for any purpose to the moon.
With many more exploits liberated from the cellars of the USG.NSA and USG.CIA, this front presents an incredible ongoing peril afflicting fiat interests that is unlikely to be relieved any time soon.2
Post Production To Ransom To Torrent Pipeline Growing
A hacker known as `darkoverlord` released the entire upcoming season of the Netflix series “Orange Is the New Black” on Saturday after he said the network failed to meet his ransom demands, and threatens to release content pilfered from other studios that refuse his requests. Larson Studios, a post-production company for major television and movie studios in Los Angeles, is the apparent source of the breach and the hacker claims to be in possession of yet unreleased content from ABC, Fox, National Geographic and IFC. Reports indicate that the FBI had knowledge of the hacks as early as January, but in typical fashion did not notify the affected parties of their Sorry For Your Loss until about a month ago.
The attacker appears to be a very busy entity, having been named as the responsible party for a breach of the Indiana charity the Little Red Door Cancer Services. thedarkoverlord deleted all of the organizations main and backup servers and demanded a 50 BTC ransom to restore their data, which they were unable to pay. The moniker has also popped up on darknet website "TheRealDeal" where they attempted to sell healthcare and insurance information obtained in at least 3 other breaches for various prices denominated in Bitcoin.
The other affected television networks have declined comment regarding taunts made by the attacker on twitter. Netflix only responded so far as to say they were aware of the events and were placing their full trust in "Law Enforcement Authorities" to fix the situation.
Balance Of Buttfunex "Cold Storage" Address Down 50 kiloBitcoin And Falling
Bitfinex death watch continues with the address declared to be their "cold storage" down 50,000 Bitcoins and counting. This comes as Buttfunex's fait banking partners have ceased processing fiat withdrawals from this fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interface. Sorry for your loss… butt fun while it lasted.
Buttfunex's Fiat Banking Partners Move Towards Becoming Ex's
Bitfinex self reported that their fiat-side banking partners in the Republic of China1 are going to soon stop doing banking work for them on the bank's initiative. This is in line with the other China's attitude towards their fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interfaces. Sorry for your loss, butt fun while it lasted.
also known as Taiwan, Island China, or Little China ↩
Hussein Bahamas Advisor Susan Rice Fingered As Surveillance To Political Operatives Conduit
Numerous sources are fingering Hussein Bahamas advisor Susan Rice as the conduit who carried so called "incidentally collected" surveillance on US President Trump and his associates to the rest of Hussein Bahamas political operatives. Jeff Bezos run fake news outlets under the "Washington Post" label are predictably running pieces alleging that not only did Susan Rice not do such a thing, but she should have because it would be "Right, Good, and Proper"(TM)(R).1
The same outlets have run a piece of speculative fiction supposing an American "Reichstag Fire" which would subvert the "rule of law" pretense. Unfortunately the piece was published 5684 days after September 11, 2001. ↩