Arkansas Plant Board Sends Emergency Dicamba Ban To Governor Amid "Continued Dicamba Destruction Xtend (TM)(R)"

In the second growing season since Monsanto released their "Xtend Crop System" featuring dicamba resistant soybeans and cotton, the Arkansas State Plant Board has been moved to propose an emergency ban on the in-crop use of dicamba outside of traditional applications of the herbicide to pasture land. The emergency ban now awaits the Governor's approval following an 11-3 endorsement by the Plant Board.

Monsanto's response to the proposed ban has been to point out that 33 other states have been perfectly happy telling their trees and non-Monsanto broad leaf crops to get fucked. Monsanto's Christi Dixon seriously proposes1 bailing out the customers of one her employer's products, a product which still grows and yields a crop without being "nourished" by this particular herbicide, by fucking everyone in Monsanto allowing territories over.

Enjoy the amber waves that did not live long enough to yield grain. Sorry for your loess.


  1. Having her employer in the byline leads to the assumption that the work is not intended as a satirical piece  

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