RBG Black Rebel Sentenced For Tweeting Link And Boosting Website Traffic

Alleged Rebel But Gangster Black Rebels member Justin Payne was sentenced to 12 months in prison on a misdemeanor computer tampering charge for tweeting a link to the St. Louis County Police  Association website which caused the site to go down as it was unequipped to handle the traffic being tweeted by the RBG Black Rebels brings. Prosecutors, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the police officer's union, and apparently even Payne's own lawyer believed this act constituted a "cyber attack" even though legitimate traffic through an effect once known as "Slashdotting" is often capable of taking down poorly provisioned websites. Payne faces a further 18 month in prison for a felony "possession of an unregistered destructive device" charge related to a Molotov cocktail allegedly found in Payne's vehicle when he was arrested at his place of employment the Veterans Affairs Records Management Center. Local and mainstream outlets have been alternatively referring to Payne's Molotov cocktail as a "fire bomb" and "improvised incendiary device" presumably to boost their own profiles since #terrorism seems to be trending in the media.

Tesla Mimicks VW In Own Nitrous Oxide Scandal

Reports are in that Tesla Motors, the explicitly green-washed and implicitly USG-backed electric car company, is struggling to meet California's strict nitrous oxide (NOx) emissions standards (archived). Readers will recall that this is in fact the same air pollutant that embroiled German carmaker Volkswagen in its recent "dieselgate" scandal. Continue reading

United States Revives Export-Import Bank

The United States Congress has passed and President Hussein Bahamas has signed a reauthorization for the United States Export-Import bank. The United States Export-Import bank as previously mentioned on Qntra acts as an open ended subsidy for Boeing and select other businesses servicing the interests of the socialist United States Government. The reauthorization happened the same day the director of the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation acknowledged an otherwise routine mass shooting even two days earlier had allegedly been carried out by a wedded couple with ties to ISIS.

LA Proposal Attacks Prositution And Marital Harmony At Same Time

Los Angeles City Council member Nury Martinez introduced a measure which would use license plate reader to assault domestic tranquillity in the city. The proposal advanced by Martinez would use license plate readers to identify cars travelling through areas "known" to have thriving street prostitution industries and then send letters to the vehicle's registered owners saying roughly:

We saw your car in a area alleged to have a thriving prostitution scene.

Nury Martinez has offered no information on how much she expects spouses opening such letters to increase the incidence of domestic violence in Los Angeles.

US Securities And Exchange Commission Indicts GAW Over Ponzi

More than a year after GAW Miners was initially indicted on Qntra following earlier skepticism, the United States Securities and Exchange commission has finally decided to follow suit by issuing charges against GAW's Homero J. Garza. Email dumps beginning in March 2015 offered particularly damning evidence on Garza and GAW's operations. It seems however the Preet Bhararas of the United States criminal production system were too busy to act on anything until a year after the GAW scam had begun collapsing on itself and a full 10 months after GAW's last shills were silenced by a lack of payment.

Disgraced Gavin of "Global Warming" Government-Scaling "Debate" Moves On to Alt-Kook

We find (from the Washington Правда) that James Hansen (conspiracist nutjob chiefly famous for going on about "global warming" long before it became the official USG party line) has moved on to playing with the little rocks on President Bahamas' beaches. Continue reading

Breaking: Suspected Lone Gunman Wounds 3 (Update: 5) Colorado Police Officers, Still At Large

Reports are emerging from Colorado Springs that a Planned Parenthood political health clinic is under assault by an active shooter who has wounded at least three four five police officers and inflicted unknown civilian casualties (archived). As of this publication time, the shooter is still outside of police custody and presumed to be alive. A motive for the attack is undetermined with possibilities ranging from anger about abortion, to a desire to kill police officers, or even annoyance that the political health clinic inundates him with fundraising spam. The shooter reportedly is using a "high powered rifle."

Update: A suspect has allegedly been taken in to police custody alive.

Montana Standard 'Outing' Pseudonymous Commenters

Butte, Montana newspaper the "Montana Standard" plans to retroactively display the "real" names of commenters who previously commented anonymously or under pseudonyms (archived). Commenters have until December 26th to opt out by contacting the paper to have their comments removed. "Real Name" comment policies are something of a fad in old media circles, with the idea being tying comments to the author's real name would encourage a higher standard of discussion as though spammers, idiots, and social engineers don't already have or can't create "real" enough names already.

North Carolina State Troopers On Food Stamps

In yet another example of provincial governments in the United States being unable to keep their promises of largess, a class action suit with half of North Carolina's State Police force joined as members alleges the state owes them substantial back pay and other promised compensation (archived). Some of the troopers are reportedly having to supplement their wages from the state with food stamps, Medicaid,  and supplementary employment. North Carolina instituted pay freezes for state troopers in 2009. This move in addition to allowing the state to shift the burden of covering the cost of nutrition and medical care for trooper's families offers further savings to North Carolina's government as the lower frozen wage rate is used in retirement calculations for troopers leaving the force. Continue reading

President Hussein Bahamas Ends National Security Speech With "Happy Thanksgiving"

President Bahamas

In a nationally televised speech to residents of the United States President Hussein Bahamas ended his missive on the grave threat posed to the United States by ISIL with "Happy Thanksgiving" today. Whether President Hussein Bahamas is thankful for the lack of knowledge of imminent threats as he professed or the recent escalation of centuries old tensions between Turkey and Russia is undetermined.