Coinbase Login Woes Rumored As Price Reported By fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Moves

As the price reported by fiat/Bitcoin interfaces has begun a steep climb self described Coinbase users are reporting issues logging into their accounts on the platform. There is a healthy spread of nearly 30 United States dollars per Bitcoin across fiat/Bitcoin interfaces with BTCChina leading the upward movement and reporting ~860 United States dollars per Bitcoin. Sorry for your loss.

Bitcoin Price Outlook: Magenta Possible In 2017

Continued disconnect between sanctioned fiat/Bitcoin interfaces and informed trades converting these two different kinds of currency suggest fiat/Bitcoin interfaces may begin reporting Magenta as a price by the end of 2017. Other outlets are projecting the US dollar may fall to 1/2000th to 1/2100th some time in 2017 based on inflation, interest rates, and the strength of the dollar which they predict to all rise with the inauguration and summoning of The Great Again. Such projections gravely underestimate the existing strain on the tenuous connections between the various fiat/Bitcoin interfaces and reality.1 Sorry for your loss.


  1. From The Delusionists at Bitstamp:

    Subject: Qualifying Investors Can Now Invest in Bitstamp & Get a 24-hour Head Start
    Date: Tue, 06 Dec 2016 21:39:10 -0000

    Dear customers,

    I have some news I would like to share with you. In response to high levels of demand from our stakeholders, we are today offering savvy investors the opportunity to take an equity stake in Bitstamp on <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">BnkToTheFuture.com</a>, a global online investment platform that allows qualifying investors to invest in the future of finance and technology. As you would expect, bitcoin is of course accepted!

    With venture capitalist Pantera Capital having already invested USD 10 million in seed funding, we feel confident that the smart money is on us. You are more than welcome to join us as we continue to bring prudence and sanity to our industry.

    Operating as we do in a fledgling market with huge potential for growth, we are firmly of the opinion that the early bird does indeed catch the worm. This opportunity for qualifying investors to invest in Bitstamp is no                             different and could very well turn out to be the best way to welcome in your 2017, a year which holds great promise for our industry.

    To get things up and running, we are giving Bitstamp customers a 24-hour head start before we go live on <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">BnkToTheFuture.com</a>. The round will close on 24 January 2017. Click <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">here</a> now to find out more and see if you qualify!

    As ever, thank you for your continued loyalty and support. I look forward to welcoming you on board as a Bitstamp investor.

    Best,
    Nejc Kodric
    CEO, Bitstamp

     

Another Spam Tipping Service Emerges To Fill Invisible Void

Not learning from the failures of former spam service Changetip a new "tipping" service, CoinTip, has now sprung up on twitter and has reddit hopeful they will expand their services to the platform. The creators of CoinTip are none other than Janom, founder of Japan's Monacoin exchange site. Monacoin briefly was a trendcoin across Japan, and like other ill-fated alts is now barely worth pennies on most exchanges. It is likely that CoinTip will suffer the same fate, being used to spam fractions of a bitcent for worthless content across social media until users realize they don't need third party services to send coins.

Last Remains Of ChangeTip To Be Buried

Spam "Bitcoin" tipping service ChangeTip has finally decided to bury the rotting corpse of its company, months after most of it's employees were acquired by AirBNB.

Reddit user Nick_Changetip stated the following in their reddit announcement:

In the spring of 2016, ChangeTip’s employees were acqui-hired by Airbnb, where most of us work today. Since then, we’ve been searching for the best outcome for ChangeTip, and unfortunately the only remaining option is to shut it down.

At the end of November 2016, all tipping functionality will be deactivated, and the site will be put into withdrawal-only mode for people to collect their funds. The site will remain up for a number of months to allow users to withdraw their funds, and we will be reaching out to users to notify them.

We recommend you close your ChangeTip account. You may withdraw any remaining funds via BTC withdrawal, or you can donate your funds to Charity when you close your account from the settings page.

The move marks an end to the lulz that have graced the pages of Qntra on several occasions. Victoria van Eyk (WOT:nonperson) was unable to be reached for comment on the announcement.

Phuctor Reveals 1 in ~2700 SSH-capable Machines On The Internet Still "Debianized"

Phuctor is a public service operated by S.NSA. It catalogues extant RSA public keys which are inexpensively breakable by any known means.

A short "trip down memory lane" is in order. From 2006 to 2008, Debian shipped with a sabotaged SSH key generator — which was capable of producing strictly 32768 distinct private keys of any given length.

According to Official Truth, this particular story ended in 2008, when the Debian "bug" was fixed. But in reality, a carefully-engineered boobytrap is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

Phuctor has been digesting SSH keys obtained from a scan of the complete IPv4 space since June of 2016. These have yielded, and continue to yield, breakable RSA moduli.

On Wednesday, November the 16th, factors from 168923 trivially-breakable "Debianized" RSA keys1 were added to Phuctor's database. This resulted in a discovery of 1366 distinct hits, distributed across 689 newly-broken RSA moduli. The count of RSA SSH keys (each found at a particular scanned IP, and not necessarily unique) present in Phuctor's database at the time was 2941798. The 689 moduli represented a set of 1074 IP addresses where a machine had responded to an SSH query.2

This leads us to an interesting conclusion: roughly 1 in 2700 SSH-capable machines in the IPv4 space is actively making use of a "Debianized" SSH key, even today; its traffic is effortlessly transparent to enemy eyes.

Peace in our time, shitgnomes!


  1. Many of these Linux boxes are likewise using a "Debianized" SSH key for remote login. And if you, the reader, can find and forensically-instrument such a machine, it may prove to be an excellent source of NSAware for the discerning entomologist.  

  2. Plus one other very peculiar key, appearing to belong to a USG provocateur organization called "Mayfirst". It seems to have started life as an SSH key, and is clearly Debianized, but it is not part of the set we converted to RFC4880 format for digestion in Phuctor. Instead, it had been gathered from SKS as part of Phuctor's original working set!  

ViaBTC Enters Contract Mining Scamspace

ViaBTC has announced their entry into the world of Bitcoin cloud-mining scams, offering hashrate sales of their S9 mining power for 0.21 BTC per 1 TH/s. The announcement also stated that users would be able to trade mining contracts in a similar manner to failed mining exchange cex.io.

Our cloud mining exchange platform is under development and will be soon integrated into www.viabtc.com. At that time users can freely trade their cloud mining contracts. Early-stage contract holders can direct their contacts to www.viabtc.com then by signing their wallet addresses.

ViaBTC further stated that "Redemption of miners and change of mining pool are not available for the contract" ensuring that suckers for the scam are not able to use the purchased hashpower on any competing pool or fork.

The recent moves seem to be the death rattles of Roger Ver's latest attempt to stage a coup, having failed to bribe Venezuelan miners to join his revolution. ViaBTC pool stands at ~7% of total network hashrate at the time of this article.

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 14 (TM)(R) – The Great Again Cometh

Welcome to the fourteenth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • Violent protests continue in major American metropolitan centers as NEETs continue adapting to their new employment. Amid the continued economic stimulus wrought by the mere likelihood of The Great Again, one protester in Portland was shot by an African American male in his late teens who fired into the crowd and fled by motor carriage.
  • An 18 year old student at the University of Louisiana Lafayette faces charges of filing a false police report after she confessed that she falsified her initial report that two white men attacked her and stole her hijab. She admitted that she was actually not attacked. There is no word on what actions may be taken against her by the University of Louisiana Lafayette for her bias incident intended to incite crime against white men.
  • This week's altcoin drawing unwarranted attention is "our democracy".
  • Numerous similar unsubstantiated reports of attacks against persons who are not white men have been receiving substantial attention in the mainstream media without any details being provided. The attacks are simply being referred to as a "wave" with few particular incidents at all being described. Meanwhile numerous racially motivated attacks against white men and women are being committed with the attackers assuming their victims must have voted for Trump due to their whiteness.
  • Vagrant "overdoses" continue in downtown St Louis. There still have been no fatalities reported, but the number of vagrants hospitalized is approaching one hundred.
  • Social media has been flooded by calls for violence by radical leftists in the United States following a dramatic defeat of the country's major socialist party in the recent election. The major socialist party lost on nearly every single national or statewide office on the ballot outside of Illinois and municipal offices in urban metropolitan areas.
  • Four Americans, two soldiers and two contractors, were killed during a bombing inside Bagram Air base in Afghanistan. The bomber was also killed in the blast.
  • The Trans Pacific Partnership trade agreement is now dead. The two thousand plus page agreement negotiated in secret required an untold number of bureaucrat centuries to compile.
  • The manner in which the Trumpreich will obliterate Obamacare is in flux with congressional members of the GOP supposing to fill the void with a less oppressive but equally spendy beast that will continue throw value into the financial black hole that is the American healthcare system.
  • Marine La Pen's chances of becoming the next French prime minister continue to improve as called on Qntra back in June.
  • Colin Kaepernick, Blaine Gabbert's backup quarterback, after protesting American politics by kneeling during the national anthem confession that he did not care about American politics enough to vote in the election.
  • After a brief fundraising boom, OpenBSD is failing to meet their new, more ambitious fundraising goals. The amount of funds presently raised however appears sufficient to keep the lights on.
  • There is speculation that "our democracy" will handle the question of Hillary Rodham-Clinton and Huma Weiner's criminal activity by opening token prosecutions of the two allowing Hussein Bahamas to officially pardon them to avoid prevent actual prosecution via the constitutional prohibition on "double jeopardy".
  • Many who warned of the crisis to "our democracy" presented if Trump and his supporters refused to accept the election's outcome are now refusing to accept the election's outcome, if that wasn't clear already from recent events.
  • In spite of the campaign to replace the United States Government with the Trumpreich's promises to drain the swamp in the US capital, there has been no discussion of any particulars regarding dykes, weirs, or pumps to conduct the necessary removal of water. Everything has been focused on the removal of socialist politruks.
  • There is an outstanding demand for to replace the antiquated Reich's domain name system with a Republican alternative.

Uncertainty reigns as The Great Again approaches. Keep coming back and wait for The Great Again to happen.

Duterte Welcomes US Trumpreich And Looks Forward To Warm Relations

Phillipine President Rodrigo Duterte (WOT:unknown/undisclosed) said he was a "small molecule" compared to the United States President Elect and said he would honor agreements between the Phillipines and the incoming United States government. Duterte praised their shared "passion to serve".Previously Duterte called the lame duck President Hussein Bahamas a "son of a whore" causing the outgoing US President to cancel a meeting at ASEAN over his hurt feelings.