AT&T has announced a "limited rollout" of their new vaporware 5G Evolution network for Samsung Galaxy S8 devices in Austin, Texas soon. The company, which is currently the second-largest mobile services provider in the United States, assures customers that speeds on the network will be "twice as fast" as their current 4G LTE network offerings though the fine print in their press release states that these are “forward-looking statements that are subject to risks and uncertainties, and actual results may differ materially.” The announcement is likely a re-branding of their current 4G offerings created to foster competition with their main competitor Verizon Wireless, which outbid AT&T for a large portion of the 5G wireless spectrum in January. The goal is to have the non-existent network available in 20 metropolitan locations by the end of the year.
Category Archives: Altcoins
Echos Of The Great Again: France Pits Moderate Populist Against Hard Left Socialist In General Election
This weekend France conducted the first round of their presidential elections narrowing the field to moderate populist Marine Le Pen and hard left socialist Macron. Le Pen was identified by Qntra as the favorite to become the next French president back in June of 2016. Macron on the other hand is a long time member of one of France's establishment socialist parties and has a pronounced sexual interest in the elderly. The French fake news media has been assisting Macron's campaign by ignoring his substantial record and fraudulently painting his campaign as outsider and populist. All candidates of France's established parties with a history of holding the presidency were shut out of the final round due to insufficient favorable ballots.
The final round of voting will take place on May 7th, 2017.
"Terror In Their Hearts" Syrian Refugees Settled In North Saint Louis Seek New Refugee Status Due To Neighbourhood Violence
This week Saint Louis radio station KMOX allegedly received a letter from Syrian refugees settled in North Saint Louis which they translated as stating the refugees had "terror in their hearts" following a home invasion. Further allegations per the radio station's aired portions of the translation include:
- The locals who participated in the home invasion expressed interest in abducting their children.
- When they go out in public pictures are taken of their children by the locals.
- They are afraid to leave their home due to the ambient level of violence in the neighborhood.
KMOX radio host Charlie Brennan who presented the allegations in the letter has yet to publish the full letter in a legible venue, but local police dispute details including the fixation on the children as a cultural misunderstanding. The home invasion and extraordinary ambient level of violence however are in line with other reports from the North Saint Louis conflict zone. Brennan proposed resettling now double refugees in Ballwin, Missouri.
The Syrian refugees were resettled in the North Saint Louis conflict zone by the "International Institute of Saint Louis", an immigration and refugee settlement organization aligned with leftist political causes and located in the trendy, hip Tower Grove East neighborhood of Saint Louis City.
Plastc – Crowdfunded "Credit Card Of The Futures" Goes SFYL
Backers of fiat vaporware company Plastc are feeling the sting of a 9 Million USD Sorry For Your Loss after their pre-orders were abruptly cancelled this week when executives announced instead a shutdown and bankruptcy filing. The company, which once promised consumers one credit and debit card to rule all their various cards, lost two investment deals back-to-back, of $3.5 million and $6.75 million USD respectively and filed for US Bankruptcy protection on Thursday. All customer support personnel and social media managers have been laid off, leaving persons who pre-ordered no product and no avenue by which to find out when, if any, of their monies invested will be recouped. (archived)
Elon Musk Presents Tesla Motors Presents: Parking Brake Recall
Tesla Motors, an Elon Musk Production presents a recall of Model X minivans and Model S sedans over a parking brake manufacturing flaw which may lead the parking brake to fail to disengage. When this manufacturing flaw is realized the affected vehicle's parking brake engages and due to mechanical failures can not be disengaged without repairing broken components. As Tesla abandoned implementing parking pawls in their automatic transmissions following misadventures with the widely adopted technology in initial Roadster model, Tesla vehicles have relied on the parking brake alone to secure them in a stationary position.
Balance Of Buttfunex "Cold Storage" Address Down 50 kiloBitcoin And Falling
Bitfinex death watch continues with the address declared to be their "cold storage" down 50,000 Bitcoins and counting. This comes as Buttfunex's fait banking partners have ceased processing fiat withdrawals from this fiat emphasized fiat/Bitcoin interface. Sorry for your loss… butt fun while it lasted.
Easter Manhunt In US
Americans are kept awake as an alleged serial killer eludes law enforcement for more than half a day on what is commonly referred to by hypocrites as the anniversary of their lord's resurrection. Many notice the disconnect between NSA's supposed ability to spy on everybody, and the ongoing inability of the agency to catch a man who broadcast one of his murders live on a popular circle jerk web platform via his cellular telephone. Despite this brief foray into sanity, they fail to recognize that such tools exist for the sole purpose of maintaining a pretense of U.S. Government importance, and that aimless mass shooters pose no threat to it. Amidst vain prayers for the alleged victim are expressions of outrage over the published video of his death, mooed by barely literate cows who have long been oblivious to the fact that these kinds of senseless killings take place on a daily basis throughout the world. It hasn't yet sunk in for those too lazy to read the log that the United States is the new Brazil; soon to be the new Argentina.
US Department of "Justice" Absconding With Botnet In Spanish Arrest
Fresh on the heels of an arresting alleged hacker Peter Levashov in Spain, the Department of Justice announced plans to disable a botnet – known as Kelihos – they claim was under his control and used to send spam emails and infect systems with ransomware. Acting assistant attorney-general Kenneth Blanco said the operation will "redirect Kelihos-infected computers to a substitute server", in order to block communications between infected devices and the botnet server, instead redirecting the compromised machines to the DOJ's own botnet servers. Levashov reportedly had been operating the botnet since 2010, and targeted computers running all variants of Microsoft Windows, the preferred target OS of botnet harvesters worldwide. The Department of Justice statement concluded by stating that "The US government will share samples of the malware with antivirus vendors in facilitate updates to their programs which will allow them to detect and remove Kelihos" while leaving government backdoors firmly in place.
Altcointradingbot.io Is Very Sorry For Your Loss
Shitcoin traders using the altcoinbot.io system were reporting a series of losses this morning due to a "security flaw" that sold all their Bitcoin and other altcorn for obscure cryptocurrency Rubycoin (RBY). The bitcointalk announcement for the bot, naturally posted by a unknown newbie member with no credentials, bills itself as needing no human intervention and is designed for users "seeking for 20-50-200% profit per trade". The bot only trades using the Baloney exchange API, and the only response from the developer on tardstalk being a cryptic "WARNING! Please disable your API key ASAP! Site might have a security issue! Thanks!" At the time of this article, the altcoinbot.io site was down showing only a cloudflare "Web Server is Down" message and no information was available as to the total amount of Sorry for Your Loss that has occurred due to running untested software by persons not in the Web of Trust.
Dallas Storm/Raid Sirens Pose Interesting Ransomware Potential
Dallas, Texas officials are still attempting to figure out who hacked into the city's emergency warning system Friday night, setting off all 156 sirens across the city and inundating the 911 center with calls from concerned residents. The warning system, which alert residents to severe weather or other public emergencies, was likely breached by someone within close proximity to the Dallas area according to city spokeswoman Sana Syed. Budding Sherlock and Mayor Mike Rawlings said this was "evidence of a need to upgrade and safeguard the city's technology infrastructure", since this obviously wasn't being done before.
The attacker was able to turn the sirens back on 15 times in a 90 minute period, thwarting technicians trying to stop them. City officials were forced to contact the Federal Communications Commission for assistance when it became obvious they were unable to prevent the hackers from rearming the system again once shut off, and were hopeful the system would be restored to "normal operations" again by the end of the weekend, likely meaning returning it to its former state and hoping no one breaks it again.