Author Archives: Aaron 'BingoBoingo' Rogier

GMO Superweed Approved For Commercial Sale In Waning Days Of Hussein Bahamas USDA

Posted on by

The United States Department of Agriculture lead by Hussein Bahamas appointee Tom Vilsack has approved commercial sales of a Roundup (TM)(R) resistant superweed developed by Monsanto and Scotts Miracle-Gro. The superweed is a genetically modified strain of creeping bentgrass capable of wind driven cross pollination with other wild and cultivated bentgrasses. Trial crops of this noxious weed escaped containment in 2003 with feral populations being discovered periodically through 2011.

In developing the current protocol for eradicating feral Roundup resistant bentgrass in Oregon, emergency approval was granted to apply a pair of controlled herbicides in irrigation canals and waterways.

Creeping bentgrass is a commercially important weed which is undesirable pest in crop fields and home lawns. This grassy equivalent of vermin however enjoys a small niche use on golf course putting greens though in many regions better alternative turfs are available.

Enjoy the fruits of your povertree.

The Wail of "Our Democracy"! A Holiday Roundup Xtend Special Edition (TM)(R)

Posted on by

We bring tidings of lulz in this very Qntra Roundup Xtend Holiday Special Edition.

  • Following a recount of votes, Trump's margin of victory increased in the states where ballots were re-examined, and substantial voter fraud was uncovered in Michigan. It was revealed that in the democratic party stronghold of Detroit far more votes were initially counted than were actually cast, and this fraud favored Trump's challenger Hillary Rodham-Clinton. Officials in Detroit are attributing the fraud to "errors" involving faulty voting machines.  This news did not receive attention in the "mainstream" press.
  • Following a week long divide between the CIA and FBI on whether Russia influenced the election the two agencies came together to believe that Russia was probably involved. Further in a statement the US Secretary of Homeland Security and the Director of National Intelligence1 stated they believe that the sort of hacks observed could have only been ordered by senior Russian officials.
  • Wikileaks continues to assert that the leaked Democratic National Committee lulz came from a party insider.
  • A single spear phishing email reportedly compromised a number of servers at the United States' Department of Defense and the accounts of hundreds of senior officers including a number of Generals were compromised. As a result the Pentagon trashed the old machines, bought new machines, and bought new software licenses with which to refill the machines.
  • Media talking heads taking a "moderate" position on alleged Russian hacking are being moderate by suggesting Russia didn't hack voting machines, but instead "hacked" the voters through social engineering. To them this still amounts to unacceptable "foreign interference".
  • There is minimal discussion on the foreign interference on the election exercised by George Soros, The Guardian, Qatar, and numerous other supporters of Hillary Rodham Clinton's Democratic party.
  • The electoral college meets to submit the actual Presidential vote on Monday. Some especially butthurt fantasies involve the electors, selected for their history of party loyalty, might vote for someone other than the President elect. Another fantasy of the butthurt suggest their meeting be delayed until they can be "briefed" on all the "facts" concerning foreign interference in the election.2
  • Moves in fiat securities and bond markets suggest that with help from the guiding hand of the socialist controlled Federal Reserve, the president elect could be handed an fine handcrafted economic calamity early in his reign.
  • An informal poll of Hillary Rodham Clinton and Donald Trump voters3 suggests that 100% of them would have voted for Vladimir Putin if constitutional eligibility requirements for the Presidency were not a concern.

Peace in our uTime!

  1. Both political appointees from the side that lost the election.  ↩

  2. If such an unconstitutional delay was prolonged indefinitely Hussein Bahamas could conceivably serve as President for life.  ↩

  3. Two total respondents ↩

Bitcoin Network Difficulty Up ~8.16%, Yellen Announces Higher Interest Rate Target Hours Before Increase

Posted on by

The Bitcoin network mining difficulty increased from 286765766820.55041504 to 310153855703.43334961 for an approximately 8.1558 percent climb. In addition to itterating the first significant figure by one this increase is another all time high.

Meanwhile Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen announced that zhe and zher fellow Federal Reserve governors would be increasing the target range for the Federal Funds rate from 0.25-0.5 percent to 0.5-0.75 percent. This roughly doubles the cost of borrowing for the United States just in time for The Great Again.

Alphabet's Google Presents Youtube Bans A Government Media Outlet

Posted on by

Alphabet's Google presents Youtube has banned the Democratic People's Republic of Best Korea's state sponsored media organization from utilizing their service. A stooge from Google Asia offered:

"We don’t comment on individual videos or channels, but we do disable accounts that violate our terms of service or community guidelines, and when we are required by law to do so."

Youtube still hosts multiple channels for the US propaganda outlet Voice of America including VOA 1 and VOA Learning English.

Fake News Today: WaPo Works To Undermine Trump Election With Unsourced Assertions

Posted on by

Over the weekend the Washington Post along with Democratic party operatives Woodward and Bernstein worked to undermine the election of Donald Trump by asserting an "Intelligence source" with no name or agency affiliation provided saw proof of Russian interference with the election. This has been conflated by the Washington Post to mean the CIA decisively concluded that there indeed was Russian interference in the election.

The WaPo's mystery source further insists the Republican National Committee was hacked to in spite of a lack of any wikileaks or announced evidence of a hack.1

This is an early bullish indicator for a second Trump term in the presidency as the losing socialist party is set to expend its efforts trying to delegitimize the populist candidate instead of courting the working class whites they demonized and abandoned.

  1. While it is likely that both the US Democratic Socialist Party and US Republican Socialist Party are constantly being hacked by state level actors only one party's candidate and leadership had a notorious reputation before the election for disregarding any and all information hygiene recommendations. There is a limit on the secrets Arkencide can keep when you just keep information around wherever.  ↩

Lower Korea Makes "Our Democracy" Weird Again

Posted on by

Lower Korean1 President Park Geun-hye was impeached following a scandal involving confidential information granted to the president's "Spiritual Advisor" by the chief executive of our democracy. On top of the simple charge the President was impeached for there was substantial media campaign involving the occult and tawdry sex allegations which eroded popular support for the President as is traditional in our democracy. Park Geun-hye remains the President of lower Korea including residence at the Blue House though Presidential powers of our democracy have been transferred to the Prime Minister until the Supreme Court rules on the impeachment.

If the Supreme Court rules to eject Park Geun-hye from office, the United Nation's Ban Ki Moon is the leading candidate to win the office. Conveniently Moon's term as UN Secretary General expires at the end of this year. Make Our Democracy Weird Again!

  1. Also known as Republic of Korea, not to be confused with The Democratic People's Republic of Best Korea  ↩

Pharma Execs Arrested For Selling Medicine

Posted on by

A former CEO and two vice presidents were among six former employees of Insys Therapeutics arrested over the company's marketing of the painkiller fentanyl. The alleged marketing tactics are similar to those used by other drug manufacturers operating in the same fiat markets, except their product has spent years being demonized in the news for killing young white people.

Bitcoin Price Outlook: Magenta Possible In 2017

Posted on by

Continued disconnect between sanctioned fiat/Bitcoin interfaces and informed trades converting these two different kinds of currency suggest fiat/Bitcoin interfaces may begin reporting Magenta as a price by the end of 2017. Other outlets are projecting the US dollar may fall to 1/2000th to 1/2100th some time in 2017 based on inflation, interest rates, and the strength of the dollar which they predict to all rise with the inauguration and summoning of The Great Again. Such projections gravely underestimate the existing strain on the tenuous connections between the various fiat/Bitcoin interfaces and reality.1 Sorry for your loss.

  1. From The Delusionists at Bitstamp:

    Subject: Qualifying Investors Can Now Invest in Bitstamp & Get a 24-hour Head Start
    Date: Tue, 06 Dec 2016 21:39:10 -0000

    Dear customers,

    I have some news I would like to share with you. In response to high levels of demand from our stakeholders, we are today offering savvy investors the opportunity to take an equity stake in Bitstamp on <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">BnkToTheFuture.com</a>, a global online investment platform that allows qualifying investors to invest in the future of finance and technology. As you would expect, bitcoin is of course accepted!

    With venture capitalist Pantera Capital having already invested USD 10 million in seed funding, we feel confident that the smart money is on us. You are more than welcome to join us as we continue to bring prudence and sanity to our industry.

    Operating as we do in a fledgling market with huge potential for growth, we are firmly of the opinion that the early bird does indeed catch the worm. This opportunity for qualifying investors to invest in Bitstamp is no                             different and could very well turn out to be the best way to welcome in your 2017, a year which holds great promise for our industry.

    To get things up and running, we are giving Bitstamp customers a 24-hour head start before we go live on <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">BnkToTheFuture.com</a>. The round will close on 24 January 2017. Click <a href="https://bnktothefuture.com/pitches/bitstamp/landing" target="_blank">here</a> now to find out more and see if you qualify!

    As ever, thank you for your continued loyalty and support. I look forward to welcoming you on board as a Bitstamp investor.

    Best,
    Nejc Kodric
    CEO, Bitstamp

     ↩

"Liberal" West Today: Merkel Announces Burqa Ban

Posted on by

Angela Merkel, who recently announced zer intent to run for reelection as an explicitly establishment candidate, has embraced a populist political position in order to curry favor with voters. Merkel announced plans to ban the burqa in any place zhe may "legally" do so. Germans have been taking a beating lately at home, in their European Union, and technologically.