Great Flood Exhibit Becomes Great Leak For Home County

Grant county, Kentucky – home of Ken Ham's Ark replica – is praying for a torrent of revenue after the Christian themed exhibit has failed to provide a significant amount of money into the town despite an $18 million US dollar tax break. County Judge-Executive Steve Wood said “It’s been a great thing but it’s not brought us any money". A Great Flood of debt is now threatening to sink the town, as the County is on the brink of bankruptcy and is slated to propose job cuts and a 2% payroll cut for all employees. The controversial theme park was funded using $62 million US dollars in Tax Increment Financing granted to the organization by the City of Williamstown.

Haoles At Coinbase Bail On Hawaii

The Haoles at Coinbase announced earlier today that they will be suspending operations in the state of Hawaii indefinitely. An email sent to customers in the Aloha state informed them that "The Hawaii Division of Financial Institutions has recently communicated regulatory policies which will render continued Coinbase operations in Hawaii impractical. " Customers are being given the usual 30 day period to either transfer "their" Bitcoin to another address, or sell for fiat using the company's exchange. No word was available if or when services would resume there in the future. Sorry for your laws

Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP: Obamacare Must Die Before Tax Reform

Today addressing a gathering of governors, United States President Donald Trump issued an ultimatum that they repeal or replacement Obamacare must come before any tax reform proposals will be considered. This cutting ultimatum comes as congressional members of the party he saved have been the rate limiting factor slowing President Trump's agenda of summoning The Great Again.

Automotive Insurance Premiums Surging In United States, Texting Blamed

Automotive insurance premiums in the United States have risen ~16% over the past five years with traffic fatalities similarly rising ~14% according to assorted reports. This rise being attributed to a phenomena where the common person when gifted with both motorized transportation and wireless communications combining the two to invent their own woodchipper. The motorist's old nemesis John Barleycorn however is continuing to compete with this upstart hazard, inspiring a motorist in New Orleans to plow into a crowd injuring ~30 today.

Major US Socialist Party Experiences First Contested Chair Contest In Decades As Internal Divisions Grow

Tom Perez (WOT:nonperson) won the first contested race for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee becoming the defacto boss of the party of losing. Perez, a former secretary of labor, represents the Hillary Rodham-Clinton establishment human trafficking wing of the part which recently lost everything, and he defeated Keith Ellison of the Bernie Sanders, Granola, and voluntary human extinction wing of the party. Meanwhile Trump reigns, praise be upon him.

Hussein Bahamas To Vacation Closer To Kenya?

The doe-eyed founders of the Obama '17 Campaign for French President recently admitted to MSM that

It's definitely a joke. But it could make people think a little bit about what we could do differently in French politics.

Unsatisfied with the impending La Penmanship and the inevitable conclusion of the Nth Republique,1 this founding band of 30-something "creatives" don't appear to appreciate that Bahamas deported more people from his country and was at war longer than any other previous US President, all while greatly increasing the tax burden and doubling the national debt. Evidently, ostriches believing in the "Scandal-Free Presidency" mythology aren't unknown in the Paris area, as evidenced by the claim that

I think the whole world would love to have him as president

#pasvraiment but that hasn't stopped the increasing use of #ouionpeut.


  1. Not to mention eager to relive the glory days when foreign rulers oversaw the French / Gaulish provinces, whether that was Julius Caesar, Henry V, Henry VI, or Napolean.  

Fire In The Security Theater: Cloudflare Leaks As SHA1 Broken

Two honored pillars of the "cyber" security theater were lost recently in a fire.

Sorry for your loss.

"Биткоин — это единственная в мире блокчейн" says Russian State Bank

Speaking with newspaper Kommersant, Nikita Smirnov, Vice President of Information Technology at Vnesheconombank, told reporters

Биткоин — это единственная в мире блокчейн

and

Его можно сравнить с бактерией, которая уже существует отдельно от человека и вошла с человеком в симбиоз

which roughly translates, respectively, to "Bitcoin is the world's only blockchain" and "Compare [Bitcoin] to a bacteria, which exists separately from humans, but is in a symbiotic relationship with humans". These fiat confirmations come, respectively, two-and-a-half years and over four years after these blindingly factual statements were first announced publicly to the world.

And you thought ten minute blocks were slow. Sorry for your lag.

Yiannopoulos Quits Media Giant Breitbart

Today tech editor Milo Yiannopoulos quit United States media giant Breitbart after a video became public where Yiannopoulos related that his experience being molested by a member of the clergy wasn't that bad. The moribund press expended substantial column inches condemning the libertine comments as they conducted an organized campaign of oppression against the homosexual Yiannopoulos. Yiannopoulos tendered his resignation to Breitbart media as a result of this harassment campaign.

Meanwhile Breitbart Media, a venture which outlasted founder Andrew Breitbart, has grown to surpass Disney's ESPN in internet audience size according to Alexa.1


  1. For what little Alexa is worth.  

Dream Market (Yet another Darknet Market) Accounts Compromised

A reddit user named Skillzythehacker has claimed to have compromised thousands of accounts on Dream Market, though market administrators said no Bitcoin were at risk. The attacker said of all the compromised accounts, none were using 2FA, a supposed panacea for login security issues.

Dream market admin wombat2combat released the following message:

- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

The user /u/Skillzythehacker sent the mods of /r/Darknetmarkets a list of over 
50 login credentials [names and passwords] for dream market accounts.

After looking at them more closely we can verifiy that they are working and the
accounts are pretty old because their user IDs are between about 100k and 500k
while the latest ones [when registering a new account] are higher than 700k.

It is therefore very likely that these login credentials were obtained through a
database breach/hack.

There were already made some changes to the current dream market warnings and 
this issue will be added to them too.
- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----

iQIcBAEBAgAGBQJYqiTvAAoJEMPzj/CHV15DtLUP/jQ9hpsuqUg/QMcoTN35rWgI
QVIbU2rK1APMnf3QL1WAGnqcyv3u3ymh3gV2CC9HkQDOBIbgkPOk77bjMMoV3G1/
rvDdSTsNHE4pv878k/IOT6mgBuQN3h2YEPsTbuT2XVzZoI2/PX3l+Zs/TEUTNnku
KIQSkZNWPQpIr8DKPXDmGW3Zulpfgv8+1b1m2NrThZe4hTQ9LObmE9gboeI6keRs
AVkrfG2ijB40ADjYWtIyj4AvxdvsGotL2p/QnrRfaDX8dfJWbpEeK/KEg0zwdVqe
VnTWsRoHCCb65IJ3It8YFIKhmDZRH27ulT4nCtyPu8grRRhQn+pZYP8wj0VBsOsa
raHNko4cJBo4y/BQjEfYHWjKO485w+RF1NRNfDuH8sj86zV2NpERtGCD9HZJ3hdk
07EN4/tuJbRlhImIJCx6I+Q7YCDtc2eKhRqy5IX2qwEspZvhUiDELVSvwquW2Hoz
OYmvkrMgao0Tdk4kaefk6VOXi+ClxK6VNYAvHWN//mylwOk4Av7Z4Kg5I33N1tfS
QY4bh3e7JwkQ/LHJghhRSeeTM5AAzFOPluLeXxx6zQf74f7fQYDfRJd/LRq2yp7H
MDV91mS/ID5814UIC0aNXTBfUzn7+bxJus0yJKTjGNiZBpE2SuoKsWARX03En9sn
pMtjAJ+DD5BZBcC+oiu5
=b1Lf
- -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

The attacker is said to have provided proof he could log into various accounts, leading users to speculate that user info was stored with weak or no encryption. (archived)