Popular Voting Machine Hacked With Seals Intact, Plays Pacman

J. Alex Halderman, professor of computer science and engineering at the University of Michigan, has modified a Sequoia AVC-Edge DRE voting machine to play classic video game Pac-Man. The machines were in widespread use in parts of Louisiana, Missouri, Nevada, and Virginia, according to the manufacturer Verified Voting. Instead of "using the machines to steal votes" they decide to use a MAME emulator to play the popular arcade game. The machines have 486 SLE processor and 32 MB of RAM, and runs MS-DOS as it OS. The professor said the machine was last used in the 2008 Williamsburg, Virginia primary elections, and was part of a pair sold for $100. Halderman further indicated the machine can indeed run linux as well, leaving open the possibility for a wider array of future projects.

Bitfinex Freezes US Customer Accounts Following Another Loss

Reports are emerging that Bitfinex account holders in the United States have had their accounts frozen. They are powerless to trade and more importantly withdraw funds from Bitfinex. The present scapegoat appears to be a dispute between Bitfinex and the payment provider Synapse pay who services their United States customers. A loss is allegedly at the center of this dispute. Sorry for yours.

Brexit Fallout : Illiterate British Justice Enacts Breach of European Declaration of Human Rights into British Legal Precedent

Sir Edward James Holman, born 1947, of the High Court of England and Wales, recently had this much to say in a divorce proceeding :

I have to say that I do not find it very ediffying that people in this financial bracket should be taking up a day of court time over a sum which to them, though not to others, is objectively so small. However, agreement has not been reached and I must rule.

Leaving aside the solipsistic spelling style bestowed on the otherwise innocent word "edifying", as well as a certain unfamiliarity with its meaning apparent from context1 ; and also leaving aside the ridiculous happenstance whereby the justice out of his own free will & ineptitude published matter into the public record (a right which he has), after which out of his own delusional ignorance decided he may proceed to take it back (a right which he neither has nor could possibly acquire) – this declaration also annuls previously good law in England and Wales, specifically Article 6(1) of the ECHR :

In the determination of his civil rights and obligations or of any criminal charge against him, everyone is entitled to a fair and public hearing within a reasonable time by an independent and impartial tribunal established by law.

Apparently in the newly constructed Ingsoc Republic, successor state of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland after the latter's dissolution of its compact with the other states forming the European Union, the fundamental right of access to a fair trial by an impartial tribunal no longer applies ; instead an obscure system of quotas based on the petitioner's total wealth is to be employed.

In this novel and as of yet not fully documented approach to legal matters, a subject's total wealth – be it a pound or a billion pounds – entitles him to a fixed amount of court time. On that basis, the fractions of that wealth entitle him to fractions of that unit time, so a man who sues to recover a million when his total wealth is two million has better standing than a man who sues to recover a million when his total wealth is ten million.

It is perfectly understandable that Mr. Justice Holman has serious trouble foreseeing the necessary results of that naive policy ; but then again he also has serious trouble comprehending the apparently intricate workings of publication as a one way street; or for that matter the correct English spelling of reasonably common words.

With such great men, what need has England of any sheeps?


  1. Edifying is that which informs in a dispositive manner. 

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R)

Welcome to the Qntra Not quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). Below are collected things that happened this week which did not independently achieve newsworthiness:

  • The United States Marshalls service announced another auction, this time only ~3 Bitcoins constituting the pot were stolen from Ross Ulbrict. The remainder come from other cases.
  • Gawker Media has celebrated their last week before becoming part of Ziff Davis by pantomiming the high school tradition of "Senior Week" and by opening an online "Men's Magazine" called "The Cuck." The Cuck's first post was:

    The Politics of Sitting Down To Pee

  • Bitfinex reopened trading as was planned. Trading included their non-consensual debt instrument.
  • Tradehill's Jared Kenna opened yet another Bitcoin "dark trading" pool.
  • Coinbase has continued their apology and solvency tour repeatedly offering that the number of Classic Ethereum tokens they lost was 40,000 United States dollars, a number denominated in a unit other than that of the actual things they lost.
  • The Huffington Post's David Seaman started off a round of Herpity Derping that supposes Barry Silbert did Ethereum Classic.
  • Barry Silbert's Coindesk announced plans to double its staff (archived).

Man Jailed After Allegedly Spiking Utah Police Sergeant's Lemonade

A fast food worker remains jailed after a police sergeant in Layton, Utah alleges the man "spiked" his lemonade with methamphetamine and tetrahydrocannabinol (archived). While methamphetamine is water soluble and capable of entering into solution with lemonade, tetrahydrocannabinol is incapable of entering into solution with water strongly suggesting that if tetrahydrocannabinol appeared on the Sergeant's drug screen it is because he likes to get himself high. Continue reading

Alleged Orlando Shooter's Father Seated Behind Hillary At Rally

Alleged Orlando shooter Omar Mateen's (WOT:nonperson) father was prominently seated behind Hillary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) at a political rally in Kissimmee, Florida. Omar Matteen's father Seddique Mir Mateen (WOT:nonperson) left Afghanistan in the 1970's and has for years produced a number of videos where he claims the title "Revolutionary President of Afghanistan." There has been no mention in the mainstream media about how Hillary's ties to an insurgent leader may affect her relationship as president with the presently US backed government of Ashraf Ghani (WOT:nonperson) in Afghanistan.

Former Illinois Governor Loses Convictions But Keeps Prison Sentence

Former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich (WOT:nonperson) was cleared on 5 of the 18 charges he was convicted of though his 14 year prison sentence was maintained in full during a re-sentencing hearing today. Blagojevich was the Governor of Illinois and the de facto head of the Democratic party in that state when Hussein Bahamas was allowed to move from the Illinois State Senate to the United States Senate and eventually the United States Presidency.

As the sitting Governor of the Illinois Blagojevich was arrested when sloppy operational security exposed the auction he was holding to sell Hussein's vacant United States Senate seat. He is scheduled to be released in May 2024 during the second term of either Hillary Rodham-Clinton or Donald Trump-Clinton's presidency. Blagojevich became a politician when his amateur boxing career ended following a loss by technical knock out in the 1975 Chicago Golden Gloves tournament. Sorry for your laws.

Merkel Regime To Broaden Issuance Of Driving Bans In Germany

Reports are emerging that the Angela Merkel regime in Germany is prepared to push through new legislation that would make drivers license revocation a common sanction for non-driving related "crimes" against the Zher majesty the EuroFührer Angela Merkel. While much of the public justification for the new measures involve detering youth crime (archived), suggested offenses include failing to pay child support as an absentee parent. Naturally the measure would be used to punish dissidents as "hate speech" would be similarly subject to driving license revocation. The new motoring sanctions would be levelled in combination with the EuroFührer's most popular sanction, the suspended prison sentence. This adds to the threat of arbitrary imprisonment for violating the sentence's suspension1 further punishment in the form of travel restrictions. Sorry for your laws, but papers please.


  1. Because why judicially imprison someone after trial when you can administratively imprison them later.  

Eulora 0.1.2 Update Released, Record Loot Follows

Earlier this week the Ministry of Games released version 0.1.2 of their real cash economy MMORPG Eulora to the world. The new client software was made available July 31st and the servers rolled over to the new version on August 3rd. Shortly after the update was made available Daniel P. Barron (WOT:danielpbarron) found a record setting loot pop in the game world. The drop composed of boulders and assorted other loot has a base value of 0.81 Bitcoins with a potentially higher market value in the game's real money economy. Eulora's real cash economy makes it one of several avenues available for earning Bitcoin without dealing with the AML/KYC indignity of the various fiat/Bitcoin interfaces.

Sorry For Your 36.067%

Bitfinex made an updated announcement on the status of their Socialization plan, with users set to take a 36.067% loss in the ass when the exchange re-opens in 24-48 hours. (archived) Party officials said they will need a few more days to hatch excuses to "explain in full detail the methodology used to compute these losses". Delusional party members thanked their wise leaders for the haircut in the comments section, praising Buttfinex's decision to redistribute wealth as they saw fit. Losses are reported to be distributed against all asset classes "held" on Bitfinex. They are the 36.067%!