Gatecoin has announced it will be re-launching it's trading platform soon, in attempts to revive the image of a company that lost 15% of it's net worth in a security breach. The exchange plans to resume trading on August 17th at 08:00 GMT. Feeble car-salesman tactics to lure back ETH huffers to the platform include no trading fees until September, and the ability to withdraw DAO tokens. Gatecoin has promised customers "round-the-clock security monitoring with constant penetration testing" which likely translates to greater odds of the customer being penetrated anally. Sorry for your loss.
Monthly Archives: August 2016
Magnr Pauses Trading Stirring Worry
Magnr "Savings and trust" announced in an email to customers today that it was pausing trading to review it's security measures. (archived) The letter stated:
"In the past 24 hours, Bitfinex has announced that their exchange has been victim of
a security breach resulting in the suspension of activity on their website until
further notice.
As a result, we have placed a temporarily pause on Magnr Trading. During this time,
clients will have the ability to liquidate existing open trades on Bitstamp and
itBit but will not be able to open new trading positions."
While Magnr says they monitor their service 24 hrs daily, users of the platform do not have control of any private cryptographic keys and therefore have little hope of recovering any funds stored therein were the company's servers to experience a breach.
Bitfinex Embraces Socialism In Losing
Buttfinex released yet another cryptic statement this evening, calling the so-called hack a "socialized loss" which likely translates into more sorry for your loss for their customers. The statement simply said there are no hard figures yet officially released, but the company promised an amended FAQ and more information regarding the extent of the breach tomorrow. Bitfinex, making socialism great again since 2013.
Monsanto On Dicamba Drift Disaster: We Are Not An Enforcement Agency, To Argentina: We Are An Enforcement Agency
In response to growing tensions over Monsanto's Dicamba resistant soybeans tempting farmers to use Dicamba and wilting neighboring soybean fields along with the occasional stand of trees,1 Monsanto's response through a representative of the company is:
“We understand the EPA is investigating and Monsanto is supporting that work.”
Richard: “The thing I want to underline is we, as a company, aren’t an enforcement agency. We’re confident that the state officials will be evaluating the complaints, will investigate and will take appropriate actions.
“As a company, we can’t speculate on what action government officials will take – especially those who are investigating complaints of misuse. I’m sure they’re working diligently and will be taking action.”
– Monsanto Representative to Delta Farm News (archived)
By contrast when Argentina refused to follow Monsanto's exacting instructions in an attempt to enforce dubious and expiring patents, acting as an enforcement agency Monsanto embargoed Argentina.
For all the pain market forces are continuing to heap on the value of the corn crop, the soy crop this year is on track to produce nothing but losers. On one side will be farmers with a spectacular haul burdened by torts and on the other are farmers who went through the expense of planting only to harvest wilt if they don't end up tilling the field under. Sorry for your loss.
On a recent country drive numerous stands of deciduous trees near farms appeared to have been experiencing profound stress disproportionate to this summer's heat. ↩
Louisiana Enacts and New York Considers Protecting Law Enforcement With Hate Crime Laws
A new trend emerging in regional legislatures governing subdivisions of the United States are efforts to protect "law enforcement" officers by passing "Blue Lives Matters" laws making attacks on police subject to enhanced penalties as "hate" crimes. Apparently the existing mechanism for enhanced penalties, which work because attacking a "law enforcement" officer is already its own unique additional criminal charge, aren't working. Tensions between "law enforcement" and the public are high for a number of reasons. Peace in our time.
Blog Post On Insurance Disappears From BitGo Website
On February 25th 2015 BitGo, the firm which "held" the recently liberated Bitfinex customer coins in a sort of deviant escrow demanded by the United States Commodity and Futures Trading Commision, published a blog post on how they were insured against theft. That blog post is no longer available on BitGo's website. Bitstamp reportedly also uses BitGo in a similar capacity though they assure customers that the particulars of their arrangement are so different this could never happen to their customers.
P2SH considered harmful, sorry for your loss.
Phree Software Download Website Fosshub Distributed MBR Tainting Malware
This week the free software download website Fosshub distributed master boot record tainting malware after reportedly being compromised (archived). The alleged attackers are trumpeting that in spite of producing malware that infected the master boot record of affected machines, that bundling further malware with an impact beyond vandalizing machine start up output was too much for them. Such claims are to be taken with a grain of salt and affected machines cleansed with fire. Sorry for your loss.
Woman's Facebook Account Suspended During Fatal Standoff
Korryn Gaines (WOT:nonperson) was killed by Baltimore County police during a standoff. Before killing the 23 year old woman police requested that Facebook suspend the social media accounts she was using to broadcast her personal revolution. Facebook obliged, she died. Apparently the revolution will not be Facebooked, Instagrammed or Whatapp'd.1 Peace in our time.
As these are all Facebook social media properties. ↩
First US Cop Faces Terrorism Charges, Crime: Buying Gift Cards
In what mainstream media is reporting as the first case of terrorism charges targeting a law enforcement officer in the United States, a DC area transit cop bought ~250 United States dollars worth of gift cards (archived). Prosecutors allege he then distributed the gift card codes to FBI agents so that those FBI agents could buy paid mobile messaging apps for the Islamic State.
Law enforcement officers not facing terrorism charges in the United States include:
- Lon Horiuchi, member of civilian murdering death squad at Ruby Ridge and Waco (archived)
- Carl Mark Force IV, extortionist and moved gift cards well in excess of 250 United States dollars
- Shaun Bridges, moved gift cards well in excess of 250United States dollars, failed international man of mystery
- Members of the FBI death squad that murdered Lavoy Finicum
- Unconfirmed but probably FBI agents providing agar for the Rebel But Gangster Black Rebels
- The Department of Homeland Security officer who went on a mass shooting spree back in May
Those most be some serious mobile messaging apps.
Shapeshift.io Unveils Ether Cleaver
ShapeShift.io has announced a new service making it easier to launder "clean" Ether-huffer's funds. (archived) The tool, located at split.shapeshift.io, says it can "safely separate or "clean" your Ethereum balances and avoid replay attacks and lost coins." The news comes too late to help chief ETH huffer Brian Armstrong of Coinbase, whose company is still rumored to be of questionable solvency due to not understanding how hard forks work.1
Edit: Coinbase just announced it would be awarding users "credits" "soon" for the amount of Ethereum users have that wasn't subject to Buterin's time travel theft to bailout the DAO. ↩