Sidechain Lisk Launches With Lulz

The launch of the Lisk sidechain application development platform is off to a lulzy start with early investors mumbling "fraud" to themselves. The developers failed to accurately publish a docker image necessary for their blockchain and site to work properly, leaving users scrambling to move coins to exchanges where it had already begun to trade. The project's homepage at login.lisk.io at times leads to a improperly configured root server index page, with devs cobbling together fixes while the exchange coins continue to sell heavily. Price was down -91.13 % at the time of this article, with an average price hovering around 25 cents per coin according to coinmarketcap.com. Projections show that it likely wont be worth two cents.

Ken Starr (WOT:nonperson) Changes Tune On Clintons AND Sex Scandal Cover Ups

Kenneth Starr (WOT:nonperson) former Solicitor General, former Independent Counsel, and most recently former President of Baylor University has apparently changed his tune on the subject of sex scandals as well as on the subject of Clintons. Starr was fired from his position at Baylor University for facilitating a sex scandal involving the Baylor football team and criminal convictions for sexual assualt and coincidental with his firing, Starr began heaping praise upon America's first black president William Jefferson Clinton. This is an odd turn because Starr spent most of the 1990's prosecuting Bill Clinton for covering up his many sex scandals including President Clinton's alleged criminal sexual assault of Paula Jones.

Bill and Hilary Clinton sent their public relations enforcer, the snake headed queen bitch James Carville, on an extended campaign of character assassination against Starr which continued well after Clinton was impeached and left the White House in shame at the end of his final term. Apparently Starr's own recent ordeal assisting in covering up a sex scandal helped him to empathize with the Clinton way of life. Peace in our time.

Bruce Fenton (WOT:nonperson) Tries Raising Dead

The intimate details of Bruce Fenton's (WOT:nonperson) attempts to revive the faux "Bitcoin Foundation" were brought to light this morning after a reddit user posted a link to private emails on pastebin. (archived) Fenton was quick to respond to the leak, stating "The purpose of this email was to solicit input / advice from core [client fork] Devs and to let them know that the Bitcoin Foundation feels we represent all of Bitcoin including all of Core [client fork] and that we would welcome help and input." Qntra has reported previously on the fact that Phoundation members frequently do business with scammers, and is not a worthy replacement for the real bitcoin foundation.

Ingsoc Victory: Britain's Children Too Fat To Breathe

The Mirror reports that an increasing number of British children have to be placed on mechanical ventilators because they are too fat for their bodies to sustain independent respiration. Respiration is of course an basic activity that a person must undertake in order to sustain life independently, but English socialism1 of course is opposed to the independent living of individual homo sapiens as an organizing principle. Though no spokesperson will likely admit it publicly, the complete dependence of this latest generation of children upon the government's National "Health" Service is an ideological victory for Ingsoc. Hamplanetry, Transmayogenderism, and criminal Obeastiality plague the entire anglophone world the embrace of Ingsoc in the United Kingdom appears to be giving Britain the lead in both their general level of socialist depravity as well as their growth in endemic morbid obesity.


  1. Commonly referred to as Ingsoc  

Philipino President Tells Soros Where To Shove It

The incoming President of the Republic of the Phillipines and former Mayor of Davao City has publicly and provocatively rebuked accusations from New York-based and George Soros(WOT:nonperson)-backed Human Rights Watch (HRW) that the former Spanish colony is involved in human rights abuses, particularly a soi-disant "Davao Death Squad" that the Mayor himself is alleged to have been involved in. Citing America's less than exemplary treatment of its African citizens, Mayor Rodrigo Duterte had some choice words for the overtly hypocritical and broadly meddlesome libertards from across the Pacific :

To all the bleeding hearts of US-based crime watch: You want a taste of justice, my style? Come to Davao City Philippines, and do drugs in my city. I will execute you in public. And finally, you SOB’s, I offer no excuses nor do I apologize. So be it.

Long known for its bad copywriters, live-in nannies, and Tim Horton's servers par excellence, Duterte is single-handedly changing his island nation's international image from one of servile friendliness to one of a TMSR~esque bullshit intolerance. For that, we salute him

Ivanpah Solar Plant Sets Self On Fire

This week Unit 3 of the Ivanpah Solar Power Facility set itself on fire when the mirrors sent collected sunlight to a portion of the tower incapable of handling the thermal energy. Environmentalists have accused the plant of being a "mega-trap" slaughtering wildlife and releasing carbon emissions when it routinely incinerates birds. With Unit 2 down for maintenance only Unit 1 is producing electricity at this time.

One Oregon Liberator Pleas To Impeding Federal Officers

Militia liberator Corey Lequieu entered a guilty plea in a Portland courtroom Thursday to charge of "impeding officers of the United States" for not going away when servants of the criminal gang in Washington, DC told him to. Prosecutors agreed to drop two weapons charges and not seek additional felony charges in Nevada or Oregon as part of "the deal." Rámon Pagán, Lequieu's defense attorney was quick to note that while he accepted a plea bargain his client has not cooperated with the government and had no intention to testify or assist them further in any way. It is rather surprising the "Justice" department's Roland Frieselers haven't brought him up on more charges of "impeding", an act that rather than being criminal ought to be expected of every citizen as part of his duty to his country. He is scheduled to be sentenced on August 25 in federal court by U.S. District Court Judge Anna Brown. No cases of Ferguson, Baltimore, Sanders, or Mizzou protestors charged with "impeding" have been found yet, though one Ferguson protester leader was charged with child sex trafficking yesterday.

Bayer Bidding For Monsanto

With Monsanto's long term prospects as an independent concern looking bleak, far better diversified German chemical giant Bayer made an unsolicited 46 Billion United States dollar bid to acquire Monsanto in an effort to diversify further. With Monsanto's value dropping as its enforceable patent portfolio shrinks Bayer would be acquiring a steady revenue stream and the means by which to continue Monsanto's business, but in a way that might leverage Bayer's own sizeable patent portfolio for synergy in those backwater markets that still recognize the fiat patent system. As Bayer already pirated the genes from a bacteria that breaks down its new herbicide "Liberty"1 that would present a far more marketable continuation of Monsanto's "Roundup Ready"(TM)(R) brand than the present, momentarily independent Monsanto's move to add Dicamba resistance.

Glufosinate has no pre-emergent action. Unlike Dicamba it is purely a post-emergent herbicide which creates the interesting question of just how many herbicide resistant traits is Bayer willing to throw into a single crop at a time, and how will they pace the market releases to keep their patent extortion funds rolling in? Sorry for your loss.


  1. Less ambiguously known as Glufosinate