mETH huffers, who have been anxiously awaiting an event they dub "The Flippening" (Where the Ethereum fiat market cap surpasses that of Bitcoin), instead were treated to visions of "The Poofening" on Wednesday afternoon when the price of Ethereum flash-crashed down to $13. The price recovered to previous levels shortly afterward, thanks to the efforts of seedy exchanges such as GDAX plugging the holes of the sinking ship by suddenly making signing in to their exchange impossible. Reddit tears likely flow freely tonight with one user reporting a SFYL on GDAX when $10k USD worth of ETH was sold at $16. Ethereum still struggles to not implode under the weight of DDoS attacks to its network owing to the uptick of ICO scams using the platform of late.
Category Archives: Weather
Ford Turns To China To Save Small Cars
The Ford Motor Company announced to day that it would become the first "American" automaker to outsource the manufacturing of a whole passenger car model to China. Ford will be relocating production of it's runty, low margin, and slow selling "Focus" to China while the plant in suburban Detroit currently producing the Focus will be retooled for pickup truck and SUV production.
Previously, mainstream US vehicular imports from China were limited to parts while upstart brands bringing whole vehicles to the US from China typically import budget vehicles with "off-road use only" import papers and street tires to increase their affordability for cash poor American consumers.
Leftist Frenchman Batters Woman During Her Visit To Market Over Objections To Her Politics
Nathalie Kosciusko-Morizet was battered and knocked unconscious by a middle aged man wearing chinos (archived). Kosciusko-Morizet is a conservative candidate running for a seat in the French parliament. The aggressor appears to have escaped responsibility for their politically motivated act of terror.
And so leftist violence against conservative officials and candidates continues.
Amazon To Pay 13.7 Billion US Dollars For Brick And Mortar Footprint
Today Jeff Bezos' Amazon announced that they would be acquiring the 450 store grocery chain "Whole Foods" in a move that would give the start up a brick and mortar footprint. Previous attempts by Amazon to grow their own brick and mortar presence have highlighted structural problems in the way Amazon grows when left to its own devices.
The 42 US dollar per share price is a 27% premium over Whole Food's closing share price of 33.06 US dollars yesterday. This aggressive move into the low margin grocery business comes as Jeff Bezos is seeking a public bailout over an earlier misadventures in the higher margin education business.
Fake News Tries To Bury Their Culpability For Inciting Violence By Alleging Fake Criminal Investigation
Following the fake news media and pant suit party's success yesterday in inciting a mentally unstable Belleville man to political violence, they tried to divert attention from their incitement. As a distraction they are alleging that elected US President Donald Trump is being investigated for the fake crime of "obstruction of justice".1
Meanwhile former FBI director and Special Counsel Robert Mueller has yet to recuse himself from investigating matters related to his protege and rumored lover James Comey. Recent polling of voters from "our democracy" shows strong support for prosecuting Comey over leaking information he alleges was gathered in his official capacity as an officer of the United States Government (archived).
In the general case, this is a fake crime in the sense that the intersection of actual justice and activities undertaken by agents of the evil empire is nil. In this particular case, two parties to a private conversation are disputing a portion of the conversation's content. In the months since the disputed conversation there has been no sign of a dispute until one party was fired by the better party. ↩
Leftist Terrorist From Belleville Attacks GOP Baseball Team
A leftist terrorist from Belleville, Illinois opened fire on the GOP congressional baseball team during a practice wounding five. The terrorist John Hodgkinson volunteered for the Bernie Sanders presidential campaign and appears to have been radicalized to violent action by the months long hate spewed by the fake news media against elected US President Donald Trump and his agenda of summoning The Great Again.
This terrorist attack marks a substantial escalation of leftist violence in the current "cold" US civil war. Previously legislators from the GOP had merely been threatened with violence for their alignment with Donald Trump, but actual leftist violence was mostly restricted to attacks on their own institutions.
The terrorist's hometown of Belleville is a leftist stronghold and has been subject to a dramatic increase in violence over the past decade as guerillas from East Saint Louis have captured and settled substantial portions of the long blighted community. Hopefully the Trumpreich will consider all options for solving the leftist problem in Belleville as they formulate a response to this escalation in violence.
Ethereum Blocks Way The Fuck Too Big: "Smart" Contract DDoS'ing Own "Initial Coin Offering" To Blame
The Bancor network, billed as a protocol for creating smart tokens using smart contracts on the Ethereum database was forced to alter the terms of its "initial coin offering" "due to massive malicious attacks on network & resulting pending transaction bottleneck". First thought by Ether huffers to be due to a bad actor attempting to prevent the "initial coin offering" from taking place, it was later discovered that transactions to the Bancor "smart" contract address itself was causing the DDoS attack on the network. During the course of the attack it was revealed that despite an advertised cap on the number of tokens proffered in the crowdsale, the contract owners could create new tokens at any time they liked at no additional cost. Despite the signs pointing to impending disaster and a possible repeat of history, the creators managed to capture over $150 million US dollars in the first 3 hours of the crowdsale.
Comey Sexually Intimidated By Trump
Synchronized editorials from the New York Times and Los Angeles Times both allege that fired FBI director James 'J. Edgar' Comey was sexually intimidated by President Trump. The two pantsuit aligned fake news outlets purport to have independently come to the conclusion that the six foot eight inch tall1 career "law enforcement" professional could not resist Trump's orders while on the job, because he felt sexually dominated by the septuagenarian president.
Years of KGB social engineering failed to feminize Comey's predecessor J. Edgar Hoover in the popular imagination to the extent his own purported testimony and his media allies have emasculated J. Edgar Comey on the record.
~2.03 meter ↩
fiat/Bitcoin Interfaces Catch Up To Dollar's Fall Below 1/3000th Of A Bitcoin
Opiate Overdoses Now Leading Cause Of Pre-Geriatric Mortality In US
Following a 19 percent rise over the previous year's numbers, opiate drug overdoses are now the leading cause of mortality in the United States for residents under 50 years of age.