Category Archives: Shitware

Point: Washington Thugs Testing GM Mosquitos

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This Editor in Chief has filed an Op-Ed in response to piece of news.

The assembly of hoodrats headed by Hussein Bahamas in Washington D.C. requests public comment regarding a field trial of genetically modified mosquitoes (archived) in Key Haven, Florida. Such trials have already been conducted in Brazil, the Cayman Islands, Panama, and Malaysia. The variation of Aedes aegypti engineered by Oxitec, Ltd. (archived) is supposed to breed with existing populations, and pass on a fatal alteration its genetic code. Notably this fatal alteration merely has a suppressive effect on populations creating a need to continually shell out for more bezzle bugs. Continue reading →

F-35 Software Requiring Hard Reboots While Airborne

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Jane's reports that the Lockheed Martin F-35 Joint Strike Fighter Developed by and for the armed forces of the United States and its allies has a new quirk gathering public attention (archived). Well, several quirks but the most notable is a software glitch that interferes with the aircraft's mission readiness by requiring hard reboots during flight to restore functionality to the radar. So far the F-35's ability to hemorrhage funds printed for the United States Department of Defense has lead to the early end of production for the more capable F-22 fighter, threatened the end of life for the more capable A-10 ground attack aircraft, and ended or hindered an uncountable other number of other things which may have been less embarrassing ends to direct the United States Government's money printing machine than the F-35. Sorry for your loss and peace in our time.

US May Accuse Iran Of Office Computer Infection

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There are murmurings that the United States may loudly accuse Iran of being involved in the infection of several office computers with malware. Substantial noise is being attached to the otherwise mundane infection of these office computers because of their physical proximity to systems affecting the operations of a dam in New York State (archived). The incident in question happened in 2013, three years after Microsoft released their first patch against the Stuxnet vulnerability.

New Cross Platform Malware Depends on JVM

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Reports are emerging of new cross platform malware that has the potential to affect Windows, OSX, Linux, and Android machines using a single executable (archived). The catch is only machines with a Java runtime are vulnerable to the attacks. The simplest mitigation measure is simply not having a Java execution environment on your computing machine. Java has long been a dubious proposition, for the increased attack surface it presents as well as a portion of the programmers it attracts.

Ransomware Comes To OSX Bittorrent Client

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Ransomware has come to Apple's OSX through a doctored binary for the Transmission bittorrent client (archived). This is reminiscent of a similar failure by Linux Mint to secure their software distribution pipeline, with the only substantial added step in this case being the ~100 United States dollar expense to register a key with Apple to bypass their "Gatekeeper" check for signed code. Once again pseudo security theater fails to provide actual security.

Frontier County Prosecutor Alleges Circle Jerk iPhone Carries "Cyber Pathogens"

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District Attorney Michael Ramos of San Bernadino County in California's desert frontier is now alleging the famous circle jerk iPhone 5c is now carrying a "cyber pathogen" (archived). With this latest wankery the podunk attorney is attempting to seriously allege a couple with a dangerous cyber pathogen would get themselves killed in a mundane shooting spree before they could deploy it. It's like suggesting a bio terrorist with Zika or Dengue would similarly get themselves killed in a boring normal shooting before spreading it to as many flying syringes as possible.

Google At Fault In Motor Vehicle Collision

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A vehicle driven by Google software has been determined to be responsible for a motor vehicle collision in Mountain View, California (archived). Google's car was derping along at 2 miles per hour when it struck a bus travelling at 15 miles per hour. Google attempted to justify itself with the excuse that it thought the cumbersome bus would yield when Google's smaller vehicle was travelling the speed of a particularly slow pedestrian. Google's car sustained damage in the incident.

Foscam Internet Of Shit "Seekoority" Camera Phones Home, Peers With Other Cameras

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Brian Krebs reports that "security cameras" and digital video recorders manufactured by Foscam and marked under Foscam's own brand and others have a peer to peer networking unfeature that phones home enabled by default (archived). In his post Krebs neglected to make the low hanging joke about SCAM already being a part of the firm's name.

Twitter Materially Supporting Clinton Campaign With Censorship

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Failing social media startup and fledgling political contractor Twitter is now facing allegations that it is materially contributing to Hilary Clinton's campaign with its censorship. Of particular note is that at this time the censored speech is critical of Clinton in ways consistent with the doctrine of the political party she affiliates with (archived).