Insurgent Florida Politician David Levin, the man who responsibly performed an audit of the Lee County Supervisor of Elections website and disclosed the results, has been sentenced to 20 days of prison for preforming that public service. As is traditional in the United States of Amerikkka after his release his freedoms will remain restricted as he is held a further two years in a state of probation. Peace in our time.
Category Archives: Shitware
Well Fargo Fined Over Non-Consensual Account Openings
Infamous fiat institution Wells Fargo bank has been fined over $100 million USD by The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau for "the widespread illegal practice of secretly opening unauthorized deposit and credit card accounts." The bank stands accused of allowing thousands of employees to open more than 2 million unauthorized deposit and credit accounts in secret, in order to hit sales targets, according to investigators. Fines and penalties imposed in the case total $185 million USD, with an additional $5 million being required to be paid as restitution to affected customers. Wells Fargo officials said managers and employees involved in the scheme had been fired, and that $2.6 million dollars in customer fees collected as a result of the deceptive activities has been refunded. Wells Fargo & Co is the fourth largest U.S. bank by assets, and the U.S. Treasury still holds warrants to buy about 110 million shares related to the 2008 financial crisis and bailout.
Update On Some Forking Losers
The latest attempt to organize a fork of the Bitcoin blockchain organized on the subreddit /r/btcfork is still underwhelming. The closest thing to an actual name attached to the project is that of noted hamplanet "community organizer" Marshall Long (WOT:nonperson) of GAW Miners and ClassicCoin infamy. The apparent mechanism for triggering their fork is now by setting a "flag day" as trigger mechanisms that require actual indicators of support are too much for them. This fork is setting itself up to be exactly Paycoin 2.0 with the addition of more economic failure modes inherent in being a Bitcoin hard fork. Can you smell what your loss is cooking?
Nothing Self Actualizes: Zapchain
$350,000 more in VC monies was flushed down the toilet Monday, as Social network Zapchain announced it was shutting down it's services August 21. Startup accelerator Boost VC launched the server less than a year ago and joins failed spam tipping service ChangeTip on the list of Bitcoin services no one really wants or needs. Zapchain company officials had not commented to press on the announcement, though Coindesk expressed hope was being placed on social ponzi experiment Steem to fill the gap. (archived) Sorry for your loss.
US Navy Project "Tor" Surrounded By Drama As USG Reasserts Control
Further drama continues to besiege the fandom surrounding the United States Navy project commonly referred to as "Tor" as the United States Government reasserts overt control over the project. Back in July the entire board was sacked with the exception of NSA asset, Political Officer, and project co-founder Roger Dingledine who transitioned to a "technical leadership" position along with his fellow co-founder. Now that it is a month later, the fandom community surrounding Tor is proposing a "general strike" and other forms of flailing because reality won't let them continue pretending this thing they though was their private playground never actually was any of the things they pretended. Sorry for your lost innocence.
After Years Of Rumours Coinbase Adds Litecoin Support, Kind Of
With rumours of Coinbase adopting Litecoin1 dating back to 2012, the time has finally arrived. Sort of. Coinbase has opened a market for trading a Litecoin versus United States dollar currency pair on their GDAX exchange. Anticipation that Coinbase would in some way do something with Litecoin peaked in August of 2013 when they hired Litecoin creator Charles Lee (WOT:coblee). Apparently Coinbase was just waiting for the right scamcoin to pop their altcoin cherry before letting the largely abandoned Litecoin take a ride with them. Sorry for your lost years.
Cost Of Wrong Kitty Litter Escalates Into The Billions Following Nuclear Waste Accident
The Los Angeles Times reports that the estimated cost of cleaning up a 2014 underground containment failure at a nuclear waste storage site in New Mexico is climbing past the two billion United States dollar mark (archived). The failure occurred at a facility located within an underground salt dome. A container holding Plutonium and Americium waste failed because organic kitty litter used as a binding agent reacted with the waste creating gas that lead to an explosion reportedly contaminating 35% of the space in the underground facility. Using inert mineral kitty litter would have prevented this accident.
The accident has lead to a cavalcade of fail1 as the facility's unsafety has lead to delays in sequestering waste from "temporary" storage at former nuclear weapons facilities including the notorious Hanford Site there. This means that in addition to the costs imposed by attempts to restore this salt dome to safety the accident has forced the United States Government to breach agreements with a number of state and local governments for failure to dispose of their nuclear trash according to agreed upon schedules. It has also threatened to bring the United States into violation of International Treaties with Russian and other nuclear powers on the reduction of weapons grade material.
The immediate cost of cleaning up after this breach is set to eclipse the Three Mile Island incident in absolute dollars, and the total cost imposed by the fallout is likely to eclipse Three Mile Island in inflation adjusted dollars. The latest alleged USMS auction of Silk Road-ish Bitcoins at 1.6 million United States dollars for 2700 Bitcoins can do nothing for the fiat order when it has debts like this. Sorry for your loss, but you should have read the label on that kitty litter.
This is not unlike the situation US farmers chose trading their windbreaks and their neighbor's orchards for a season's soybean harvest. ↩
Pokemon Go Fad Already Over
Pokemon Go, a surveillance and public health app developed by Niantic, is already seeing declining usage according to every possible metric (archived). Likely contributing factors include the game having been released broken with updates only introducing software that's even more broken and gameplay that's even less sophisticated than Cookie Clicker, Farmville, and supposed "games" played for fun. Combine that with the reality of rampant transmayoism keeping the most likely core fanbase from engaging in the optimal gameplay strategy of walking around outside and you have a complete market failure no amount of brand related nostalgia1 can save. Meanwhile other games with allegedly more satisfying mechanics are continuing to grow. Just say Pokemon No.
In related news Crystal Pepsi is back and 1990's nostalgia is apparently a thing marketers are trying to push. ↩
Bitfinex Partners Up For Your Loss
Admitting defeat in all their attempts to use actual Bitcoin, Bitfinex announced on their blog yesterday they have decided to resort to more fractional reserve tricks and have hired BnkToTheFuture1 to assist them in their efforts to compensate customers for their socialized losses due to the devastating hack that occurred earlier this month. The announcement stated that BnkToTheFuture "will be providing a Special Purpose Vehicle (SPV) through which qualifying BFX token holders can contribute their tokens in exchange for an equity interest in compliance with their individual jurisdictions". BnkToTheFuture received over USD $70 million in investments from other pretend Bitcoin services such as ShapeShit.io and Uphold. Bitfinex said customers could learn more about this new type of suppository on the BnkToTheFuture blog (archived). Sorry for your loss.
Also spelled "BitcoinBuilderMtGoxCoin Market" ↩
Fratire Retailer Suffers Pervasive Malware Installation
Popular fratire retailer Eddie Bauer suffered a pervasive installation of malware that spanned all of its 350 retail locations according to Brian Krebs (archived). This is astounding normal in electronic fiat payment systems. Krebs however has not offered any words on his blog concerning a far graver malfeasance recently uncovered. Sorry for your loss.