Category Archives: Shitware

Amazon Rolls Out An Index Librorum Prohibitorum

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Trump's chief strategist Steve Bannon recently compared the ongoing controlled demolition of Europe by marauding orc hordes to a scenario portrayed in an obscure novel, The Camp of the Saints (1973) by Jean Raspail.

The response by Amazon, the world's foremost peddler of DRM-laden electronic chumpware "books" was swift, merciless, and mindblowingly "original" : let's ban some books! And so if you want to obtain a copy of The Camp of the Saints from Amazon, you will now have to settle for a $2,000 collectible edition, because the Kindle chumpware item has vanished, having been made "…unavailable because there are significant quality issues with the source file supplied by the publisher. The publisher has been notified and we will make the book available as soon as we receive a corrected file."

Similar "quality control" problems have immediately cropped up in another alleged Bannon favourite, Julias Evola's Revolt Against the Modern World. And it turns out that Hitler's mega-bestseller Mein Kampf has also sprouted some sudden bit rot.

Peace in our time.

"Bitcoin" (Altcoin) Unlimited Experiences Drop In Node Count Due To Remote Crash Vulnerability

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The "Bitcoin Unlimited" node count experienced a very sharp ~65% drop around 7:30 PM UTC as a remote-crash vulnerability was made public on Twitter. The node count, as reported by coin.dance, fell to 259 from a previous measurement of 764 moments earlier.

The actual vulnerability is a result of the ineptitude of the "Bitcoin Unlimited" developers to incorrectly implement the usual "monkey see, monkey do" approach to software, by messing up the copy-pasting of power-rangerolade.

Peter Todd's straight Twitter disclosure was made in a context of heightened tensions among the two main flavors of idiocy, namely the SegWit peddlers and the Roger Verified "Bitcoin Unlimited" followers.

CEO Marissa Mayer Out At Yahoo As Verizon To Rebrand The Thing To Altaba

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Verizon announced that Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who presided over the leaks of everything, will be parting ways with Verizon and Yahoo. Further Verizon will be renaming the thing1 formerly known as Yahoo as Altaba. Mayer will recieve 23 million US dollars as severance in exchange for getting the fuck out of the way as Verizon attempts to get some value out of this rapidly spoiling acquisition. Peace in our time.

  1. Because more specific words like firm, business, etc fail to truly describe the loose collection of 90's nostalgia an impulse purchases assembled by Mayer  ↩

Wikileaks Hands Elected Trump US Government Weapon To Gut Careerist 'Deep State' US Government

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Today Wikileaks dumped a collection of CIA material focused on the agency's activities during Hussein Bahamas second term.1 Aside from the revelation that during this period the CIA created its own, less accountable version of the NSA; the agency apparently lost exclusive control over the apparatus near the end on the Hussein Bahamas administration.

The opportune timing of this Wikileak presents Trump with the prefect pretext for draining the careerist swamp at the CIA.2 This is bullish for plumbers.

  1. The password to decrypt the archive: SplinterItIntoAThousandPiecesAndScatterItIntoTheWinds  ↩

  2. Brave folks passing by Langley, Virginia should be on the lookout for new dykes, dams, windmills, and weirs in the area.  ↩

Shinohai's Shitcoin Roundup Xtend: Bitfinex's Token Addiction, Transaction "Acceleration", and itBit Rounding Bug

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Bitfinex, hoping to offer it's userbase more scam tokens to choose from, added cryptocurrency Dash back to it's roster against USD and BTC trading pairs. Bitfinex added the coin in 2014, only to remove it in August of the following year due to low trade volumes. Dash rose to the #3 spot on coinmarketcap.com with a nearly $300 million USD market cap, though price was down -9.04% in the past 24 hours of trading.

BTC.com mining pool, advocates of the Bitcoin Unlimited fork, started offering a new service that allows users to "accelerate" their transactions on the network by paying a fee using a credit card. Pools mining with the Unlimited software claim that blocks are "full" and that an unsafe hard fork is necessary while consistently mining empty blocks.

A hacker known as 4lemon discovered a flaw on itBit exchange that allowed users to send funds that didn't exist from one account to another due to a rounding bug. The user demonstrated he could send 0.000000005 XBT (Less than the trade minimum of 0.00000001) without triggering any sort of error in itBit's trade engine, resulting in SFYL.

Haoles At Coinbase Bail On Hawaii

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The Haoles at Coinbase announced earlier today that they will be suspending operations in the state of Hawaii indefinitely. An email sent to customers in the Aloha state informed them that "The Hawaii Division of Financial Institutions has recently communicated regulatory policies which will render continued Coinbase operations in Hawaii impractical. " Customers are being given the usual 30 day period to either transfer "their" Bitcoin to another address, or sell for fiat using the company's exchange. No word was available if or when services would resume there in the future. Sorry for your laws

Trump Issues Ultimatum To GOP: Obamacare Must Die Before Tax Reform

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Today addressing a gathering of governors, United States President Donald Trump issued an ultimatum that they repeal or replacement Obamacare must come before any tax reform proposals will be considered. This cutting ultimatum comes as congressional members of the party he saved have been the rate limiting factor slowing President Trump's agenda of summoning The Great Again.

Major US Socialist Party Experiences First Contested Chair Contest In Decades As Internal Divisions Grow

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Tom Perez (WOT:nonperson) won the first contested race for the chairmanship of the Democratic National Committee becoming the defacto boss of the party of losing. Perez, a former secretary of labor, represents the Hillary Rodham-Clinton establishment human trafficking wing of the part which recently lost everything, and he defeated Keith Ellison of the Bernie Sanders, Granola, and voluntary human extinction wing of the party. Meanwhile Trump reigns, praise be upon him.

Hussein Bahamas To Vacation Closer To Kenya?

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The doe-eyed founders of the Obama '17 Campaign for French President recently admitted to MSM that

It's definitely a joke. But it could make people think a little bit about what we could do differently in French politics.

Unsatisfied with the impending La Penmanship and the inevitable conclusion of the Nth Republique,1 this founding band of 30-something "creatives" don't appear to appreciate that Bahamas deported more people from his country and was at war longer than any other previous US President, all while greatly increasing the tax burden and doubling the national debt. Evidently, ostriches believing in the "Scandal-Free Presidency" mythology aren't unknown in the Paris area, as evidenced by the claim that

I think the whole world would love to have him as president

#pasvraiment but that hasn't stopped the increasing use of #ouionpeut.

  1. Not to mention eager to relive the glory days when foreign rulers oversaw the French / Gaulish provinces, whether that was Julius Caesar, Henry V, Henry VI, or Napolean.  ↩

Fire In The Security Theater: Cloudflare Leaks As SHA1 Broken

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Two honored pillars of the "cyber" security theater were lost recently in a fire.

Sorry for your loss.