After their announcement earlier this week, the Chicoms have expanded their planned tariffs to include soybeans.
Category Archives: News
British Government Lab Admits No Evidence For Scandal Used To Blow Up Diplomatic Relations And Court European Sympathy
Today Airstrip One's Porton Down defense laboratory admits it has no evidence to support loud Pantsuit allegations that the nerve agent used to poison a British double-agent came from Russia (archived). This news comes despite the government of the not so United Kingdom using the incident to blow up relations with Russia while fishing for solidarity with the continental Europeans whose Union the Brits will be leaving.
Despite the usual pantsuit media organs insisting Russia must have done it, the ready baked pantsuit public relations campaign accompanying the incident lacks an innocent look on its surface.
Venezuela's Education Minister: Eat Less If You Want To See Food In Supermarkets
Venezuela's education minister and former Vice President Elias Jaua blames empty grocery store shelves on his fellow Venezolanos and Venezolanas eating too much (archived). This was accompanied by his declaration that:
Thank God there is a Bolivarian Revolution and our people have a right to eat meat, chicken, milk, that they did not have ten, 14 years ago
Meanwhile the "right to eat" won by the Bolivarian Revolution has resulted in a net drop in Venezuela's per capita human mass of 11 kilograms. This resembles the manner in which Obamacare substantially reduced access to healthcare in the United States.
China Raises Tariffs On US Agricultural Exports
In response to economically nationalist moves made by the US Trump administration, China has moved to impose tariffs on a number of US agricultural products including pork and ginseng. Notably absent from tariffs at this time are soybeans. With Brazilian soybeans demanding a price premium for their higher dry weight protein content, a tariff on US soybeans would have likely have ended their marketability in China.
More Than A Week After Ransomware Strike US Municipality Remains Crippled
Stories leaking out of Atlanta suggest that the local government is still crippled more than a week after succumbing to ransomware (archived). Ransomware has been a common part of the internet landscape since spring 2013 yet large organizations in the United States remain woefully unequipped to survive.
Gold Diggers Take Grace Mugabe's Farm As Precedent Of Uncompensated Land Seizure Turns on The Mugabes
Reports out of the former Rhodesia indicate that recently deposed first lady Grace Mugabe's farm has a pest control problem with numerous orchards and fields uprooted by goldminers (archived). Mugabe and her husband's regime oversaw the uncompensated seizure of land including the farm currently occupied by an estimated 400 gold diggers from white farmers.
Boeing Production Hit By Ransomware Using USG.NSA Exploits
Reports are emerging that aerospace giant Boeing's production process has been crippled by malware utilizing exploits farmed by the United States NSA. According to local media reports the ransomware outbreak has crippled commercial airline production equipment and an effect on military products production is likely though unmentioned in the popular press (archived).
Ecuador Cuts Communications From Assange As Brits Go On Tilt
The Embassy of Ecuador in London has cut off communications between Julian Assange and the outside world following pressure from NATO member states. Recently the sublethal poisoning of a British Spy in London with a common nerve agent has been used as a pretext for the United Kingdom to pressure its allies into isolating Russia and other percieved enemies. The full text of Ecuador's announcement is below:
COMUNICADO OFICIAL
28 de marzo de 2018
EL GOBIERNO DE ECUADOR SUSPENDE LAS COMUNICACIONES DE JULIAN ASSANGE
El Gobierno de Ecuador suspendió de los sistemas que permiten a Julian Assange comunicarse con el exterior desde la embajada ecuatoriana en Londres, en donde el ciudadano permanece en situación de protección internacional desde hace seis años debido al riesgo que corre su vida e integridad.
La medida fue adoptada ante el incumplimiento por parte de Assange del compromiso escrito que asumió con el Gobierno a finales de 2017, por el que se obligaba a no emitir mensajes que supusieran una injerencia en relación a otros Estados.
El Gobierno de Ecuador advierte de que el comportamiento de Assange, con sus mensajes a través de las redes sociales, pone en riesgo las buenas relaciones que el país mantiene con Reino Unido, con el resto de los Estados de la Unión Europea y otras naciones. Por todo ello, para prevenir potenciales perjuicios, la embajada en Londres interrumpió este 27 de marzo las comunicaciones al exterior a las que tiene acceso Assange.
El Ejecutivo mantiene además abiena la vía a la adopción de nuevas medidas ante el incumplimiento del compromiso por parte de Assange.
Militia Veteran Of Oregon Liberation Campaign Ryan Bundy Running For Nevada Governorship
Ryan Bundy, a milita veteran of the 2016 Oregon liberation effort, announced he is running for the Governorship of Nevada. Ryan Bundy was wounded by federal gunfire in the FBI ambush where Lavoy Finicum was murdered. Bundy is mounting his campaign as an independent, to qualify for inclusion on the ballot Nevada law presents the rather trivial barrier of collecting 250 petition signatures before June 1st.
Europol Arrests Unnamed Man For Politely Persuading Eurobanks To Part With Cash
On Monday, March 26, armed thugs representing themselves as "Spanish National Police, with the support of Europol, the US FBI, the Romanian, Belarussian and Taiwanese authorities and private cyber security companies" arrested a yet-unnamed "mastermind" — who stands accused of causing "cumulative losses of over EUR 1 billion for the financial industry". And apparently this is not difficult:
"In all these attacks, a similar modus operandi was used. The criminals would send out to bank employees spear phishing emails with a malicious attachment impersonating legitimate companies. Once downloaded, the malicious software allowed the criminals to remotely control the victims’ infected machines, giving them access to the internal banking network and infecting the servers controlling the ATMs. This provided them with the knowledge they needed to cash out the money."
I.e. chair warmers were asked politely to install "Back Orifice" — and they (whether out of stupidity, or in exchange for a cut of the take — we are not told) obliged. As for MS-Windows, installed on bank infrastructure and in ATM boxes all over Europe: it, in turn, worked precisely as it was designed to work.
As of the time of this writing, the number of "bank employees" arrested in connection with their indispensable work in making this heist possible — stands at: zero. Likewise, the number of Microsoft executives held to answer for the very existence of "infectious attachments" as a concept — stands also at zero.1
The "mastermind" and his merry men also stand accused of Bernankeization without a license:
"Databases with account information were modified so bank accounts balance would be inflated, with money mules then being used to collect the money."
Magicking money into existence from thin air is, we learn, A-OK when carried out from a well-pedigreed bag of lard parked in an Aeron in New York — but not so much when it is done by non-bluebloods and on the wrong side of the Atlantic.
The accused, presently nameless — and held incommunicado — also stand to be punished for the unforgivable USG.crime of having "laundered via cryptocurrencies".
On the other hand, the EU bureaucracy informs us that the "perpetrator" of this "crime" supposedly was "vacationing in Spain" — rather suspiciously similar to the previous three major USG.kidnapping-under-the-colour-of-law victims; evidently crafting a replacement cover story for USG thugs' free hand in lifting people straight from the streets of Bucharest & elsewhere, would overrun the budget? ↩