Category Archives: Fiat/BTC interfaces

Lawyer For Militia Heroes Tazed For Demanding Release of Said Heroes After Acquittal

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Marcus Mumford, the lawyer for Ammon Bundy and the other heroes of the Oregon liberation, was reportedly tazed and detained by US Marshals for sensibly requesting that Ammon Bundy be able to leave the court room as a free man after his acquittal. U.S. District Judge Anna J. Brown  denied the request over a pending but unrealized indictment that may eventually be levelled against the now acquitted Ammon Bundy in Nevada. Brown allegedly repeated the popular US "law" enforcement catchphrase "Stop Resisting" as six United States Marshals restrained and repeatedly tazed Mumford.

No Justice, No Peace. Right Power!

All Militia Heroes Of Oregon Liberation Acquitted By Jury In Federal Court

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Local media is reporting that all surviving members of the Militia that liberated a portion of the high desert in Oregon at the beginning of this year have been acquitted in a Jury trial. Even after the presiding federal judge reconstituted the jury after initial deliberations had begun, the citizens decided that criminal charges were unwarranted. This encouraging development suggests that the United States does indeed have at least 12 citizens capable of exercising discretion as evidence by this case of the jury nullifying charges against these real American heroes.

Justice for the slaying of Lavoy Finicum remains unsatisfied.

Peace in our time.

Buggered Bitcurex Tries To Selectively Hide SFYL Based On Customer Language Skills

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Polish "Bitcoin exchange" Bitcurex.com1 has announced a 2300 BTC Sorry For Your Loss, finally admitting that the exchange was hacked after a recent spate of technical issues. Naturally, officials with the company have no idea who or how the breach occurred, only stating that on Oct. 13 unknown perpetrators broke into their servers and liberated the 5 million US dollars worth of Bitcoin. The website zaufanatrzeciastrona.pl, which broke the story of the hack, reports that the company has not released any information in the English language leading some to believe they wish to limit the amount of customers seeking refunds due to the theft. The same exchange was also robbed of 18,000 Bitcoin in 2014. Sorry for your loss.

  1. Association with Vircurex is uncertain at this time.  ↩

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 11 (TM)(R)

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Welcome to the eleventh edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • The United States Department of State has rejected offers for international elections observers to oversee the Untied States Presidential election on November 8th. The Department of State was headed by candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton until she stepped down to focus on her campaign. Traditionally the US Department of State has been a huge fan of sending international observers to oversee other countries elections.
  • A free trade deal between the European Union and Canada is being blocked by the brave Parliament of Wallonia. This French speaking region of Belgium is sticking it to the socialist Merkel led European government in Brussels by executing veto power over the treaty which would end 98% of the current tariffs between Merkel's 4th Reich and Canada. For their bravery the Walloons are being slandered in the mainstream press as "The Detroit" of Europe.
  • Thousands of former members of the United States armed forces who served in the past decades' misadventures in Southwest Asia are being compelled to repay their enlistment bonuses. These financial incentives were used to lure the affected veterans to fight in these wars in the first place as enthusiasm to fight in the desert was low when these bonuses were offered. Apparently all these years later the Department of "Defense" has decided it didn't really need these people fighting after all. This desperate financial move by the Department of "Defense" is not bullish for their ability to attract future volunteers during times where manpower is needed.
  • Donald Trump-Clinton was booed by New York elites at a fundraising dinner for Catholic charities after brining up anti papist positions espoused by Hillary Rodham-Clinton and her advisers in wikileaked communications.
  • ViaBTC continues to both exhibit unwarranted self importance and draw an excess of media attention. The Marshall Long affiliated mining operation bills itself as the "most professional" mining pool.
  • Blockstream is setting a target for this November to activate Jim Crow for transaction signatures.
  • Russia Today had their British bank accounts closed.
  • Accidental gay spat / pussy grabbing at random starlet's home.
  • Hillary Rodham-Clinton's fundraisers were further revealed to despair of ever receiving support from Bitcoin due to the fact the other team takes Bitcoin and the inherently conservative nature of Bitcoin.
  • Ecuador cut off internet access for their guest Julian Assange.
  • In a headline this week CoinTelegraph asked:

    What Stands in the Way of Bitcoin Mass Adoption in Africa?

    The answer continues to be the impossibility of mass adoption. Also Africa.

  • R3, the fiat effort that Mike Hearn quit pretending to be a part of Bitcoin to join admitted it has substantial budget difficulties. For details refer to the third bullet point of this Roundup Xtend (TM)(R).
  • The University of Missouri football team lost their homecoming game against unranked non-conference opponent Middle Tennessee. Last year the University's Board of Curators surrendered to demands placed by members of the football team in order to resolve a strike. The University has been rewarded so far this year with a two win five loss record with no wins in conference play. The 51 points allowed by Missouri were the most against a non-conference opponent at home since 1944.

Sorry for your loss.

Buggered Bitfinex Begs Burgler For Bitcoins Back

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Bitfinex has made a desperate attempt to reach out to the hacker that buggered their bum and liberated almost 120k Bitcoins from their platform in August with a post on their blog detailing the channels opened for dialogue. One of the methods even goes as far to suggest blockchain spam as a viable communication protocol.

From the announcement:

We believe that a combination of Tor and an anonymous email service should suffice to protect your identity and location. Encrypting your message with our PGP key further guarantees privacy from prying
eyes, but to prove your authenticity to us, we ask that you provide the public key associated with 1QDBWKgfftwuraEasMGSUvj9PPrswZv19q and sign your message with the corresponding private key.

Instead of using e-mail, you can send the authenticating information via Bitmessage and Tor. Our Bitmessage address is BM-2cW79647sMFe3fJKKGKAwXWwTSS293meq8.

Alternatively, you can send us a message on the Blockchain using OP_RETURN. You can encrypt a message (containing your pub key) with our PGP key, split up the message into 80-byte chunks, and send
transactions to 19eT7KGKo1gFjgBhEF4957wVNugkc2cakK from any one of the 2072 addresses currently holding the bitcoins in question.

Despite not being registered in the WoT, Bitfinex also somehow managed to make a gpg key and post it as well. The post closed by stating that they were "very anxious to hear" from the attacker, and asked if there is perhaps a different way that they would prefer to communicate, as absconding with $75 million in Bitcoin evidently did not send a clear enough message. (archived)

Nitrocellulose Recategorized As High Explosive In US Through Quiet Physics Defying Ruling

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The United States government quietly reclassified nitrocellulose, a humble plastic with deflagrating1 explosive properties under certain conditions, as a high explosive (archived). For one hundred and fifty-four years nitrocellulose plastic has safely been used in the production of common household objects including guitar picks and table tennis balls.

The safe, deflagrating failure mode of nitrocellulose also makes it the ideal propellant for ammunition and uniquely useful as flash paper in the magician's trade. As a deflagrating "low explosive" the explosive failure moves as a flame front through nitrocellulose at a speed far below that of sound. By contrast in actual "high explosive" material instead of a slow moving flame front explosive failure occurs with detonation and a shock wave that moves faster than the speed of sound.

Due to the greater hazard and handling requirements associated this reclassification effectively amount to a ban on small arms ammunition though US government Blackshirts insist they will not be enforcing this ban at the present. Coverage of this, even in specialist media, is complicated by noise produced by ongoing masturbatory lobbying over the implications of this change for wetted, non-explosive nitrocellulose rendered safe for bulk transport. Before being used in viable ammunition wetted nitrocellulose must first be dried rendering the masturbatory noise moot for end users.

Him in our time.

  1. Commonly referred to as "low explosive"  ↩

Quid Pro Quo And Arkencide – A Special Roundup Xtend(TM)(R)

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On the eve of the final Presidential debate between leftist candidate Donald Trump-Clinton and still more leftist candidate Hillary Rodham-Clinton, a veritable torrent of damaging information has continued to emerge about one of the candidates to muted mainstream response while the other one apparently likes girls to the mainstream's great consternation. Only the finest lulz are presented below:

  • In Hillsborough, North Carolina the local headquarters for the Republican Party1 was firebombed by terrorists. The attack was likely perpetrated by Brownshirts associated with the major socialist party. The terrorists not content to limit their message of hate to a firebomb covered the building with Nazi imagery in a celebration of their brand of Global Socialism as advanced by Hussein Bahamas and Hillary 'Clitler' Rodham-Clinton.
  • A recently set of leaks from the FBI reveals that Clitler aide Patrick Kennedy pressured the bureau to declassify a document emailed by Clinton. This enabled Clitler to hold a press conference and publicly declare her innocence of this particular crime she committed by stating the document is not classified though it was at the time she criminally mishandled classified information. In exchange for declassifying the document the FBI was granted permission to station more of their stooges abroad in a gratuitous example of quid pro quo.
  • Vince Foster, Ron Brown, Former President of the United Nations General Assembly John Ashe, and others known and unknown are still dead.
  • Donald Trump-Clinton's running mate and undisputed winner of the vice presidential debate Mike Pence endorsed Eric Greitens for Missouri Governor today. Greitens' campaign has leaned heavily on his prior employment as a Navy Seal and many of his early campaign ads consisted simply of Greitens firing weapons for the length of the TV spot.2 At present Eric Greitens is the most obvious beneficiary of Missouri Auditor and one time gubernatorial front runner Tom Schweich's untimely death.
  • Numerous women are speaking about Donald Trump-Clinton's alleged sexual advances towards them. These allegations began emerging approximately 4.5 weeks before election day. Though Donald Trump-Clinton has been publicly campaigning for President the past year and a half these allegations for some reason all waited until October to be voiced.
  • Donald Trump-Clinton has ramped up his allegations that this election is rigged in favor of Hillary 'Clitler' Rodham-Clinton. Trump's comments have highlighted the disproportionate mainstream media coverage given to his alleged defects of sexual character while Clitler's criminal actions as a government official which were contrary to the best interests of the United States get glossed over suggesting collusion. Donald Trump-Clinton further opened the question of how much deeper the collusion favoring Clitler's campaign is.

Reich in Peace.

  1. Also commonly known as the GOP, a minor socialist party in the United States.  ↩

  2. This approach has been emulated by major socialist party candidate for the United States Senate seat from Missouri Jason Kander who has taken to firing and field stripping weapons in his television advertisements.  ↩

Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 10 (TM)(R)

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Welcome to the tenth edition1 of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are decidedly innocent of newsworthiness.

  • After days of flirting and "Will they, won't they" speculation back and forth Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff announced on Friday that his firm would not be acquiring the troubled social engineering platform Twitter. Lack of user growth and no way to turn chronic losses into revenue are leaving Twitter with less suitors at the merger and acquisition dance hall than even Yahoo and Monsanto.
  • The next Ethereum hard fork is scheduled to be immediately followed by yet another hard fork. This second one will attempt to relieve some of the "bloat" introduced by inherent properties of the ether huffing protocol that surely "No One Could Have Foreseen!!!" (TM)(R)(/s) including the addition of tens of gigabytes of data ether huffing nodes have to track which all accumulated in the span of a couple weeks.
  • The Chinese Renminbi, a fiat perversion of currency further corrupted by its creators who deigned it a "People's Currency", has been undergoing some instability with the Chinese government moving to somehow devalue it further.
  • The exchange traded fund proposed by the Winkelvii years ago still requires further time for the SEC to sit on it before they are willing to allow it to trade on fiat markets.
  • For his next file sharing operation, Kim Dotcom is partnering up with BnkToTheFuture of Bitfinexodus fame.
  • Some Russians are about to turn on a private Ethereum clone they dubbed "MasterChain" so perhaps the very public "covert" CIA operation against Russia will have something to attack after all.
  • The "Satoshi Forest" homeless encampment has once again been denied permits. "Satoshi Forest" is an operation by "Sean's Outpost" which has been accepting capital from the public in Bitcoin for years only to expend it on consumables.
  • The developers behind Jim Crow for signatures are proposing that once they have a client that allows their noisy non-transactions that they will unveil a "smart contract" platform utilizing these features which they refer to as MAST. Mast is the edible debris produced by woody plants that is frequently consumed by wildlife as forage. The humble acorn is the prototypical example of a mast component.
  • The time is still not ripe for Bitcoin remittance in Africa.
  • Blockchain.info is blaming their recent downtime on a DNS attack against their registrar.
  • Litecoin is this week's featured altcoin drawing attention disproportionate to its relevance for having been mentioned at all.2
  • Japan supposed they could levy a sales tax on Bitcoin transactions and then they stopped supposing they could do so.
  • Donald Trump-Clinton has challenged Hillary Rodham-Clinton to take a drug test before their next presidential debate. Former US President Richard Nixon launched a "war" against drugs in the United States which government forces in the Untied States have been losing since it was announced on June 18th, 1971. During the course of this war no presidential candidate has yet confirmed their actual freedom from the influence of drugs to the public by pissing in a cup. On the contrary the last three presidents are all confirmed to have consorted with the enemy by engaging in relationships with the marijuana weed.

Sorry for your loss.

  1. Indeed the first decade of Roundup Xtend (TM)(R) has come to a close.  ↩

  2. Ongoing shame on you CCN.  ↩

Brit Faces Extradition For Trading On US Markets

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Preet, the physical manifestation of evil in our timesA British man faces extradition for trading securities on markets in the United States. "Authorities"1 accuse the man of placing orders in a manner that lead other traders to panic which was followed by a "flash crash" in the markets in which the man was trading. The man faces criminal charges in the United States despite the clear fact that the panic came from defects of character inherent in the other traders. They further allege his cancelling and changing orders amounted to "spoofing" though every man is rightly entitled to change his position based upon the best information available at the time, and time is always moving.

As the saying goes, "If you spot it, you got it." These so called authorities in the United States are clearly in the grips of fear that their beloved fiat fiction and its inherent fragility are the product of their own spoofing. Sorry for your loss.

  1. This is a code word for Preet Bharara.  ↩