The slow motion flailing of empires against one another continues as the Shanghai International Energy Exchange has begun pricing crude oil contracts in the Chinese Renmibi rather than that other paper currency. (archived)
Category Archives: Altcoins
Gold Diggers Take Grace Mugabe's Farm As Precedent Of Uncompensated Land Seizure Turns on The Mugabes
Reports out of the former Rhodesia indicate that recently deposed first lady Grace Mugabe's farm has a pest control problem with numerous orchards and fields uprooted by goldminers (archived). Mugabe and her husband's regime oversaw the uncompensated seizure of land including the farm currently occupied by an estimated 400 gold diggers from white farmers.
Brexit: More Than 300,000 .eu Domains With British Registrants To Be Garbage Collected
As part of the ongoing cleaving initiated by the Brexit process, the European Union is moving to cancel all .eu domain names with registrants based in Airstrip One. How future departures will be handled is uncertain at this time.
Boeing Production Hit By Ransomware Using USG.NSA Exploits
Reports are emerging that aerospace giant Boeing's production process has been crippled by malware utilizing exploits farmed by the United States NSA. According to local media reports the ransomware outbreak has crippled commercial airline production equipment and an effect on military products production is likely though unmentioned in the popular press (archived).
Militia Veteran Of Oregon Liberation Campaign Ryan Bundy Running For Nevada Governorship
Ryan Bundy, a milita veteran of the 2016 Oregon liberation effort, announced he is running for the Governorship of Nevada. Ryan Bundy was wounded by federal gunfire in the FBI ambush where Lavoy Finicum was murdered. Bundy is mounting his campaign as an independent, to qualify for inclusion on the ballot Nevada law presents the rather trivial barrier of collecting 250 petition signatures before June 1st.
Europol Arrests Unnamed Man For Politely Persuading Eurobanks To Part With Cash
On Monday, March 26, armed thugs representing themselves as "Spanish National Police, with the support of Europol, the US FBI, the Romanian, Belarussian and Taiwanese authorities and private cyber security companies" arrested a yet-unnamed "mastermind" — who stands accused of causing "cumulative losses of over EUR 1 billion for the financial industry". And apparently this is not difficult:
"In all these attacks, a similar modus operandi was used. The criminals would send out to bank employees spear phishing emails with a malicious attachment impersonating legitimate companies. Once downloaded, the malicious software allowed the criminals to remotely control the victims’ infected machines, giving them access to the internal banking network and infecting the servers controlling the ATMs. This provided them with the knowledge they needed to cash out the money."
I.e. chair warmers were asked politely to install "Back Orifice" — and they (whether out of stupidity, or in exchange for a cut of the take — we are not told) obliged. As for MS-Windows, installed on bank infrastructure and in ATM boxes all over Europe: it, in turn, worked precisely as it was designed to work.
As of the time of this writing, the number of "bank employees" arrested in connection with their indispensable work in making this heist possible — stands at: zero. Likewise, the number of Microsoft executives held to answer for the very existence of "infectious attachments" as a concept — stands also at zero.1
The "mastermind" and his merry men also stand accused of Bernankeization without a license:
"Databases with account information were modified so bank accounts balance would be inflated, with money mules then being used to collect the money."
Magicking money into existence from thin air is, we learn, A-OK when carried out from a well-pedigreed bag of lard parked in an Aeron in New York — but not so much when it is done by non-bluebloods and on the wrong side of the Atlantic.
The accused, presently nameless — and held incommunicado — also stand to be punished for the unforgivable USG.crime of having "laundered via cryptocurrencies".
On the other hand, the EU bureaucracy informs us that the "perpetrator" of this "crime" supposedly was "vacationing in Spain" — rather suspiciously similar to the previous three major USG.kidnapping-under-the-colour-of-law victims; evidently crafting a replacement cover story for USG thugs' free hand in lifting people straight from the streets of Bucharest & elsewhere, would overrun the budget? ↩
Pantsuit Disarmament March Eclipsed In Popular Headlines By Opposition From Musicians: Killa Mike And Bataclan Survivor Jesse Hughes Call For Sanity
A disarmament march carried out by young pantsuits supporting citizen disarmament in the United States was overshadowed in the Pantsuit media this weekend by celebrity opposition. The trend was started by a National Rifle Association interview with beloved gangsta rapper Killer Mike who attacked young gun grabbers as 'progressive lackeys' and 'not woke' working to 'progress us into slavery' (archived).
This was followed today by pantsuit pearl clutching in outrage against Bataclan terror attack survivor Jesse Helms who compared people opposing their own gun ownership because of violence to men chopping off their own dicks to stop rape. Helms further accused the student activists the pantsuit march was centered around of exploiting their classmates' deaths for Facebook likes (archived).
"Developed" Norway Lacks Means To Receive Imports
News has emerged this weekend that Norway, a country that consistently tops development indices as compiled by pantsuits, lacks the infrastructure to recieve imported cars. Elon Musk's Tesla Motors has been frustrated by the lack of transporters sufficiently competent to move their product from ports of entry to customers (archived). Incidents include cars being crushed during transport due to collapse of the trailer carrying them and numerous interdictions of shipments by police leading to substantial delays following failed safety inspections.
Moves In Trump Administration Signal The Remains Of The US Moving Into A More Aggressive Posture
In pursuit of the Great Again, US President Donald Trump has retained noted advocate of blowing shit up in pursuit of regime change John Bolton as his National Security Adviser. The Iraq war relic's hiring along with recent overtures to trade wars suggest the path to The Great Again is narrowing.
Rising African Political Star Criticises "Poor" Australia: "No Black People To Exploit"
Rising South African political star Julius Malema has criticised Australian Home Minister Peter Dutton for offering white South African farmers a place of refuge from racism in their home country. Malema insisted Australia lacks the necessary amount of exploitable black people necessary for white farmers to avoid poverty. Malema offered the following concerns with respect to the plight of his white agragrian countrymen:
If they want to go, they must go. They must leave the keys to their tractors because we want to work the land, they must leave the keys to their houses because we want to stay in those houses.
Don’t make noise, because you will irritate us. Go to Australia. It is only racists who went to Australia when Mandela got out of prison. It is only racists who went to Australia when 1994 came. It is the racists again who are going back to Australia.
They are rich here because they are exploiting black people. There is no black person to be exploited in Australia, they are going to be poor.
They will come back here with their tail between their legs. We will hire them because we will be the owners of their farms when they come back to South Africa. As to what we are going to do with the land, it’s our business, it’s none of your business.
We want Africa back. Africa belongs to our people. (archived)
Malema is the major opposition figure to South African president Cyril Ramaphosa who last month pushed through measures to allow white African land to be taken without compensation.