In the absence of firm admissions of guilt, known USG influence outlets including Conde Nast publications are pleaing that the malware pushed into phuctorable MikroTik routers was part of a US Special Operations Command anti-Terrorism effort (archived, archived). Presumably this is part of the terrorist Pantsuit USG campaign to creating dialogue points for shifting the overton window on shitware.
Category Archives: Africa
Saif Ghaddafi Attempting Libyan Presidential Campaign 7 Years After Pantsuit Murdered His Father And Plunged Libya Into Chaos
Seven years after Pantsuit Hillary Rodham Clinton threw Libya into chaos and caused the murder of Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, son Saif Al-Islam Gaddafi is attempting a presidential campaign to bring stability back to Libya. The 45 year old scion of the late Libyan leader is rumoured to be in exile successfully evading all manner of "summons" and "indictments" including an in absentia death sentence ordered by a local pantsuit puppet court (archived). Until June 2017 Saif Gaddafi had been continusly in the custody of the local militia which captured him in 2011. Said militia refused to carry out the July 2015 in absentia death sentence and released Gaddafi for reasons uncertain at present.
Five Days After Erection "100 Year" Pedestrian Bridge Collapses In Florida
This week a pedestrian bridge with an advertised "100 Year Lifespan" collapsed on its fifth day post erection. Architectural features of the bridge included concrete trusses and a concrete roof for aesthetic effect. The bridge collapsed onto an active roadway. Six cadavers have been recovered from the rubble so far (archived).
US SEC, Elizabeth Holmes, And Theranos Announce "Massive Fraud"Charges And Proposed Settlement Together
The United States Securities and Exchange Commision announced it was filing charges of "Massive Fraud" against Elizabeth Holmes and her Initial Coin Offering, Theranos Labs. Curiously the press release revelaing charges also announced that a settlement has already been agreed to (archived). Also curiously absent from mainstream pantsuit coverage of the charges is the scent of corruption allowing the well connected pantsuits to escape with this sweetheart settlement:
Theranos and Holmes have agreed to settle the fraud charges levied against them. Holmes agreed to pay a $500,000 penalty, be barred from serving as an officer or director of a public company for 10 years, return the remaining 18.9 million shares that she obtained during the fraud, and relinquish her voting control of Theranos by converting her super-majority Theranos Class B Common shares to Class A Common shares. Due to the company’s liquidation preference, if Theranos is acquired or is otherwise liquidated, Holmes would not profit from her ownership until – assuming redemption of certain warrants – over $750 million is returned to defrauded investors and other preferred shareholders. The settlements with Theranos and Holmes are subject to court approval. Theranos and Holmes neither admitted nor denied the allegations in the SEC’s complaint.
Ripple Versus R3 Holdco Spat Continues
Nearly four years after its disposal, RIPple Labs continues being encumbered in litgation. In its fight with R3 Holdco, prominent provider of sinecures for stooges, RIPple Labs lost the contest over which court has jurisdiction (archived).
Trump Begins Cleaning White House With Firings
No longer content to let the marginal figures he surrounded himself with in the hope that they might come to love The Great Again, Trump has begun firing senior wafflers. Today's elemination list includes Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Undersecretary of State Steve Goldstein. Make "You're Fired", Great Again!
US FBI And Canadian Mounties Kill Startup After Entrapment Campaign
The CEO of cellular phone hardware startup Phantom Secure was arrested following a joint entrapment campaign conducted by the US FBI and Canadian Mounties (archived). Phantom Secure specialized in reselling Blackberry phones that had been substantially improved through the removal of frivilous shit like cameras and microphones while loading the improved devices with a more mininalist operating system image.
Memcached DDoS Attacks Lead To Record Breaking Levels Of Wank
A recent wave of amplified DDoS attacks utilizing wrongly configured memcached servers has lead to unprecedented levels of wank among the self described "seekootity community" in recent days. The attacks work by sending spoofed UDP packets to the maliciously unsecured servers triggering the servers to respond by spewing data at the target destination.
The wank comes from an obvious solution which neuters the offending nuissance memcached installations. The memcached servers capable of being recruited into DDoS attacks are also vulnerable to being issued a "flush-all" command which will cause the server to register everything in its cache as expired. This denies an ongoing denial of service attack cached items to dump on a target (archived).
The wankers are naturally compelled to wank about the supposed ethics and inconveniences this obvious solution imposes on the dangerous idiots operating nuissance machines.
Nationalist Dissident Group Leadership Incarcerated In Britain
Paul Golding and Jayda Fransen, leaders of the British Nationalist dissident group "Britain First" have been sentenced to spend 18 and 36 weeks respectively incarcerated for "anti-religious" hate crimes. The two were accused of spreading "hostility towards muslims" for bringing publicity to a "gang rape" trial. The kangaroo court further alleged the two engaged in abusive behavior towards circus bureacrats during their own trial.
Attendees Drugged At Brock Pierce Linked Event
At a New York conference nominally about "cryptos" attendees reported being drugged en mass after consuming ambiguously labeled items from the menu that were infused with cannabis extracts (archived). The adventurous caterer allegedly went beyond the traditional drug infused desert items and managed to drug menu items as varied as hot sauce, cocktails, and olives while a DJ was spinning "electronic dance music" throughout the event. This appears to have been a very Amir Taaki effort on the part of the event's organizers.