Impotent USG Unseals "Warrant" For Liberated Iranian Tanker

The USG has unsealed the "warrant" it issued for the seizure of the Iranian tanker released by Gibraltar yesterday. Far more interesting than the unsealed warrant is the press release announcing the unsealing of the warrant which is at the same time triumphantly self congratulating while including one very important caveat, bolded in the text of the press release reproduced below:

WASHINGTON – A seizure warrant and forfeiture complaint were unsealed today in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia alleging that Oil Tanker “Grace 1,” all petroleum aboard it and $995,000.00 are subject to forfeiture based on violations of the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA), bank fraud statute, and money laundering statute, as well as separately the terrorism forfeiture statute.

John Demers, Assistant Attorney General, National Security Division, Jessie K. Liu, U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia, Steven W. Cagen, Special Agent in Charge, Denver, Colorado, Homeland Security Investigations; and Jill Sanborn, Special Agent in Charge, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Federal Bureau of Investigation, made the announcement.

The documents allege a scheme to unlawfully access the U.S. financial system to support illicit shipments to Syria from Iran by the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC), a designated foreign terrorist organization. The scheme involves multiple parties affiliated with the IRGC and furthered by the deceptive voyages of the Grace 1. A network of front companies allegedly laundered millions of dollars in support of such shipments.

A seizure warrant and a forfeiture complaint are merely allegations. The burden to prove forfeitability in a civil forfeiture proceeding is upon the government.

In announcing the forfeiture complaint and seizure warrant, U.S. Attorney Liu commended the work of those who investigated the case from HSI and FBI. They also expressed appreciation for the Criminal Division’s Office of International Affairs for its assistance in this case. Finally, they acknowledged the work of Assistant U.S. Attorneys Zia Faruqui and Brian Hudak and National Security Division Trial Attorney David Lim who are handling this matter, with assistance from Paralegal Elizabeth Swinec and Brian Rickers, and Legal Assistant Jessica McCormick from the U.S. Attorney’s Office from the District of Columbia.

As Mircea Popescu very helpfully pointed out yesterday in response to this failure of the USG to impose its will:

get ready for a lot more "over usg objections" once Trilema opened the floodgates.

NYC Subway Station Temporarily Shuttered Over Presence Of Pressure Cookers

A subway station in New York was closed while police worked to determine two pressure cookers in the station were simply mundane kitchen equipment and not dangerous instruments of terrorism (archived). Simple pressure cooking vessels retail for ~50 USD in the US. This means ~100 USD in expenditure for materials incurred many orders of magnitude greater expenditure from the imperial security budget.

Six Cops Attempting To Invade Philadelphia Home Shot By Lone Defender

Six police officers in Philadelphia attempting to raid a local home were shot by a lone defender (archived). After repelling the initial assault, 36 year old Black American Patriot Maurice Hill maintained a standoff for 7 hours before surrendering. During the standoff neighborhood residents taunted USG forces and pelted them with thrown objects as the police were being fired upon by the defender. The terms of Maurice Hill's surrender obligate the USG to pay his food, board, and medical costs until his release.

The aggressor force claims to have had a narcotics related warrant issued by local courts whose self proclaimed authority neither Mister Hill nor his neighbors recognized.

British Gibraltar Releases Iranian Tanker Over US Objections

The Iranian tanker captured by British forces and held in the Queendom's Gibraltar has been released (archived). The USG tried to intervene by having the US "Department of Justice" file a petition with local authorities to seize the vessel for themselves. That effort failed.

Verizon Unloads Tumblr On Automattic After Value Collapses Under Porn Ban

Nine months after Verizon subsidary1 Tumblr enacted a ban on pornography, Verizon is unloading the troubled property on Automattic (archived). Yahoo purchased Tumblr for 1.1 billion USD in 2013, but rumors and innuendo surrounding the deal suggest a sale price in this deal near the 3 million USD mark with an upper bound on the yet to be disclosed price of 10 million USD. Auttomatic has expressed their intention to continue the insane ban on "adult" content as per their policy of fixing nothing ever.


  1. via Yahoo acquisition  

Peso Argentino And Argentine Markets Fall After Primary Elections Give "Peronist" Alberto Fernandez, Cristina Kirchner Margin Sufficient To Win October Ballot Outright

Primary elections in Argentina on Sunday returned results that gave the "Peronist" ticket of Alberto Fernandez and Cristina Kirchner sufficient votes to win the October general election outright if yesterday's performance is repeated. This has been met with a 14.5 percent fall of the Peso Argentino against the USD, while the brief narrowing of the buy/sell spead of the Peso Argentino in Uruguay has been blown open with exchanges in Uruguay advertising spreads as wide as 0.50/1.15 (archived). Argentina's stock market has suffered today as well.

In a development less clearly connected to Argentina's electoral/economic disaster, the twitter account of Prefectura Naval Argentina was "hacked" to broadcast an hoax alert claiming a British missile attack had killed 27. In the incredibly unlikely event a new Falklands conflict opened up again between Argentina and Queen Elizabeth's forces, the largest open question is which of the two combatants declined more in the intervening decades.

Arkancide Today: Jeffery Epstein Dead In Jail Two Weeks After Being Put On Suicide Watch, Hours After Pantsuit Names Released

USG Blue party supernode, "intelligence asset", and alleged child sex trafficker Jeffery Epstein was found dead today in his cell at the Manhattan Correctional center. He was reportedly placed on suicide watch two weeks ago after being found injured in his cell, but either the watch was lacking or Epstein was especially determined. His death comes hours after earlier litigation1 concerning one girl passed through his operations was unsealed exposing numerous Pantsuit names.

Among the names involved in that particular girl's time in Epstein's network include Bill Richardson who spent time during the Clinton administration as US ambassador to the UN and Secretary of Energy. As Secretary of Energy he presided over the railroading of Wen Ho Lee in a hallucinated espionage panic. Also samed are former US Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell, and the late MIT LISP fellow and "useless machine" inventor Marvin Minsky.


  1. Specifically the unsealed suit in question was filed against Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's operations girl and child of Mossad agent Robert Maxwell. 

DIY "If You Want A Gun You Can Print It" Guru Cody Wilson Pleas And Enters "Sex" Offender Registry

Cody Wilson, the DIY firearms guru trapped in a sex sting by the USG last year has plead to charges of injuring a child, down from charges of sexual assualt initially brought by the USG over an incident where Wilson allegedly paid a sex worker for sex (archived). The plea agreement places Wilson on probation for seven years and requires his registration as a sex offender.

The platform where Wilson was targeted by this underage USG agent required users to attest to being over the age of legal majority creating substantial contrast between this case and that of a certain Conde Nast tech writer.

More Than A Quarter Of US C-130H/J Grounded Over Structural Concerns

The United States Air Mobility Command has grounded 123 of the 450 planes in its C-130H and C-130J transport aircraft (archived). The official line on the grounding is that "unusual cracking" was found in the lower center wing joint. This sudden reduction in transport capacity is not a good look for the USG's operational capacity in light of its other recent failings.