CIA Stooge's Venezuela Coup Gets Violent

CIA stooge Juan Guiadó claims to have begun the "final phase" of his sponsors plan to oust democratically elected Venezuelan President Maduro as violence breaks out in the country. Guiadó's forces appear to be focusing their efforts on seizing La Carlota AIrbase1 near Caracas. At the same time Guiadó is summoning his followers into the streets to serve as human sheilds while his forces attack Venezuelan targets. There are reports a number of Venezuelan military personnel were unaware they were acting with pro-Guiadó forces in the early going due to the general confusion and active deception, but the Venezuelan military reports 80% of the confused have returned to support the democratically elected government of Venezuela (archived).


  1. Capturing an entry point for USG material and personnel.  

China Souring On Dirty Canadian Agricultral Products

Exports from Canadian farms are increasinly being rejected or delayed in Chinese ports due to concerns over pests, sanitation, and other potential threats to the Chinese environment (archived). The Canada government abducted Chinese businesswoman Meng Wanzhou in December of 2018 at the behest of an organized crime operation in the US.

German Secret Police Panic Over "Prepping" Fad

Germany's domestic spy agency the BfV is raising alarms over a growing prepping fad which these secret police are presenting as a "undergroung far-right" threat to zher democracy (archived). That some people in Germany are stockpiling food, water, firearms, and other supplies as well as practicing in their use out of a fear that Germany could go to shit is apparently a problem for Zher Merkel's snitches.

Bitfinex Slammed In New York For Allegely Using Tether "Stablecoin" Reserves As Slush Fund To Cover Losses

New York prosecutor Letitia James has announced an ongoing fraud investigation into Bitfinex for mingling customer and corporate funds with the purpose of concealing losses using the USD reserves of their Tether "stablecoin" (archived). Allegedly 700 million USD backing the stablecoin were used to conceal an 850 million USD loss. Bitfinex denies doing business in or having any connection to New York.

Pantsuitist Loots NGO Lobbying To Get UN Job, Gets Job UN And Fucks NGO All While Thinking Of The Children

The local press in Uruguay is telling the story of Pantsuitist Luis Pedernera's successfully executed and very typically Pantsuitist career advancement scheme (archived). Pedernera started with a job as a lawyer for the local "Instituto de Estudios Legales del Uruguay" where burned his employer's funds lobbying for to secure a job on the UN's "Comité de los Derechos del Niño" and catching notice through his advancement of very weird ideas on childhood.

Pedernera's former employer is now broke and selling the apartment dressed as an office where they tried to maintain headquarters in Montevideo's Old City.

US Court Rules In Favor Of Police Finger Forcing

In Massachusetts Judge Judith Dein ruled that agents of the ATF of Waco Infamy may force the fingers of defendant Robert Brito-Pina or anyone else found on his properties in order to unlock their electronic devices (archived). An ATF stooge begging before the Judge's decision offered that his victims:

often use cellular telephones to acquire or sell illegal guns

and that cellular phones are

normally maintained for reasonably long periods of time because they are expensive, can often be subject to long-term contracts that contain substantial penalties for early termination, can store large amounts of information, and do not easily wear out.

to justify is broad spectrum finger forcing desires.

Californication: Home Depot Looks To Withdraw From Indefensible Oakland Location

Home Depot is considering the closure of their stores in Oakland and Emeryville California over the failure of the locals to contain blight including homeless encampments abutting the perimeter of their stores (archived). The Oakland store generates approximately 8 million USD in sales taxes annually for the city government by Oakland's own reporting. Last year a propane tank explosion rocked the encampment yet its presence persists (archived). A letter sent by a regional executive of the chain cited persistent theft and safety hazards as problems affecting the location.

Local authorities estimate housing and "servicing" their homeless of ~28,000 heads would cost 12.7 billion USD or roughly 450,000 USD per individual "serviced" by the local government.

US Prepares To Tackle Illegal Immigration… With Facial Recognition Wank For Folks LEAVING The US

As progress on Trump's wall is slowed due to his captiulation on budgeting, US airlines are being compelled to engage in facial recognition scans for departing passengers in the name of combatting illegal immigration (archived). It appears construction of the metaphorical wall is indeed proceeding, but this one aims to keep people in. While all the popular talk is on immigration, the barriers are going up to stop emigration.

In US Capital Pro-Maduro Protestors March Against Guaidó At Embassy

Three months after the US Color revolution in Venezuela began and faltered, protesters are marching in DC to prevent allies of US stooge and Macron look-a-like Guaidó's chosen diplomats from taking possession of the embassy (archived). Or as the protestors describe themselves:

A group of U.S. citizens, angered by the U.S.-orchestrated attempt to topple the Venezuelan government, has established an Embassy Protection Collective (Collectives for Peace) to keep the embassy from falling into the hands of the unelected opposition

The elected government of President Nicolas Maduro remains in control of the Venezuelan embassy to the US though the US Secret Service seized the military attache’s office March 18th. The Venezuelan Consulate in New York has also been captured by US backed forces.