In Piece About Journalists Getting Definitions Wrong WaPo Gets Definition Wrong

A piece in the Washington Post's online magazine Slate attempted to take other propaganda organs to task in an effort to unify their message as they exploit Orlando to advance their socialism. Unfortunately they got a definition wrong. The error:

An assault weapon is a semi-automatic gun that can accept detachable magazines and has a pistol grip and foldable stock (to increase the gun’s length).

A firearm with those qualities is actually properly referred to as a Modern Sporting Rifle per the National Shooting Sports Foundation. In propaganda land the civilian legal semiautomatic long guns are ominously referred to as assault weapons, a label that properly refers to battlefield instruments including seige engines and trebuchets. Meanwhile the fully automatic and selective fire inspirations for these modern sporting files get to hold the comparatively respectable title of assault rifle. Apparently if the criminal gang in Washington, DC gets to wield the firearm, it gets dignified as a rifle, but sporting instruments available to civilians get demeaned as mere weapons. Peace in our time.

Buterin's Waterfall Unveils Log Plume To Wood Chipper Ride

Tumultuous storms rocked the Buterin's Waterfall amusementarium Friday morning, after an alleged hack caused prices to plummet against Bitcoin. Coinmarketcap.com showed the DAO1 down -20.34%, with Ether dipping -12.07 % over the past 24 hours. A blog post on slock.it informed users that no funds would be lost due to this "race to empty" bug. To support their claims, a hand-drawn morale graph was offered for assurances. Lacking immutability, ride operators suggested "rolling back" their blockchain to make the hack's effects2 magically vanish. Sorry for your loss.


  1. The Waterfall's newest ride the DAO adds a new twist to the classic log Flume by ending with riders entering a wood chipper instead of a SplashCam(TM)(R)  

  2. And any other things that happened on the blockcain concurrently..  

Acquihired Changetip Can't Unload Actual Changetip "Business"

CoinDesk would like you to know that their sibling under a shared corporate parent, ChangeCoin is still reporting trouble selling the micro transaction framework ChangeTip since its sale to Airbnb back in April. (archived) Changetip/Changecoin raised almost ~4 million US dollars in it's first round of investor funding before their lack of a sustainable revenue model became an issue. Qntra has previously reported on the woes facing failed spam service back in April. As part of their money in, nothing out philosophy they raised an additional $640,00 in January 2016 after announcing they had run out of funds before the sale.

When Qntra reported on Changetip's phasing in of withdrawal fees back in December 2015 Changetip's Victoria van Eyk (WOT:nonperson) offered the following in the comments:

Please stop this kind of hate. We're not a spamming service. In fact, people use our service for good all the time – just ask any of the 20 charities we support via our platform, or any of the bloggers and musicians who have been delighted at receiving donations for their content.

I'm sorry if you've experienced spam.

The 1% withdrawal fee has always been in the plan, and has simply been prolonged for over a year now. But of course you don't focus on the awesomeness of having used a free service, you choose to focus on the fact that we're only implementing it now.
And yes, transactions cost money to hit the blockchain. Usually anything of value costs value in return.

We didn't "employ a(n) /r/Bitcoin moderator in an effort to avoid complete shunning" – that is just simply inaccurate. We employed BashCo because he was a ChangeTip supporter from the very early days, and we like compensating people for their time, energy and effort.

From my personal point of view, it's sad to see such negative posts like this. The whole community seems to want bitcoin to succeed, but they lambast and throw insults at any company working hard to do it. It's a real shame.

The Bitcoin community had a huge opportunity to help shape ChangeTip into something beautiful to use to help bitcoin adoption forward, and largely has allowed negativity to consume this possibility.

-Victoria1


  1. The lack of a GPG signature or WoT presence makes this statement's authorship not definitively verifiable though information suggests it was actually her statement, this is a challenge for those attempting to do business as WoTless nonpersons.  

US Air Force Fraud Investigations Lost

As mentioned in an article by Mircea Popescu's on Clinton infosec failures, United States Air Force fraud and abuse investigations dating back to 2004 were lost when a database became corrupted. Lockheed Martin did not notify the Air Force of the catastrophic failure until two weeks after it occurred. Amongst the 12 years worth of lulz lost were files belonging to the USAF Inspector General’s office that detailed personal information and allegations of cases of fraud, waste and abuse. The involved parties are seeking assistance from outside data recovery forms to assess the situation and see if any of the information can be restored. Sorry for your loss.

Clinton And Major Socialist Party Data Released By Hero

Hillary Clinton (WOT:nonperson) and the US Idiot Party proved their incompetence for the millionth time recently by managing to lose control over a bunch of secret (and a lot more merely embarrassing) documents.

It's true that the USG has a rich history of shredding incriminating evidence by the pail while "suspecting no foul play" through the convenient mechanism of "technological mishaps". Nevertheless, there's a difference between pretending to not know what backups are in order to get rid of embarrassing details of multi-billion dollar graft surrounding the world's most expensive airplane-submarine, and failing to lock the heart shaped brass fixture on the Super Secret Teenage Neutered Ninja Turtles diary.

As Clinton is already famous for managing to rape more laws than Petraeus (WOT:nonperson) while avoiding any sort of prosecution (unlike Petraeus), the USG Derpage Department kicked in high gear and regaled the world with a delightful narrative of "sophisticated hackers" and "Russia or China" involvement, to rival the recent embarrassment over similar (and similarly false) allegations, not to mention the script of whatever action-movie-of-the-week. The hacker apparently had WMDs!

Much to the embarrassment of the shitshow empire, the hacker actually read enough of #trilema to go public – and did so in style! guccifer2.wordpress.com hosts a trove of amusing stupidity (all in Microsoft formats) as well as supposedly "secret" documents as classified by the world's most incompetent empire. Apparently the "very sophisticated" attack wasn't sophisticated at all. Apparently the super cereal "presidential candidate" and Martha Stewart (WOT:nonperson) look-alike is very easily defeated! Apparently everyone working for the USG is fucking stupid!

Who could have ever predicted any of this ?!

Stay tuned for more incredible stories of the obvious!

Facebook Exec: "it will be probably all video" In 5 Years

Facebook executive Nicola Mendelsohn (WOT:nonperson) is predicting the end of text on their platform within 5 years. Mendelsohn insists the shift is "user driven", but Facebook itself seems to have a substantial role in this shift by responding to declining usership with changes favored by illiterate users. Mendelsohn tries to dress this up by supposing video is somehow a faster medium for receiving information than text, an assertion that only holds when the party trying to receive information lacks the set of skills commonly referred to as basic literacy. Sorry for your loss.

Outrage Machine Attacks Sanctity Of Marriage After Shooting

Now that gays can marry under the law outrage over a gay bar shooting is being used to weaken the definition of marriage.1 The attack on the sanctity of marriage comes as the late and lazy eyed Omar Mateen's (WOT:nonperson) wife (WOT:nonperson) disclosed she was aware he might use a gay bar as a shooting gallery. In light of this voluntary disclosure following husband's death, a death which relieved her of her matrimonial obligation to hold his confidence, the outrage industrial complex is calling for her to be criminally charged and crucified. Continue reading


  1. The usual noise about banning the sale and possession of high capacity magazines is also being spouted, but that's not news so much as a weather phenomenon  

"Reverse Feeding Tube" Latest Luxury Developed For Mayogendered Lifestyle

The United States Food and Drug Administration announced their approval today of the AspireAssist, a device that pumps undigested food from the stomach of third gendered individuals through a port in the abdomen. During trials of the device users were reported to have their body mass index reduced on average from 50 which corresponds to class IV morbid obesity to 35 which corresponds to class II severe obesity. Shelby Sullivan (WOT:nonperson) who lead the pilot study described the device as:

a form of calorie restriction that takes into account the desire to eat

In other words this dangerous device would allow transmayo individuals to reduce the visible manifestation of their character defects without actually addressing their defects of character. This means that in the future many mayogendered individuals may be able to "pass" as the gender they choose to present as with less interference from their actual biological mayogender.1


  1. Individuals who reclaim visible external genitalia without addressing their serious binge eating disorder of course would maintain their mayogendered status where it counts. Extant bariatric surgeries at least bring the possibility of treating the eating disorder through conditioning the Obeast into eating less due to a change in their physical condition. This bypasses that promising an easier softer way while neglecting to treat the actual disorder.