China Souring On Dirty Canadian Agricultral Products

Exports from Canadian farms are increasinly being rejected or delayed in Chinese ports due to concerns over pests, sanitation, and other potential threats to the Chinese environment (archived). The Canada government abducted Chinese businesswoman Meng Wanzhou in December of 2018 at the behest of an organized crime operation in the US.

German Secret Police Panic Over "Prepping" Fad

Germany's domestic spy agency the BfV is raising alarms over a growing prepping fad which these secret police are presenting as a "undergroung far-right" threat to zher democracy (archived). That some people in Germany are stockpiling food, water, firearms, and other supplies as well as practicing in their use out of a fear that Germany could go to shit is apparently a problem for Zher Merkel's snitches.

Pantsuitist Loots NGO Lobbying To Get UN Job, Gets Job UN And Fucks NGO All While Thinking Of The Children

The local press in Uruguay is telling the story of Pantsuitist Luis Pedernera's successfully executed and very typically Pantsuitist career advancement scheme (archived). Pedernera started with a job as a lawyer for the local "Instituto de Estudios Legales del Uruguay" where burned his employer's funds lobbying for to secure a job on the UN's "Comité de los Derechos del Niño" and catching notice through his advancement of very weird ideas on childhood.

Pedernera's former employer is now broke and selling the apartment dressed as an office where they tried to maintain headquarters in Montevideo's Old City.

Californication: Home Depot Looks To Withdraw From Indefensible Oakland Location

Home Depot is considering the closure of their stores in Oakland and Emeryville California over the failure of the locals to contain blight including homeless encampments abutting the perimeter of their stores (archived). The Oakland store generates approximately 8 million USD in sales taxes annually for the city government by Oakland's own reporting. Last year a propane tank explosion rocked the encampment yet its presence persists (archived). A letter sent by a regional executive of the chain cited persistent theft and safety hazards as problems affecting the location.

Local authorities estimate housing and "servicing" their homeless of ~28,000 heads would cost 12.7 billion USD or roughly 450,000 USD per individual "serviced" by the local government.

US Prepares To Tackle Illegal Immigration… With Facial Recognition Wank For Folks LEAVING The US

As progress on Trump's wall is slowed due to his captiulation on budgeting, US airlines are being compelled to engage in facial recognition scans for departing passengers in the name of combatting illegal immigration (archived). It appears construction of the metaphorical wall is indeed proceeding, but this one aims to keep people in. While all the popular talk is on immigration, the barriers are going up to stop emigration.

Mexican Troops Draw Weapons, Make US Soldiers Their Bitch On US Side Of Rio Grande

A handful of Mexican troops operating on the US side of the Rio Grande drew weapons on two US soldiers in a border patrol vehicle and disarmed the US forces on what is nominally US soil (archived, archived). The US military and Department of Homeland Security have allegedly requested an "explanation" from the Mexicans.

MBA Grad Takes Revenge On Alma Mater's Computers With USB Device

Vishwanath Akuthota, a 2017 MBA graduate of the College of Saint Rose in Albany returned to the school this February to bring his vengance to the school's computers (archived). Akuthota used a commercially available USB Killer device to fuck some shit up as he filmed himself using the device. The device took the 5 volt USB power output to charge its reserves and then delivered a -220 volt discharge, repeatedly. This attack vector works on any device too lazily and cheaply engineered to include surge protection for both positive and negative voltages built into the USB ports.

Akuthota is allege to have caused ~60,000 USD in damage.

Committed To Form: Tripoli Issues Arrest Warrant For Apparent De Facto Sovereign Haftar

The US/UN backed "government" in Tripoli has issued an arrest warrant for leader Khalifa Haftar who has lead a campaign capturing much of the country (archived). Haftar's forces have kept the "Government of National Accord" in Tripoli under fire for the past two weeks. Six of Haftar's officers have had arrest warrants issued for launching airstrikes at "government" positions. Issuing arrest warrants in the face of airstrikes and an active seige demonstrates a strong committment to Pantsuitist form on the part of the National Accordist government as well as a lack of… actual national accord.

Europe Today: "Brexit Party" Moving To Win UK Election For EU Parliament, Notre Dame Apparently To Remain Ruins

Macron Ready to get BLAKKKED The "Brexit Party", Nigel Farage's successor to the UKIP, is moving experiencing polling movement that suggests a win in upcoming European Parliament elections (archived). These EU elections happening after the Brexit deadline but before the new Macronist, maybe Brexit deadline.

Meanwhile French Despot Macron is promising to rebuild Notre Dame in only five years while making the landmark construction "more beautiful" ensuring future visitors will only ever be able to view the Ruins of Notre Dame. With the investigation ongoing, arson speculation is being branded "conspiracy theory" material in mainstream Pantsuitist venues despite the recent trend of church arsons and desecrations in France (archived). A Google censorship tool flagged footage of the Notre Dame fire as "9/11 Conspiracy" content as well (archived).

Sea Is No Escape: Thai Navy Pursues Couple For Constructing And Settling Offshore Platform

The Royal Thai Navy is pursuing local woman Supranee Thepdet and her gringo spouse Chad Andrew Elwartowski for aggression against Section 119 of Criminal Code involving:

any acts that cause the country or parts of it to fall under the sovereignty of a foreign state or deterioration of the state's independence (archived)

The couple is alleged to be plotting the birth of new nation on their 6 meter wide floating platform parked outside of Thai territorial waters yet within a portion of the Thai Exclusive Economic Zone the Thais claim is a critical route taken by oil tankers on their way Phuket. Thai law offers sentences of death or life imprisonment for violations of Section 119.

The couple are not defending the sovereignty of their offshore "seasteading" platform. Beyond what they aren't doing their location is unknown.