Six Cops Attempting To Invade Philadelphia Home Shot By Lone Defender

Six police officers in Philadelphia attempting to raid a local home were shot by a lone defender (archived). After repelling the initial assault, 36 year old Black American Patriot Maurice Hill maintained a standoff for 7 hours before surrendering. During the standoff neighborhood residents taunted USG forces and pelted them with thrown objects as the police were being fired upon by the defender. The terms of Maurice Hill's surrender obligate the USG to pay his food, board, and medical costs until his release.

The aggressor force claims to have had a narcotics related warrant issued by local courts whose self proclaimed authority neither Mister Hill nor his neighbors recognized.

British Gibraltar Releases Iranian Tanker Over US Objections

The Iranian tanker captured by British forces and held in the Queendom's Gibraltar has been released (archived). The USG tried to intervene by having the US "Department of Justice" file a petition with local authorities to seize the vessel for themselves. That effort failed.

Verizon Unloads Tumblr On Automattic After Value Collapses Under Porn Ban

Nine months after Verizon subsidary1 Tumblr enacted a ban on pornography, Verizon is unloading the troubled property on Automattic (archived). Yahoo purchased Tumblr for 1.1 billion USD in 2013, but rumors and innuendo surrounding the deal suggest a sale price in this deal near the 3 million USD mark with an upper bound on the yet to be disclosed price of 10 million USD. Auttomatic has expressed their intention to continue the insane ban on "adult" content as per their policy of fixing nothing ever.


  1. via Yahoo acquisition  

Peso Argentino And Argentine Markets Fall After Primary Elections Give "Peronist" Alberto Fernandez, Cristina Kirchner Margin Sufficient To Win October Ballot Outright

Primary elections in Argentina on Sunday returned results that gave the "Peronist" ticket of Alberto Fernandez and Cristina Kirchner sufficient votes to win the October general election outright if yesterday's performance is repeated. This has been met with a 14.5 percent fall of the Peso Argentino against the USD, while the brief narrowing of the buy/sell spead of the Peso Argentino in Uruguay has been blown open with exchanges in Uruguay advertising spreads as wide as 0.50/1.15 (archived). Argentina's stock market has suffered today as well.

In a development less clearly connected to Argentina's electoral/economic disaster, the twitter account of Prefectura Naval Argentina was "hacked" to broadcast an hoax alert claiming a British missile attack had killed 27. In the incredibly unlikely event a new Falklands conflict opened up again between Argentina and Queen Elizabeth's forces, the largest open question is which of the two combatants declined more in the intervening decades.

Arkancide Today: Jeffery Epstein Dead In Jail Two Weeks After Being Put On Suicide Watch, Hours After Pantsuit Names Released

USG Blue party supernode, "intelligence asset", and alleged child sex trafficker Jeffery Epstein was found dead today in his cell at the Manhattan Correctional center. He was reportedly placed on suicide watch two weeks ago after being found injured in his cell, but either the watch was lacking or Epstein was especially determined. His death comes hours after earlier litigation1 concerning one girl passed through his operations was unsealed exposing numerous Pantsuit names.

Among the names involved in that particular girl's time in Epstein's network include Bill Richardson who spent time during the Clinton administration as US ambassador to the UN and Secretary of Energy. As Secretary of Energy he presided over the railroading of Wen Ho Lee in a hallucinated espionage panic. Also samed are former US Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell, and the late MIT LISP fellow and "useless machine" inventor Marvin Minsky.


  1. Specifically the unsealed suit in question was filed against Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's operations girl and child of Mossad agent Robert Maxwell. 

DIY "If You Want A Gun You Can Print It" Guru Cody Wilson Pleas And Enters "Sex" Offender Registry

Cody Wilson, the DIY firearms guru trapped in a sex sting by the USG last year has plead to charges of injuring a child, down from charges of sexual assualt initially brought by the USG over an incident where Wilson allegedly paid a sex worker for sex (archived). The plea agreement places Wilson on probation for seven years and requires his registration as a sex offender.

The platform where Wilson was targeted by this underage USG agent required users to attest to being over the age of legal majority creating substantial contrast between this case and that of a certain Conde Nast tech writer.

More Than A Quarter Of US C-130H/J Grounded Over Structural Concerns

The United States Air Mobility Command has grounded 123 of the 450 planes in its C-130H and C-130J transport aircraft (archived). The official line on the grounding is that "unusual cracking" was found in the lower center wing joint. This sudden reduction in transport capacity is not a good look for the USG's operational capacity in light of its other recent failings.

Imperial Anti-V Unveiled: Eat More Star Topology

USG surveillance and makework enterprise RedHat has unveilled rget, a wget replacement apparently positioned as the empire's answer to the V integrity system (archived). The Imperial answer to the problem of trust in rget has the tool checking a hash of the downloaded file against an "official cryptographic registry" where folks offering files for download submit their hashes to. Notably absent is any discussion of identity, with this core problem simply brushed aside. Why allow weighing who's who when the register can simply be official, anything else would simply be discriminatory.

8chan, The Daily Stormer, And Bitmitigate All Down Following Scold Engineering Attack

Further reaction to increasing individual acts of violent rebellion against Mammy State values in the US has seen the scold lobby break Cloudflare alternative Bitmitigate by scolding "Infrastructure as a service" provider Voxility into closing Bitmitigate's account (archived). Pantsuit media organs are crediting "Stanford Internet Observatory Director" Alex Stamos for allowing them to target Voxility for scolding. As a result 8chan, The Daily Stormer, and other sites which subscribed to Bitmitigate's services are down.

It remains to be seem whether Voxility has generated a substantial tort for Bitmitigate to pursue or if their "infrastructure as a service" arrangement innovated away contracts and standards of performance.

Americas Today: Uruguay Issues Travel Advisory Urging Caution For Visitors To US

Uruguay's Ministry of Exterior Relations has issued a travel advisory for Uruguayos headed to the US advising them to avoid among other things particular cities known internationally for their endemic violence including Detroit, Baltimore, and Albuquerque (archived). The advisory also discourages attending culinary, cultural, sporting events, and anywhere else large crowds gather due to the ongoing war between individual disaffected youth and the school marm bloc. The full text of the advisory is replicated below:

COMUNICADO DE PRENSA Nº 92/19

El Ministerio de Relaciones Exteriores alerta a los compatriotas que viajen a los Estados Unidos a extremar las precauciones ante la creciente violencia indiscriminada, en su mayor parte por crímenes de odio, entre los cuales el racismo y la discriminación, que costaron la vida a más de 250 personas en los primeros siete meses de este año.
Ante la imposibilidad de las autoridades de prevenir estas situaciones, debido entre otros factores, a la posesión indiscriminada de armas de fuego por la población, se aconseja especialmente evitar los lugares donde se producen grandes concentraciones de personas, como parques temáticos, centros comerciales, festivales artísticos, actividades religiosas, ferias gastronómicas y cualquier tipo de manifestaciones culturales o deportivas multitudinarias. En particular, se recomienda no concurrir con menores a esos lugares.
Asimismo, se sugiere en lo posible evitar algunas ciudades, que se encuentran entre las 20 más peligrosas del mundo, como Detroit (Michigan), Baltimore (Maryland) y Albuquerque (Nuevo México), según el índice de Ceoworld Magazine 2019.

Montevideo, 5 de agosto de 2019
Fuente: Ministerio de Relaciones Exteriores
Dirección de Prensa