Category Archives: News

Bitcoin Difficulty Dials Back 1.63%

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In its march to cross 2 trillion Bitcoin network difficulty has decreased by 1.63 percent from 199312067531.24301147 to 196061423939.64996338 during its latest adjustment. The next mining subsidy halving is still on schedule with all of the chaos that entails. Expect anything,1 but it is likely that weaker miners will continue getting squeezed out with only small temporary dips in network hashrate. Weakening fiat markets in China and the fresh constraint on new coin market entry are likely to lead the way at fiat/Bitcoin interfaces with the weaker and more fraudulent fiat/Bitcoin interfaces potentially getting squeezed as well in the manner of Mt Gox. Sorry for your loss.

  1. Due to the likelihood of intensified fraud on the fiat side all manner of short term trends are possible.  ↩

Rural Police Recapture Funds Liberated In Social Engineering Coup

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Officials in Platte County, MO announced they have recovered $28,205 of $48,200 they lost due to a county treasurer falling victim to a social engineering attack delivered via spoofed emails. Rob Willard, the treasurer, said he made a wire transfer in the amount of $48,000 after receiving an email from someone pretending to be Presiding Commissioner Ron Schieber, in order to pay for a tax consultant. Upon realizing he had been duped, Mr. Willard alerted the Feebs and the fraud department of Wells-Fargo who are still investigating and have not yet found the source of the fraudulent emails. The individuals responsible are believed to have liberated several other counties in Missouri and Kansas of funds as well.

Fenton Taking Leave Of Vessenes' Fundnation Corpse

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Bruce Fenton (WOT:nonperson) has announced on the Bitcoin core client fork's slack channel that he will be resigning his position as director of Vessenes' Fundnation1 in 2 months. When the news started making the rounds on social media, he quickly added he might stay if he had assistance or funding, leading to speculation the announcement is a last-ditch attempt to scam more gullible redditors out of money. The Vessenes' Fundnation blew through 5800 BTC in 2014 and have repeatedly balked at releasing financials and transparency reports on their website. Despite repeated appeals to the public to help him revive the failed organization, it seems no one can figure out what the Vessenes' Fundnation actually is good for besides handing out out fancy titles and harboring failed child stars and alleged child fuckers like Brock Pierce (WOT:nonperson).

  1. Also known as the organization fraudulently misrepresenting itself as the actual Bitcoin Foundation  ↩

Likely Next French President Wants Bitcoin Ban

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Likely next French President Marine Le Pen (WOT:nonperson) has gone on the record stating that she would like a ban on Bitcoin. Remember kids that National Socialism is still socialism with all its kleptographic tendencies intact. This holds whether Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) or bizzaro French Hilary Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) is promoting it. Sorry for your loss. Peace in our time.

Mere 265 Bitcoin Sell Causes Flashcrash At Coinbase, Chronically Thin Orderbook To Blame

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Woe Unto TheeThe reported price at fiat/Bitcoin interface Coinbase almost exactly one hundred United States dollars per Bitcoin after a single sell of 265 Bitcoins demolished their orderbook. The Coinbase "exchange" like the Winkelvii (WOT:nonpeople, possibly arbuscular mycorrhizal organisms) operated Gemini exchange manifests a hypothesis made famous by the late American philosopher Yogi Berra that a venue can be so popular no one patronizes it. Coinbase exchange and anything the Winkelvii touch generate substantial lamestream attention creating an appearance of popularity, but incidents where people actually try to use these platforms to trade seriously reveal that there actually isn't anyone using the places to conduct their business.

Remains Of Hewlett Packard Go All In On Remains Of Syfy Franchise

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In a press release today Hewlett Packard Enterprise, a venture cast off from printer ink scam and former technology powerhouse Hewlett Packard1 in 2015, announced it had bought the plotline to "Star Trek Beyond" from producers of the film as a marketing vehicle for an upcoming product launch. Created by Gene Roddenberry (WOT:nonperson) the Star Trek Syfy franchise helped to kickstart Hollywood's shift to an annuitized business model2 which allows for a predictable return on investment by telling audiences "STFU, these stories are connected." The product driving the plot of the film is yet another Unix machine produced by Hewlett Packard Enterprise (TM)(R) running with an odd build of Linux3 instead of HP-UX and a novel form of memory together united in the way the marketing department imagines it will work after 250 years of bug fixes.

  1. The piece of the historical Hewlett Packard's corpse which most closely carries out the original's work was severed in 1999 and now goes by the name Agilient Technologies.  ↩

  2. At present the outwardly healthiest of these motion picture annuities is operated by Disney utilizing their acquired comic book properties.  ↩

  3. Correction: Hewlett Packard Enterprise (TM)(R) scrapped their oddball Linux portion of this product in favor of running a less peculiar flavor of Linux  ↩

High Profile Likely Hilary Voter Arrested For DUI In California

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Roger Clinton (WOT:nonperson); the brother of America's first black president Bill Clinton (WOT:nonperson), Brother in Law of Hilary Rodham-Clinton (WOT:nonperson), and related through shared New York values to Donald Trump-Clinton (WOT:nonperson) was arrested for driving under the influence. Roger refused blood alcohol testing leaving what he was under the influence of a mystery.  In the past Roger was arrested for crimes involving cocaine. Bill pardoned Roger under the Clinton "family and friends" package. Perhaps Ross Ulbricht (WOT:nonperson) ought to do some searching on his family tree. Sorry for your loss.

Africa Travel Entrepreneur Arrested

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Cameroon national Eric Donys Simeu (WOT:nonperson) has been charged with conspiracy, wire fraud, computer fraud and access device fraud by US Authorities after being arrested in France for his role in an airline ticket scam. Simeu used phishing emails and social engineering techniques to persuade employees of Global Distribution Systems to hand over their login details. He then used this information to issue tickets at will, selling them for cash or using them for personal travel, eventually raking in almost $2 million USD. Simeu was arrested while using one of his fake tickets to travel from Morocco to Paris using a fraudulent UK passport in 2014, and was only extradited to U.S. last week.