The NYPD is seizing so much money through it civil assets forfeiture laws that counting it all would cause their Property and Evidence Tracking System (PETS) to crash due to the volume. NYPD's Assistant Deputy Commissioner Robert Messner stated he "no idea how much money it took in as evidence, nor did it have a way of reporting it" as "a manual count of over half a million invoices each year” would be required. Officials claim that an overhaul of the 4 year old PET system would be required to perform the necessary accounting. (archived)
Category Archives: Altcoins
NJ Hamplanet Chris Christie's Own Lawyer Calls Him A Liar
New Jersey hamplanet and alleged governor Chris Christie's own lawyer asserted his own client was a liar. The trial concerns allegations of wrongdoing connected to a local scandal of trivial importance. Christie is notable for scuttling his own campaign for the United States presidency in order to sabotage his own party's candidates in support of Donald Trump-Clinton's campaign and eating himself into a genderless anatomical state. Sorry for your laws.
Paxful "Executives" Arrested With Oodles Of Drugs
Paxful executives were arrested after Chief Technology Officer Artur Shaback engaged in the practice of "open carry" on the balcony of a private domicile. Police responded to this lawful activity by establishing a perimeter and taking Shaback in to custody along with Paxful Chief Executive Officer Mohamed Azab Yousseff and another yet man, Ivan Suhharev.
Following police violence that allegedly lead to the discovery of drugs the Paxful "executives" were released. The CTO and Suhharev face charges of "improper exhibition" relating to their constitutional open carry in the boundaries of a domicile. The CEO faces charges of hashish and cocaine possession with intent to distribute1 in a clear cut case of "Shrem's Bong" lowering another fringe "emerging technologies" addict into pederasty.
Peace in our time, for as another aspiring businessman once wrote before his life became unmanageable:
Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.
"Intent to distribute" in the Usistani vocabulary denotes a quantity of drug material or a manner of packaging drug material, and does not actually depend upon establishing an actual intent to distribute the drug material. ↩
Another Crack In Ether Handler's Fume Hood
ETH huffers are in a panic again as yet another bug was discovered in geth, the bug-riddled version of the protocol written in Golang. (archived) The most recent discovery causes geth nodes running out of memory and crash on block 2283416. No fix was offered at this time, and developers said it will be necessary to use another implementation until geth is repaired. Prices had dropped 1.30% on the news, according to coinmarketap.com
Japanese Virginity Reaches Crisis Levels
The Japan Times reports that nearly half of unmarried adult Japanese men and women are virgins. Decades of social "reforms" have left the Japanese population docile to the point sex outside a marital contract rarely happens, and Japan's low birthrate suggests that even marital contracts to little to promote sex among those residents of Japan who managed to lose their virginity.
A similar though less developed trend of sexlessness is beginning to emerge in the young adult population in the United States, though rampant transmayogenderism complicates comparisons by as many young Americans can be visually identified as sexually defective from a distance. Japan's increase in obesity lags their growing sexlessness while American sexlessness lags their increasing obesity. The failure of the fundamental biological drive to "make baby" suggest deep defects at the societal and personal level in both cases.
Peace (by attrition) in our time.
Not Quite News Roundup Xtend 6 (TM)(R)
Welcome to the sixth edition of the Qntra Not Quite News Roundup Xtend (TM)(R). The below events are alleged to have happened, but they are probably innocent of newsworthiness.
- A mentally ill teenager from Godfrey Illinois, Keaun Cook, faces terrorism related charges in his local criminal court. The teenager was indicted in spite of a search of his home failing to find any weapons or hazardous materials as well as nearly a year of his life already spent in confinement at "mental health" facilities. His only prior criminal conviction was for misdemeanor "damage to property" after allegedly scratching a pickup truck with a rock.In 2011 a college student, Olutosin Oduwole, was convicted of similar terrorism charges in the same local criminal court after a set of song lyrics were discovered in his locked vehicle when his vehicle was towed by his university's parking stasi in 2007. That particular conviction was overturned in an outright reversal by an appellate court in May 2013 after the prosecution victim had already lost more than six years of his life to the ordeal.
- In an op ed piece for the New York Times Richard Lumb advanced the position that intervention is required to "correct" the unfolding of actual historical events.
- The United States Air Force has grounded its flavor F-35 Join Strike Fighter due to crumbling insulation. The boondoggle continues.
- Trend pieces emerged this week documenting a new strategy American cities are using to fight rats (archived). Municipal government employees are putting chunks of solid carbon dioxide into rat burrows where the material kills the rats as it vaporizes and is then released into the atmosphere. Urban politicians and mainstream media outlets have spent years heralding the atmospheric release of carbon dioxide as the greatest threat to civilization.
- Aspiring New York based Bitcoin exchange Itbit, after failing to become a Bitcoin exchange trading any serious volume, has decided to shift to bespoke software development and change their name to Paxos as they rebrand to shift into a completely different kind of industry.
- A interesting case study in how for USians their everything is useless and harmful was discovered (archived).
Alibaba Clamps Down On Internal Theft
Alibaba, a Chinese online retailer that serves as the supply chain for numerous small and medium "businesses", has recently clamped down on internal theft following a holiday related hacking incident (archived). To celebrate the mid Autumn festival the firm awarded each of its employees a moon cake while allowing employees to purchase additional moon cakes. Four different software engineers were discovered directing to themselves a total of 496 ill gotten moon cakes in what are reported to be separate incidents. The employment of the thieves was terminated. Sorry for your loss.
"Autopilot" Provider Dumps Elon Musk, Tesla
Mobileye, the Israeli firm which developed the "autopilot" feature for Tesla Motors has dumped Elon Musk's (WOT:nonperson) Tesla as a customer. Mobileye is publicly breaking ties over concerns that Tesla is reselling and marketing Mobileye's product in an unsafe manner. Continuing their relationship with Tesla threatens to introduce substantial liability through Tesla's abuse of their product.
Elon Musk's other major venture SpaceX recently destroyed a telecommunications satellite made by an Israeli firm for Mark Zuckerberg's (WOT:nonperson) data collection firm. Musk's rocket exploded on the launch pad resulting in the loss of the satellite. The circle of persons and businesses willing to conduct business with Elon Musk and his ventures appears to be shrinking.
Sorry for your loss.
US Business Emigration Today! A Special Edition Bayer Roundup Xtend
A number of transactions and announcement occurred today documenting the flight of business activity from the United States.
- Monsanto finally surrendered their business to a bid from Bayer AG for 128 dollars per share in a cash transaction, pending regulatory approval. The purchase would merge the dominant agricultural seed producers firmly placing the future of United States agriculture in German hands. A present the two firms are independently the leading manufacturers of herbicide resistant crops. The number of persons too poor for trees1 is expected to climb.
- Ford Motor Company announced they are moving manufacturing operations for all of their small cars to Mexico.
- Surrogates for the major party candidates for the United States presidency continue clogging the mainstream press with arguments over which geriatric candidate is less decrepit in their old age as well as which candidate's non-profit "charitable" organization is less corrupt. Hilary Rodham Clinton remains on her third day of rest following this past weekend's health scare.
Also known as living in a state of povertree. ↩
Hillary Clinton's Twin Legs Buckle Where Twin Towers Fell
Candidate for the United States Presidency Hillary Rodham Clinton suffered a medical episode during a ceremony at the 9/11 Memorial in New York. Her legs buckled and she appeared to faint (archived). This incident is notable for receiving coverage in the mainstream US press which has thus far dismissed concerns about Hillary's health as crackpottery. She is sixty-eight years old and she will turn sixty-nine before the election. Her major election opponent Donald Trump-Clinton at seventy years of age is also geriatric. Of the candidates on the ballot in all 50 states, Gary Johnson is the only candidate who would finish a first term as president before his seventieth birthday. Peace in our time, Rest in theirs.
Update: Hillary was evacuated from the 9/11 memorial in Manhattan to her daughter Chelsea's apartment. Representatives of her campaign insist she merely "overheated" though in the United States heat related injuries are taken very seriously by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration and classified as reportable incidents subject to investigations, fines, and penalties. Clinton privilege strikes again.
Update 2: Now Hillary's doctor is alleging that she has been suffering pneumonia since Friday. Pneumonia is a leading cause of death in geriatrics.